


the more you ignore me the closer i get

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Gore, Car Accidents, False Accusations, Gun Violence, Hostage Situations, M/M, Nightmares, Soap Opera, Stalking, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:47:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22421314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Aaron's going through it, again. Robert is distant, Rebecca is smug, and Liv is back to breaking everything. When she receives a letter from Lachlan White, it's the last straw. Aaron figures that he can fix one problem, at least, and makes a visit that will change his life, and the lives of everyone he cares about.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 134
Kudos: 244





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written in late 2016. It goes AU pretty quickly. 
> 
> Beta'd by persiflager.

It’s only chance that Aaron finds the letter before Liv does. 

He’s been spending a lot of time at the scrapyard lately; it’s better than being home, dealing with Robert’s ill-disguised frustration and Liv’s current penchant for scowling and slamming doors. He knows that they are both unhappy with his refusal to buy Mill Cottage, but he will not use Gordon’s money to start his new life, and what’s more, he’s not taking advantage of Liv in that way. If they can’t afford it, then maybe they should hold off for now (and if he’s also not sure that moving out with Robert is something that he wants, he’s doing his best to get past it. Ignore, repress, deny, that’s his plan). Adam is still helping at the farm as well, so there is a lot of slack left for Aaron to pick up, and he's away from home more often than not anymore. 

It just so happens that this day, he forgets to bring a lunch, and he figures that he might as well go home. No one is supposed to be there. Robert has a meeting (sure he does, a voice whispers in the back of Aaron’s mind; it goes with difficulty) and Liv and Noah are at school. Chas will be minding the bar and she’ll have bullied Charity into the same. 

It’s a whim to check the post, but he’s glad of it when he sees the letter. It’s addressed to Liv, but the return is care of a certain expensive solicitor, a solicitor that Aaron knows from Robert’s colorful ranting as the trial had drawn near. He knows who the letter is from. 

He debates binning it without opening, but in the end he can’t resist. He wants to know what the little creep is saying to her, what lies he’s spinning out. So he opens it.

Two minutes later he’s setting it on fire, scowling. The letter had been apologetic, remorseful. He had said that he was looking to make amends, that he was sorry for the way he had treated her, that he was learning to see the error of his ways. Aaron snorts, and rinses the ashes of the letter down the sink. If there’s one thing that he knows about prison it’s that the last thing it does is make you see the error of your ways. If anything, it teaches you newer and uglier tricks. 

He calls Lachlan’s solicitor. The man is polite. He listens as Aaron tells him that he does not want Lachlan contacting his sister; they have nothing to talk about and never will. Please do not forward any more letters. He agrees, Aaron thanks him, they ring off. 

He does not mention the letter. 

Two weeks later there is another. Chas gives it to him after dinner, after Liv has pounded up the stairs and music with a heavy bass has started up in her room. Her face is creased with worry. 

“It’s from him, isn’t it?” she says, and beside him Robert stiffens. 

This time, Aaron doesn’t bother reading; he simply burns the letter and stands at the sink a moment, furious. 

“I’ll kill him,” Robert says, standing.

“You will not,” Aaron says, turning back around and giving Robert a look. “I think you’ve had enough contact with that family lately, don’t you?”

Robert’s eyes widen and he slowly sits back down. Chas looks between the two of them a moment, eyes bright with curiosity, but when neither of them speaks she shrugs and turns to Aaron. “We could try phoning his solicitor; it’s his address on the envelope,” she offers, and Aaron shakes his head. 

“Tried that.”

“Wait, you mean this isn’t the first one?” Chas’ brow furrows with concern. “How many have there been?”

“Just one. Plus that one.” He nods towards the sink.

Robert stares at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I took care of it.” Aaron sighs. “At least I thought I had. Look, don’t worry yourselves about it. Liv’s my responsibility; I’ll handle it. No, Robert,” he says as he sees Robert’s mouth open. “I’ll do it myself.”

The solicitor will be no help. He could probably hire one of his own, file a harassment suit, but he’s hoping it won’t come to that. He’s going to go straight to the source and hope that there is enough decency in him to agree to lay off. So he closes the scrapyard one morning and he pays a visit to the prison. 

He doesn’t like being back there, doesn’t like the waiting room. Doesn’t like the squeak of chairs and the soft sniffling of parents, lovers, even children who have come to visit loved ones banged up for whatever reason. Doesn’t like to meet the eyes of anyone filing in from behind the bars, because in all of them he sees an all too familiar despair. 

When Lachlan sees him, he stops. His eyes widen slightly and his face twitches. The guard behind him gives him a none too gentle prod, and Lachlan steps forward tentatively. “I thought you’d be my mum,” he says, shifting from foot to foot. “Don’t know why; she hasn’t visited me once since the sentencing.” His mouth twists. “Guess she wasn’t lying about being scared of me after all.”

Aaron doesn’t want to hear this. He stands as well. “Stop writing to Liv,” he says. “I don’t want you contacting her. She doesn’t need you messing with her, do you understand?”

Lachlan frowns unhappily. “I just want to tell her I’m sorry. I liked her, most of the time.” His eyes flick down, then back up to Aaron’s. “You, too,” he says. “I’m sorry for the stuff I said. I-“  
“If you’re staying, you need to sit down.” It’s the same officer who nudged Lachlan before. Lachlan shoots him an uneasy look and sits, but Aaron does not. 

“I don’t care about your apologies. Just stop, right? Leave us alone.” He turns to leave.

“I know what Andy did to you,” Lachlan blurts, and Aaron turns back in surprise. “Mum told Diane and I heard. I know that he was responsible for Robert getting shot.” He pauses, twists his hands together. “He knew all the time that it was down to him, and he let you get banged up for it anyway. No one called him evil for it.”

Aaron stares at him. “Is that supposed to make it okay? Does it make what you did to Alicia okay? Or what you threatened to do to Robert-“ he stops there. Thinking about Robert isn’t the best way to keep himself from going off these days. The way he feels about him is a mess of conflicting emotions: anger and distrust and pain combined with almost overwhelming love and a desperate need to believe that he isn’t being made a mug out of. He can barely deal with these feelings when he’s completely at ease, much less right now when he’s so on edge he feels ready to vibrate out of his skin. 

Lachlan shakes his head. “Nothing can make up for Alicia,” he says softly. “I know that. And Robert…I just wanted him to leave us alone. I was trying to help Rebecca. I thought she was a nice person. I thought she cared about me.” He looks down at his hands and lets out a humorless laugh. “I should have known better.”

“Sir.” It is the officer again. “I need you to sit down if you’re staying.”

“I’m not,” Aaron reassures him. He looks down at Lachlan, meaning to tell him one last time to leave Liv alone, but closes his mouth abruptly when his eyes land on him. Lachlan is crying. As he watches, two tears course slowly down his face, dripping off of his chin to splash on the tabletop below. 

_Shit_ , Aaron thinks, and against his better judgement, sits down. Lachlan looks up, startled, and two fresh tears slip from his eyes. 

Aaron takes a breath and rubs at his temples briefly, then leans forward, speaking softly so that they won’t be overheard. “Right, listen up. Number one, you don’t cry. Don’t ever cry. It’s weakness and they will jump all over it here. Two, keep your head down. Don’t smart off, don’t make waves. Just get through the day without pissing anyone off. And do us a favor and try to learn something from this. D’you still have that therapist?”

Lachan nods, eyes wide and still shimmering. “Yeah,” he says, and sniffs, drags the back of his hand across his nose. “Until I’m eighteen.” He looks all of thirteen while saying it, and although Aron still hates him, still thinks that he deserves to be here, he can’t help but feel an unwelcome twinge of pity. 

“Well then. Actually try with him, yeah? You do that, you might turn out all right.” Aaron stands up. “Don’t write to Liv anymore. I don’t want her talking to you.”

“Yeah, alright.” 

“Good.” He turns once again to walk away.

“Aaron.” Aaron turns back. Lachlan’s mouth twitches into a brief smile, then fades into seriousness again. “Thanks. For being decent. I know you didn’t have to.”

Aaron nods, then leaves, practically running. He doesn’t turn back again, and so misses the thoughtful way that Lachlan stares after him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who took the time to kudos and/or comment.

That’s the end of the letters. Life continues as usual. Robert keeps trying to convince Aaron that Mill Cottage is what they need to move on, and Aaron keeps putting him off. Liv finds out about Robert’s kiss with Rebecca White and any progress that they’d made is completely erased – Aaron is only able to keep her from keying Robert’s car by picking her up and carrying her away from it, and they go through two screaming rows before she agrees to stop kicking him any time he sits at the table with them. Still, she glares whenever he is in the room and she’s pulled back her offer to help with the purchase of Mill Cottage. She’s also acting out again and she’s taken to hinting that Robert should move out on his own, away from them. Chas knows that something is wrong, but she hasn’t asked and Aaron isn’t saying anything. He doesn’t need her kicking off at Robert too.

Rebecca White has tried to talk to him a few times, but Aaron has brushed her off. Robert says that nothing is going on, that nothing ever was, but he sees the way that her eyes still follow him around when they’re in the same room together and he knows that she doesn’t feel the same. She hasn’t given up. In the back of his mind Aaron knows that by refusing to forgive Robert he’s driving him right towards her, that eventually he’s going to decide that he might as well go ahead and earn Aaron’s ire, but he still can’t seem to let his guard down again. It isn’t that he expects Robert to cheat, although that’s what he knows Robert thinks. It’s that he’s forever letting her get close enough to try. It’s that he got so caught up in his own schemes that he never once considered how Aaron might feel about what he was up to. It’s being willing to try and break Lachlan out of prison rather than opening his mouth and admitting the truth. Rather than trusting that Aaron would listen. It’s that Aaron is no longer sure that the two of them are solid enough for marriage, and it terrifies him.

He’s still spending a lot of time at the scrapyard, but not as much as he used to, because he’s finally convinced Adam that they need to hire someone to help pick up the slack. Aaron has done Finn a favor and hired his newly woken friend Kasim to help out, and though he is still a bit weak he is amazing at adding up the books, so Aaron is free to do all the scrapping while Kasim makes sure that their numbers add up properly. He’d been worried about it at first, but it turns out that Kasim is great to work with, easygoing and rather funny in a dry way, and it’s pleasant to have someone to work with again. Kasim is no Adam, but they get on.

Aaron has pretty much forgotten all about Lachlan White when he receives a call one day while at work. The voice on the other end is soft and rather warm, and even before he introduces himself Aaron knows the man’s line of work.

“Good afternoon Mr. Dingle. My name is Taylor Lumley. I am Lachlan White’s therapist. Do you have a moment to speak with me?”

Aaron hesitates. He looks to where Kasim is sitting, head bent over this month’s ledger, completely oblivious. “Uh…”

“If this is a bad time, I can call when it’s more convenient? Or perhaps we can meet?”

Aaron’s head aches. He reaches up and rubs at his temples, closing his eyes. “No, now’s fine,” he says, leaning his head back. There’s a small scraping sound as Kasim pushes his chair back, and then the sounds of pouring and stirring. There’s a click as Kasim sets a brew down next to Aaron on the desk, and Kasim gives him a commiserating pat on the shoulder as he returns to his desk.

“I don’t want to keep you, Mr. Dingle, so I’ll be quick. Lachlan White has made some remarkable progress in the last couple of weeks. More progress than he’s made since we began, in fact. And that’s down to you.”

“To me,” Aaron says blankly.

“Yes. He mentioned that you visited him a little while ago, spoke to him. And I know your situation, I know that you might have some reservations, but I do think it would be beneficial to him if you could-“

“No,” Aaron says. “Absolutely not, no.”

“Mr. Dingle-“

“No,” he repeats, voice sharp. “I went there to make him stop contacting us. Not to help him. I don’t want anything to do with him. He has family who is willing to help him; have you tried them?”

“You are the only one he’s responded to. I know what he’s done. I know what he’s capable of. But he’s only sixteen; still young enough that he can be reached. You’ve done that, Mr. Dingle. I understand that you might be uncomfortable –“

“Uncomfortable? I’m not uncomfortable, I’m _furious_. You say you know what he’s done. What he’s capable of. And now you call me and ask me to come out there and what? Make him feel better about being a weird little creep? No thanks. Don’t call here again.” Aaron hangs up the phone, breathing hard. He’s not really as angry as he wanted Dr. Lumley to believe. He’s upset. He wants nothing to do with any of the Whites, Lachlan least of all.

“Aaron?” Kasim says gently. “Are you..?”  
  
Aaron sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine.”  
  
“Right.” The tone is skeptical, but he doesn’t say anything else.  
  
Almost without his permission, Aaron’s mouth opens and words come out. “Ever have something that you know that you should do, but you don’t want to?”  
  
“Only every morning,” Kasim says, smiling. “Of course. Especially now. All the doctor’s visits, trying to remember anything about what I saw on that bridge. Trying to remember anything about _anything_ , really.” He shakes his head. “But I do it, because I know that I have to.” He hesitates a moment. “Right. Pretending I didn’t hear anything would be ridiculous, and so would pretending that I don’t know who you’re talking about. I know that you have your issues with him, but he’s still a kid, and you know what his family is like. Maybe…maybe it would be good for him, to have someone in his life who won’t let him off the hook.”  
  
Aaron bites his lip. He doesn’t want to do this, hates Lachlan for what he did to Alicia if nothing else, but…what Kasim is saying makes sense. He hates to admit it, but he thinks that Lachlan might still have a good kid somewhere inside of him. He keeps thinking about those tears splashing on the table. Keeps seeing the brief hope that had flared in his eyes when Aaron had given him his small bit of advice. He knows that he’s a bit of a soft touch, but he can’t help it if he likes to believe the best in people. Perhaps there is something in Lachlan that can be redeemed.  
  
Aaron sighs heavily. “So I guess I’ll be visiting him, then,” he says.  
  
Kasim beams at him, and Aaron gives a light laugh, shaking his head. “If it all goes wrong I’m blaming you,” he says, and Kasim nods, but he’s still smiling. Aaron smiles back, and Kasim looks back down at the ledger, face going a bit pink.  
  
So later that week finds Aaron once again visiting Lachlan. No one knows except for Kasim, and he has been sworn to secrecy. The last thing Aaron needs is Robert – or worse, his mum – kicking off at him for visiting the local psycho. He hasn’t called the therapist back, either, and up until Lachlan walks in he is half in, half out of his seat, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.  
  
Once Lachlan sees him, though, Aaron is stuck. He plants both legs under the table and does his best to try to relax. It doesn’t work.  
  
When Lachlan sees him, his face brightens noticeably, and then he’s sliding into the seat across from Aaron, half smiling. “Hey,” he says. “Dr. Lumley said you weren’t going to come.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I told him I wasn’t.”  
  
“So what made you change your mind?”  
  
Aaron fidgets. “He said that you were doing better. Said that it was something to do with…with the time I came here. About the letters.”  
  
Lachlan nods. He looks down and shifts in his seat, then looks back up, meeting Aaron’s eyes with an eager expression. “You said some stuff, and it made me think. Do…do you really think that I could turn things around?”  
  
The truth is that Aaron doesn’t really think so, not after all the things he’s done, but he looks so hopeful that he can’t bring himself to say it. “I don’t know,” he says instead. “Maybe. If you try. But it’ll be work. Hard work.”  
  
“I’m not afraid of work.” Lachlan fidgets a moment, bites his lips. He’s wearing a jumper under the standard prison garb and he keeps playing with the sleeves, twisting and tugging them over his hands, then smoothing them back out. Aaron fights the urge to play with his own sleeves. “Did it take work for you?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Turning things around. Mum said that you used to be-“  
  
“We’re not here to talk about me.”  
  
“No, I know. I know we’re not. But…how did you turn it around?”  
  
Aaron hears the same words echoed in another voice, and for a moment all he can do is stare. He thinks for a moment about who the last person to ask him that question had been, and all the things he’d done. All the things he had yet to do. The things he may or may not be doing now.  
  
“People didn’t give up on me,” he says, voice barely audible. “And I chilled out. A bit.”  
  
Lachlan lets out a small laugh. “I don’t think I know how to chill out,” he says, and Aaron lets out a laugh of his own.  
  
“You’ll get there,” he says, and for a moment he actually believes it.  
  
“Really?” Lachlan asks, eyes shining.  
  
Aaron gives him a half smile. “Yeah.”


	3. Chapter 3

After that, visiting Lachlan becomes something of a habit. He doesn’t visit every week or even every other week, but he goes often enough that Kasim stops looking surprised when he takes an hour during the day to head off to the prison. He can see that his presence does Lachlan good; he’s softer, more open than he was the first time that he’d visited. Aaron has found himself wondering more than once lately what Lachlan might have been like, if he’d been raised just a bit differently. He still can’t forgive him for Alicia, but he thinks that if Lachlan continues on the path he is now, he might actually turn out somewhat decent. Maybe.

Oddly enough, working at the scrapyard and visiting Lachlan are the two least stressful things in his life at the moment. After months of straightening out, Liv has suddenly started acting up again, and her antics might actually have legal consequences. Aaron still doesn’t know what possessed her to post that streaking video online. And Chas is furious; furious at Liv for acting up and endangering her livelihood, furious at Robert for condoning it and for what he’d been up to with Rebecca, furious at Aaron for not punishing Liv enough and for keeping on with Robert. Liv had ‘accidentally’ let slip about what had happened between him and Rebecca, and that coupled with what she can see around the village has her scowling and muttering under her breath whenever he’s in the same room. All the goodwill that he’d won from her in the past months seems done away with, and Aaron hasn’t the energy to try and restore it.

Because if he’s honest, he’s not sure that he _wants_ to restore her goodwill. Things are tense with Robert, very tense. He’s started working with Rebecca again, despite everything that she’s done. When she enters a room, Robert’s eyes follow her now, and the two of them spend a lot of time chatting and plotting. Aaron knows that if he asked, Robert would tell him that nothing was going on, that he doesn’t want her, that this is all about revenge and nothing else. It would probably even be true – if Robert wanted to sleep with her it would have happened already – but Aaron is sure that Rebecca doesn’t see it that way, that she believes it’s only a matter of time before she has what she wants. She’s taken to smirking triumphantly at him when she thinks he isn’t looking, and it has him constantly wound up, wanting to lash out without having a concrete reason. He hasn’t bothered bringing it up with Robert; he knows from too much experience that it won’t matter. Robert can’t see anything past his need to take revenge on Chrissie.

Aaron gets a lot of headaches when he's home, these days. It’s easier to be away.

He still hasn’t told anyone aside from Kasim about visiting Lachlan. He’s not hiding it, exactly – if questioned he’s prepared to tell anyone what he gets up to for an hour during the mornings every once in a while – but he’s not offering up the information, either. He’s not sure that anyone would care, and even if they do the last thing he needs is anyone in his life trying to lecture him on stupid ideas when they all seem to be competing for World’s Biggest Idiot.

Still, he worries. Knowing what the people he loves would probably say if they figured out what he has been up to bothers him, and he can’t help feeling badly about it. It makes all of his twitching and picking behaviors worse – all of his nails have been bitten down to the quick and none of his jumpers fit properly anymore due to tugging them constantly over his hands, tugging at hemlines and collars. His lips are also bitten red and raw, and he finds himself going to bed later and later and waking up earlier, both wanting to be there and not, hating that as the days have gone by he’s been less and less interested in sharing it with Robert. He doesn’t know what to do to fix this issue between them. He wants to be able to talk to him again, wants to be able to tell him stuff, but he doesn’t trust him.

Aaron fiddles with his ring. He hates thinking about all of this, hates the pit that opens in his stomach when he does. He needs to talk to someone, but Adam has been gone more often than not lately and Aaron doesn’t feel right burdening him with his issues when he has so much on his plate. His mum is right out for obvious reasons, and so is Robert. He’s hardly spoken to Paddy in weeks. That leaves him one option; only one person that he’s willing to talk to.

It’s early and he’s enjoying a brew before heading outside; Kasim is sitting at the desk with his head tilted back and his eyes closed, his own mug steaming gently in front of him, hi-res vest already on. He’s been doing light scrapping for the last few days. He’s quick thinking and surprisingly wiry for someone who had been at death’s door not even a month before. He’s kept Aaron’s secret as far as he knows, even from Finn, who has taken to stopping by occasionally on his breaks from the B&B. Sometimes they leave together and go out for drinks after work. Aaron thinks with amusement that if the two of them continue on this path, they might actually start dating in a year or two. Still, Aaron likes him, and he’s trustworthy, and he really needs someone to talk to…

“I’m making a mistake aren’t I?” he asks.

Kasim opens his eyes and peers blearily at him. “Mistake?”

“Yeah.”

Kasim waits a moment, but Aaron’s throat closes on him. He doesn’t do this confiding thing, never has. He’s only ever been perfectly open with three people, and two of them have had to pry his secrets out of him more often than not.

“Right. A mistake. Well, I could have told you a long time ago that track pants and hoodies aren’t the last word in fashion, but it seems to work for you, so.”

“Hilarious,” Aaron says dryly, and Kasim laughs. Aaron smiles back despite himself, and Kasim looks away.

“You mean with the White kid,” he says, fiddling with his mug. “Lachlan, right?”

Aaron nods.

“Right. Well, do _you_ think that visiting him is a mistake?”

Aaron shrugs, biting at his lip. “I know that everyone else would think so.”

“ _Would_ think so?” Kasim echoes, then goes on before Aaron can formulate a reply. “Well of course they would. They want to look after you. But you’re the one who has to make the decision. Do you think it’s a mistake?”

Aaron shrugs. “It’s helping him.”

“And that’s great and all, but is it helping you?” Kasim leans forward, intent. “Because I’ll be honest: it doesn’t look like it. It looks like it’s doing the opposite.”

“I-“

“You have circles under your eyes. You almost fell asleep at the desk yesterday and honestly, I’m not exactly chuffed about you shifting anything heavy at the moment.” He shrugs. “If this is down to him, then yeah, you should stop. No point in losing sleep over it.”

Aaron shakes his head almost before he’s aware he’s going to. “No, it’s not that,” he says, then hesitates. He brings one of his hands to his mouth and starts biting at the side of his thumb, a habit he’s started since his nails are all already bitten down. If he’s not careful he’s going to bite right through the skin, but he can’t help it.

“You can tell me, you know,” Kasim says softly. “I’m here for you, Aaron.”

“Yeah,” Aaron says, looking down. “Thanks. But I-“

“Hey, no pressure,” his voice has returned to its normal volume, but there’s an oddly forced cheerfulness to it. “Just so you know you can talk to me.” He takes one last sip of his tea and makes a face, then sets his mug down. “So, scrapping?”

“Yeah, okay.” Aaron sets his own mug down and stands, heading for the door.

“Aaron.”

He turns back. Kasim is holding out a hi-res vest. “Can’t forget the final touch.”

Aaron half laughs. “Ah, right,” he says and reaches for it. Their fingers brush when he does, and Kasim pulls his hand back quickly, the vest nearly dropping before Aaron grabs it. He raises an eyebrow as he pulls it on, and Kasim looks away. Aaron shrugs and moves to leave the portacabin, but Kasim’s voice stops him again.

“About the Lachlan thing,” he blurts. “It can’t be just about helping him, alright? You’re a good bloke, Aaron, but he’s not worth making yourself ill. Not with what he’s done.”

Aaron stares at him. Kasim shrugs with a small smile. “Finn’s filled me in on a few things,” he admits. He reaches out and lays a hand on Aaron’s arm. “Just…take care of yourself first, yeah? Don’t let him run you into the ground.”

“I won’t,” Aaron promises, and shuts his mouth on the words that want to spill out. He can practically feel them crowding behind his teeth, but he swallows them down. He doesn’t know what it is about Kasim that makes him want to tell him things, but it feels disloyal, somehow. He just isn’t sure to whom.

*

“My mum is coming tomorrow,” Lachlan says, shifting uncomfortably. He wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, then bites his lip. “It’s the first time she’s been here since I got sent down.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why she’s even bothering; she’s probably glad to be rid of me.”  
  
“Lachlan.”  
  
“You know who else hasn’t been by? My grandfather. I guess he wanted rid, too. After all the things he said about how it wasn’t my fault. How they would stand with me. It was all lies. Maybe he was scared of me, too. Maybe they all were.”  
  
“Lachlan, enough.”  
  
“Rebecca either. Of course, _she_ wouldn’t, would she? She got what she wanted. I’m here, and she’s out there, probably having it off with Robert every chance they get –“  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
Lachlan does. He gapes at Aaron for a few moments, then looks down at the table, where his hands are once again twisting in the sleeves of his jumper. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice quiet. “I shouldn’t have said that.”  
  
Aaron doesn’t reply. His stomach feels like it’s full of snakes, writhing and biting. It hurts. His hands are in his lap; his fingers go to his ring and begin fiddling with it, twisting it back and forth.  
  
“Aaron –“  
  
“You don’t get to talk about him,” Aaron says, voice low. “If you do, I’ll go and I won’t come back. Leave him out of it.”  
  
“I won’t, I promise,” Lachlan says. He raises a hand to his mouth and begins to bite at his thumbnail. He looks a mess; eyes red rimmed and hair greasy. There’s a rash of pimples along his chin, and his eyes keep darting around the room. If Aaron didn’t know better, he’d think that the lad was on something. But he’s sure it’s nerves. No matter what he says, Lachlan cares what his mum thinks about him, and he’s nervous about her visit.  
  
Aaron sighs. “I know it’s hard, your mum seeing you like this,” he says gently. “But it’s a good thing, right, her wanting to come?”  
  
“She probably wants to verify I can’t get out,” Lachlan says, aiming for sullen and missing by about a mile. His face spasms and he blinks hard. Aaron feels a dart of sympathy. He tries to avoid feeling that way about Lachlan; despite wanting to help him Aaron still doesn’t _like_ him all that much, and feeling anything other than the mild distaste he’s settled into over the past few weeks is unsettling.  
  
He gives his ring one last twist and rests his forearms on the table, leaning forward slightly. “You know that’s not it. Your mum loves you, right. You know she does. Look at what all she did for you. It’s gotta be hard for her to think of you all banged up. Seeing you will be worse, but she’s coming because she loves you.” He shrugs. “It might be nice for you, having someone else visit.”  
  
“I don’t want her here,” Lachlan says, sitting back and crossing his arms.  
  
Aaron sighs heavily and closes his eyes, rubbing at his temples. Trust Lachlan to turn into a petulant child about this, he thinks. He rubs a hand down his face, eyes still closed, completely missing the calculating way that Lachlan looks at him.   
  
“D-do you really think she’s coming because she missed me?” he asks in a quiet voice.   
  
Aaron opens his eyes. Lachlan is slumped in his chair, arms crossed and head down. He’s biting his lip again, and Aaron realizes that he’s terrified. He feels another dart of sympathy. “Hey,” he says, and Lachlan looks up, eyes swimming. “Whatever you’ve done, she’s still your mum, and she still loves you. She kept loving you after…after Alicia, right? And after what happened with Lawrence? Of course she missed you.”  
  
“Yeah?” Lachlan perks up a bit, his face lightening with something like hope.  
  
“Yeah. ‘Course.” Aaron’s hand goes to his ring again and twists, twists. Lachlan’s eyes follow the movement. They flicker between Aaron's hands and his face, and he takes a breath, obviously gearing himself up for something.   
  
“I really am sorry,” he says, then hesitates, before blurting in a rush, “It’s just that I know what he’s like, he lies and cheats and you’re _good_ , you don’t deserve-“  
  
“I told you not to talk about him,” Aaron snaps. He stands up, fingers clenching into fists at his sides.  
  
“I know, I’m sorry, I just-“  
  
“No. I told you. It’s done. I’m done.” He turns to go.  
  
Lachlan rises too, fast, and grabs his arm. “No, Aaron, don’t –“  
  
Aaron yanks his arm out of Lachlan’s grasp. “Don’t touch me,” he hisses. “Don’t you _ever_ touch me. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to talk about him like you know him, like you know _us._ It’s none of your business and you’ll keep your nose out and your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you, you hear me?”  
  
Lachlan’s eyes are wide. He nods. “Yeah,” he says faintly, and Aaron nods. He can see one of the guards heading towards them over Lachlan’s shoulder, and he turns and walks away without bothering to reply. He barely makes it to the toilets before he's sick _._


	4. Chapter 4

He agrees to the purchase of Mill Cottage. He doesn’t want to, not at all, but his mum has laid down the law: Liv can no longer live in the pub. Her ready access to alcohol has become a problem, as she and Gabby have continued to spiral downward, even after the streaking incident. Chas is at her wit’s end, and she has had more than one screaming row with Liv recently. These rows always lead into Aaron’s inability to keep her in line, and that leads to even more fighting. Aaron wants to be more furious at Liv about all the trouble she’s causing, but he understands the temptation to follow your best mate even into self-destruction. Besides, he’s pretty much the only one who _isn’t_ mad at her right now, and he can’t put one more disappointed parental figure on her shoulders. Chas is barely speaking to either of them at the moment, and for some reason known only to him, Robert won’t even look at her. Liv claims not to know why either, and as she still has to be discouraged from going off at Robert at the slightest provocation Aaron doubts she cares. 

Even though Aaron has agreed to use Liv’s money to buy Mill Cottage, Robert no longer seems to be worried that they can’t afford it without that. Aaron doesn’t bother asking him why. He’ll probably be fobbed off with a vague answer, but the truth is that he doesn’t need to ask. He knows where Robert will get the money, should it come to that. He’s mentioned converting the extra space into flats – that had been the plan before the fire – and Aaron wonders how long it will take him to install Rebecca in one of them once they are finished.

Things aren’t going to get better. He understands that now. Robert is distant, uncommunicative. He isn’t sleeping well and what’s more, he hardly touches Aaron at all. Robert usually has a strong libido, but lately, nothing. Aaron is no idiot. He knows what that means. But even if he didn’t Rebecca’s smirks have grown more open, her comments more and more barbed, and the one time that Aaron had started to say something back Robert had stopped him with a hand on his arm. That is as clear a sign as anything.

He’s lost. Lost a game that he shouldn’t have to play and while part of him wants to fight, the rest of him is just too tired. All he’s been through with Robert, all he’s put up with, and it’s being taken away from him by a spoiled rich princess who’s probably never had to work for anything in her life. He’s done so much fighting for Robert and with Robert, he has no energy for it now. Not when he’s busy fighting everyone and everything else. Not when this sort of thing was supposed to have been knocked on the head ages ago. He keeps waiting for Robert to break it off with him, but he doesn’t, and Aaron can’t understand why he won’t. He wonders if maybe Robert is waiting for Aaron to be the one to pack them in so that he can feel better about running straight to her. Aaron hasn’t been able to go so far as to do it, but he’s taken to removing his ring before work in the mornings. He thought that he would never get used to having it on his finger, but now when it’s off he can’t help but rub at the empty spot constantly, which he knows will only draw attention to it if someone else is around. Thus far he hasn’t had to worry overmuch; he spends most of his time at the scrapyard with gloves on, and he always puts it back on after his evening shower, so he’s sure that no one has noticed it missing. He isn’t sure what he would say if anyone did. 

He hates being this pathetic, hates being the one who clings on in spite of knowing that things are done, but he can’t help it. Every day that Robert stays he feels a small flare of hope, but that is almost always extinguished by seeing the two of them together. And yet. Sometimes he’ll wake up in the night and Robert will be there, practically plastered to his back, clinging in a way he never has. And sometimes they’ll be sitting at the bar in the pub (on the increasingly rare occasions when Rebecca isn’t present) and Aaron will catch Robert looking at him like he used to look at him before, in the barn, the hospital. Like his entire world is wrapped up in Aaron. It keeps him hanging on when he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t, keeps him tethered to a life that he no longer fits. More and more lately he feels like everything is speeding past him and he’s just watching. All he does is go through the motions.

The agreement to buy Mill Cottage, for example. He knows that he’s not going to move in there, never will, but it’s a way to pacify his mum and Robert at the same time. Chas is thawing now that she has the promise of Liv being out from underfoot, and Robert can pretend that things are still moving towards a wedding and that Aaron is none the wiser about who it is he really wants. And it’s made Liv happy, even though she clearly doesn’t like the idea of Robert living with them.

He hasn’t visited Lachlan since their argument, but Lachlan has written. He addresses his mail to the scrapyard, which is weird but not something that Aaron is overly concerned about. The letters lie unopened in his desk. He isn’t sure if he will open any of them or not, isn’t sure if he wants to deal with whatever Lachlan has to say. He’s stretched tight, and he knows that it’s only a matter of time before he snaps. He just wishes he knew which direction he is going to snap in.

The only time he ever fully relaxes anymore is when he is working. Work is easy to deal with; no one there expects anything of him that he can’t give. No one forces him to talk. Kasim will shoot him concerned looks every once in a while, but he’s respected Aaron’s privacy and not pried beyond a general “all right?” every now and then. Aaron’s sure he’s noticed that he’s been coming in earlier and staying later, but he says nothing, and for that Aaron is grateful.

Finn has been by a lot of late, and Aaron thinks that it’s a good thing. There had been a rough patch for a bit when Kasim had discovered Finn’s lies at the hospital, but they seem to have moved past it. Aaron is happy for Finn, but a bit resentful that he is finding something like happiness when Aaron’s life is such a mess. He does his best to make himself scarce when Finn’s around, trying to give them space. He isn’t particularly keen on knowing how they are getting on.

Finn usually comes by around lunch, so it surprises him one day when Kasim asks him if he wants to grab a bite at the Woolie. He’s not been eating much lately, but chips don’t sound half bad, and he agrees.

When they arrive at the pub, they find themselves stuck in a corner booth behind one of the Christmas trees as the pub is full of the usual lunch crowd. Food smells waft through the kitchen, and for the first time in days Aaron feels a twinge of real hunger. Charity is manning the bar, and she gives Aaron an eyebrow raise when he puts in their orders but he walks off before she can say anything. He doesn’t need or want her opinions.

For a while they sit in silence, but then Aaron can’t help himself. “So no Finn today, eh?” He’s usually not so nosy. Mostly he figures if people want to tell him their business they will, and he’s content to stay out of it, but it’s better than focusing on his own problems. And Kasim’s a mate, as is Finn…sort of.

Kasim shrugs, not meeting Aaron’s eyes. “We don’t have to see each other every day.”

“I didn’t say you did, I just-“

“Look, I didn’t come here to talk about Finn, so can we drop it?”

Aaron blinks, a little taken aback. Kasim is usually open and easygoing. He’s never heard him speak so sharply. Then again, he’s never tried prying into his love life before. “Yeah, sure,” he says with a shrug. “None of my business.”

Kasim sighs. “No, it’s fine. I’m being a prat.”

“That’s not being a prat,” Aaron says, amused. “Trust me, that’s not even close.”

He gets a smile for that, before Kasim frowns and leans forward slightly. “The thing is –“

“Two burgers and chips,” Vic says, setting plates down in front of them. She straightens, smiling. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” she says. “Adam said you’re going to be helping at the farm this weekend.”

“Yeah, I thought he’d appreciate the extra hand.” Aaron loves Vic, but right now he doesn’t want to talk to her. She can always be counted on to bring up the wedding when she sees him, and as he’s growing more and more certain that there isn’t going to be one he’s not exactly willing to discuss it.

He goes to fiddle with his ring, and it’s only when his fingers encounter bare skin that he remembers that he didn’t even put it on this morning. It’s sitting in its box upstairs, lid closed, seemingly forgotten. Vic’s eyes fix on his hands and first they widen, then they narrow. She purses her lips for a moment, and Aaron waits for her to ask, but she doesn’t. Instead she gives him a bright, false smile and begins to back away, not meeting his eyes.

“Well, I can’t stand here chatting all day; it being lunch and all. Enjoy the food.”

Aaron watches her walk away, suddenly understanding that Vic doesn’t have to ask because she knows what’s going on. Of course she does; she’s closer to Robert than anyone. She’s never been dim, Vic, and she’s seen how things are. The tension that he’d lost with the morning’s work is back; he can feel his shoulders drawing up and his jaw clenching. The smell of the food is no longer appetizing; his throat closes and he knows he won’t be able to eat anything. Aaron tugs the sleeves of his jumper over his hands, hiding the lack of ring. Kasim watches, brow furrowed. He hasn’t touched his lunch, either, and after a few moments he gives a small sigh and goes to the bar, returning with two empty take away boxes in his hands.

“Let’s just take this back, yeah?” He begins scooping food into them without waiting for a reply, not that Aaron was planning on giving him one. “Ready?” he asks, and Aaron nods, then shakes his head.

“Actually, I have to run upstairs for a minute. You can wait in the back if you like.”

He runs up the stairs and grabs the ring box off of his desk. He opens it and his fingers brush against the ring, but then he hesitates.

He doesn’t want to put it back on.

The thought stops him cold. He’d taken the ring off this morning same as he’s been doing the past couple of days, telling himself as he always does that he’s doing it because of work, because the kind of job he has isn’t good for jewelry of any sort (and never mind that Adam always wears his ring at the yard and Aaron has been wearing his just fine for weeks now), but suddenly he can’t pretend anymore. Someone else actually seeing him without the ring has finally made him face up to the truth: he’s done. He can’t sit by and pretend anymore that things are fine. He won’t. He’s better than what Robert is doing to him, and he won’t sit and pine and wait for Robert to come to his senses.

He closes the box and sticks it in the drawer of his desk with hands that only shake a little. Now that he’s finally let himself know what he’s going to do he feels a lot better, like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He’s not happy about it – he still loves Robert to a ridiculous degree, is still devastated that it’s ending this way – but it’s a relief to know which direction he’s going to move in.

Kasim is sitting on the sofa when he gets downstairs, looking uncomfortable. Robert is at the kitchen table, glaring at him. It’s unusual for him to be home during the day anymore – business meetings, or so he claims – and Aaron does a brief double take when he sees him. Robert catches this and his glare intensifies, only this time it’s aimed at Aaron.

“Something you want to tell me?” he bites out, and Aaron almost laughs.

He clenches his jaw against the urge to be petty and replies as politely as he is able. “Nothing to tell. Just stopped in for a bite.”

“Pub’s the other way.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, I live here. Reckon that means lunch is where I say it is.”

Robert’s jaw twitches. “How cosy,” he says flatly.

“Well, you’d know all about that,” Aaron says. Then, to Kasim, “We should be going. Still have a lot of work to get done.”

Kasim gets up, looking supremely awkward with their take away in his hands. He begins to move out towards the pub, but Aaron shakes his head. “Let’s go out the back way,” he suggests. “If me mum’s out there she’ll start pecking my head, and I can’t deal with that right now.”

“Yeah, okay.” Kasim turns to Robert as if to say something, but Robert is back to glaring at him and he closes his mouth. He leaves without another word.

Aaron goes to follow him, but Robert’s voice stops him. “So what was the plan, bringing him here? Trying to make me jealous again? Some sort of pathetic attempt at payback?” The words are cruel, taunting, and Aaron knows that’s how he’s trying to sound as well. Maybe he even would sound that way to someone who doesn’t know him, but Aaron can hear the edge of panic underneath.

He lets Robert have his illusion though; is too weary of this row already to call him on his bullshit. He shrugs. “Sure. Whatever you like,” he says, and leaves, not bothering to look back.

He’s shaking when he gets in the passenger side of Kasim’s car. His eyes feel hot and his head is pounding. Kasim doesn’t say anything, just starts the car and drives. Aaron is grateful. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, trying not to think.

He’s so tired and worn down that the brief drive to the scrapyard is almost enough to lull him to sleep, but he wakes when the car stops. He rubs at his head a moment, then opens his eyes. Kasim has unbuckled but made no move to exit the car. Instead he is turned towards Aaron, looking at him with concern.

“All right?” he asks softly.

Aaron nods. “Yeah, just a headache.” He tries for a smile, but from the way that Kasim’s frown deepens, he doesn’t think it’s successful.

“You seem to get them a lot. Headaches, I mean.”

Aaron shrugs. He wants Kasim to spit it out already – he doesn’t appreciate the hedging.

Finally, he does. “If you want to talk-“

“I don’t,” Aaron says shortly.

“Right.” He doesn’t push. Aaron likes that about him. Kasim opens his mouth, hesitates, then shakes his head. “C’mon. There’ll be some paracetamol inside for your head, and then we can get to work.” 

*

He visits Lachlan that afternoon. He doesn’t really want to, had meant it when he said he wouldn’t come back, but he doesn’t want to go home either, and the prison is the last place that anyone will think to look for him. And he would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the way that Lachlan’s face lights up when he sees who his visitor is. Aside from Kasim, no one’s been happy to see him in a while.

“You came back,” is the first thing that he says when he’s seated, and he isn’t smiling exactly but the corners of his mouth are turned up.

Aaron twitches his own mouth up briefly. “I wasn’t going to,” he admits, then shrugs.

“Did you get my letters?”

“Yeah.”

Lachalan looks at him closely for a minute. “But you didn’t read them,” he says.

Aaron shakes his head. “No.” He doesn’t bother to elaborate. Let him think what he wants about what Aaron did with them. There’s something about the intent way that Lachlan is looking at him that makes him uncomfortable, and he shifts uneasily on his chair.

Lachlan’s face works for a moment, and then he says, “My mum visited. She cried.” He tugs at the hem of his jumper. “It was awful. She told Diane that she was scared of me, did you know? Diane was the one holding a gun and I was the one she was afraid of.” His eyes are red and raw looking; he rubs at them with closed fists like a small child. “I think that’s when I knew that things weren’t going to get better, you know? When my own mum admitted that she was afraid of me.”

“Well, you-“

“I know that I deserve it,” Lachlan cuts him off agitatedly. He runs a hand through his hair; it’s getting long and the strands look lank and slightly greasy. “I brought it on myself; everyone has told me that enough. You, mum, Dr. Lumley.” His shoulders slump and he hunches in on himself, his gaze falling to the table, where he’s drawing absent patterns with one of his hands. “And you’re right,” he says, voice soft, vulnerable. “You’re all right.” He gives a wet sounding laugh. “I’ve been awful. I _am_ awful. I don’t know how any of you can stand me.”

Aaron stares at him. It’s easy to forget, sometimes, that Lachlan is only sixteen. He’s still a kid, really, and he’s spent his whole life being taught that his actions won’t have consequences. Aaron wonders if this is the first time he’s learning otherwise. Aaron thinks of Liv, about how she’d posted the video of Gabby without pausing to think. He thinks about what a terror he used to be. It could be either of them where Lachlan is now; at one point it _was_ Aaron. 

Lachlan’s twisting his hands together again, and now Aaron can see grooves in the skin from where his nails have bitten in. He reacts without thinking, reaching across the table and putting his hand on top of Lachlan’s, stilling his fingers. “Don’t do that.”

Lachlan’s hands stop moving instantly, and he looks up at Aaron with wide, startled eyes. Aaron pulls his hand back self-consciously, and Lachlan’s eyes follow the movement. He starts to say something but then stops and bites at his lip, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Aaron puts his hands under the table and Lachlan looks up. He looks almost happy; face flushed and mouth turned up at the corners.

“I’m trying.” He says. “I want to be a better person. For her. Because she still hasn’t given up on me.” He glances away, then says in a voice that’s nearly inaudible, “For you, too.”

Uneasiness prickles along Aaron’s spine, and he shakes his head. “Do it for yourself,” he says firmly. “Not for anyone else. Do it because _you_ want to change.” Unbidden, his mind turns to Robert, and he wonders not for the first time if that’s why he’s behaving so much like the man he used to be. Perhaps his changes were all for Aaron, and now Rebecca’s around to remind him of what he used to be he’s finding himself uninterested in keeping them up.

“That’s what mum said,” Lachlan says, and now he is smiling. Aaron thinks that there is something unsettling about that smile, then immediately chastises himself for it. He tells himself that it’s probably that Lachlan’s is a face that is clearly unused to smiling; he doesn’t think he’s ever seen the lad look happy.

“Well, she’s right,” he says. Lachlan’s smile widens a bit, and Aaron gives him a brief one back, tugging at the sleeves of his jumper. He’s fidgety, and wants to be gone. Coming here was a bad idea. He can’t deal with Lachlan like this, can’t give him the right advice when he isn’t even handle his own problems.

“Look mate, I came here to tell you that this is my last visit for a bit,” he says, and Lachlan’s happy look disappears, replaced with a frown. Aaron holds up his hand before he can say anything. “I’ve got some of my own things to sort; but when I do I’ll be back. Just keep trying with your mum. She wants to be here for ya; let her.”

Lachlan’s jaw twitches. He rolls his lips into his mouth, then asks in a small voice, “Can I write to you? I’ll send the letters to the scrapyard again so no one else has to see them.”

Aaron thinks about it for a moment. There’s a part of him that’s telling him to cut this off now, before Lachlan begins to think that he can rely on him. Before he makes Aaron responsible for his recovery. But then he really looks at him, and he can’t do it. Lachlan’s not a small kid - Aaron remembers the bulk of him pinning him down to the ground on the quarry, remembers how easy it had been for him to push him closer and closer to the edge - but he _looks_ it somehow, sitting in the chair in his prison clothes. Small. Vulnerable. Aaron sees that he’s tugged the sleeves of his jumper over his hands, notices how ragged the ends look, as if he’s been biting at them, and pity wells in him, forcing his qualms aside. Lachlan is alone. He’s done it to himself, that’s true enough, but Aaron knows that he would have done the same had he not had Paddy and Chas in his life. Had he not had Adam. All the people who forced him to straighten up and straighten out because they didn’t give up, refused to let him keep pressing the self-destruct button. He might not want Lachlan to rely on him, but he was the one who had shown up and let him think he could. He was the one who had begun these visits, and he can’t find it in himself to simply abandon the kid to his problems just because his own life is falling apart.

“Yeah,” he says, and knows he has done the right thing when Lachlan’s face lights up. “Yeah, alright.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who has commented and kudosed so far. I never thought that this would garner any interest at all so late in the game, and I'm immensely grateful to find out that isn't the case. :)

He doesn’t go home straight away. He can’t. He isn't quite ready to face Robert; hasn't yet managed to gear himself up for what he knows he has to do. Instead he stays out, goes to a pub nearby, drinks a pint in the corner and broods over his phone. He’s had one missed call from his mum, a couple of texts from Adam and a text from Kasim, and that is it. Nothing from Robert, not that Aaron really expected anything. He wonders briefly if he’s with Rebecca, but puts it out of his mind. Even if he is with her it doesn’t really matter, not any more. There’s no point torturing himself thinking about it.   
  
He doesn’t know what to expect when he does finally go home. He half-thinks that Robert will have left, packed his things and gone to her, and he doesn’t know how he feels when he sees Robert's car in its usual spot outside the Woolpack.   
  
His mum is at the bar. When she sees him she waves him over, and Aaron goes reluctantly. Things have been tense with her lately, and he’s not eager to have yet another row, especially not in a crowded pub.  
  
But it seems that Chas is gearing up for one anyway. “You’re back late,” is the first thing she says, and next to her Charity perks up.  
  
“Trouble in paradise again?” she asks, amused. “Robert’s been walking around with a right face on; what’s he done now?”  
  
Aaron clenches his jaw. “Mind yours,” Chas says, and glares until Charity walks away with a huff. She turns back to Aaron. “Sit,” she says, and with a sigh Aaron does.   
  
“Can I at least get a pint with the lecture?” he asks.   
  
Chas shakes her head, but grabs a glass and fills it from the tap. “No lecture,” she says, setting it down in front of him. “You wouldn’t listen anyway.” She gives him a small smile to show she means no offense. “You look like hell.”  
  
“Thanks.” Aaron fiddles with the pint glass. He’s doesn’t really want it, but the longer he takes down here the longer he can put off going upstairs. “Robert around?”  
  
“In the back. Charity wasn’t kidding; he’s been in a right state all afternoon. Did you two have another row?”  
  
Aaron just looks at her, and she sighs. “I know I haven’t been Robert's biggest supporter lately, but that’s because you’re my boy and when someone hurts you I want to tear them apart. But the two of you are going to be married. You have to start working things out instead of running away from them.”  
  
“You’ve changed your tune.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I’ve had some time to think on it, haven’t I? I’m not saying what he did was right, but it was only a kiss. There was a time when it wouldn’t have stopped at that. And he really loves you.” She smiles. “Anyone can see that.”  
  
Aaron gives her a small smile in return. For an instant he almost tells her that Robert’s a better liar than even she knows, but he stops himself before the thought is even fully formed. Better to let her find out later, once it’s finished. He can’t bear to upset her right now, not when they’ve had their first conversation without rowing in days.  
  
He stays downstairs for a bit longer, lingering over his pint and chatting with his mum in between punters. She’s keen on hearing the plans for Mill Cottage – they both have bad memories of that place but she is hopeful that with a bit of renovation it could be a very cosy home for them, and she has a lot of questions about how much of the space they are planning on converting into flats, and how long it will take before they can move in.  
  
“You just want us out from underfoot,” Aaron teases, and Chas laughs.   
  
“It will be much quieter without you lot, that’s for sure,” she agrees, then her smile fades. “The thought of you moving out is strange. I know it’s the best decision for all of us, but I’ll miss having you here all the time.” For just a moment she looks terribly sad, then she brightens. “But you aren’t going far. And you need your space. You can’t be married and still living with your mam.”  
  
“I guess not,” Aaron agrees. Just a few months ago he would have been ecstatic to be moving out, starting a life with Robert and Liv, their own little family unit. Now he just feels worn down and slightly ill. It’s all gone so wrong.   
  
“Well, you could sound a little more excited,” Chas says, and Aaron gives her a smile.   
  
“I am; I am. I just don’t like using his blood money, that’s all. I never did like it.”  
  
“I know, love. But at least it’s being used for something good. Something that is going to make all of your lives better.”  
  
“I know,” he says, although he isn’t sure that he does. Just the thought of touching that money makes him feel sick. He understands that it isn’t the same for Liv, and for that he is forever grateful. Gordon’s money will give her opportunities that she might not otherwise have, and he wouldn’t take that from her for the world. But he can’t shake the feeling that if he touches the money, he’s accepting what Gordon did to him. The problem is that he can’t see a way out of using it. Even without Robert and Mill Cottage, he and Liv have to move out, and without Robert’s help most of the financial burden will go on Liv. He hates that, but he knows that she won’t see it that way. He knows that she thinks that she buys them a place to live then he won’t be able to kick her out, and it makes his chest ache. All he wants is for her to understand that it doesn’t matter what she does. She’s theirs. But he doesn’t know how to do that. Loving her isn’t enough; telling her isn’t enough. She still won’t believe him and he’s at a loss for how to make her.   
  
It’s dark when he gets upstairs, and for a moment he thinks that Robert isn’t there, or has already gone to sleep. Then his eyes adjust and he makes out the figure sitting on the edge of their bed.  
  
“Bit dramatic, don’t you think? Sitting in the dark. How long have you been here like this?” He reaches out and turns on the light, blinking a bit against the sudden brightness.  
  
“A while,” Robert says, voice hoarse. He isn’t looking at Aaron; rather, his gaze is fixed on his hands, which are fiddling with something, turning it over and over. It’s too small and he’s moving too fast for Aaron to get a good look at it, but he doesn’t really need to. He can see the ring box lying open on his desk.

“Going through my stuff?” he asks mildly, stepping fully into the room and closing the door. If they are going to have yet another row he doesn’t need the entire pub hearing it.  
  
“I wouldn’t need to if you would talk to me,” Robert says, still not looking at him. “But then you might have to stop running, and we can’t have that.”  
  
Aaron clenches his jaw. “Do you see me running? No, this time you’ll be the one leaving.”  
  
At that, Robert finally lifts his head, and Aaron is taken aback by how worn he looks. His face is pale and drawn, with lines around his mouth that Aaron is sure weren’t there even a week ago, and his eyes are red rimmed and raw. He looks devastated.  
  
“You don’t mean that,” he says, and his voice matches his face.

  
Aaron bites his lip, and Robert’s face falls even more. “You do,” he says hollowly. He clenches his hands into fists. “I should have known. I should have known you’d do something like this. It’s you all over, isn’t it? You just-  
  
“Oh, and here it comes,” Aaron says, goaded.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Well, it’s what you do, isn’t it? Classic Robert. Mess up and then blame someone else for your mistakes.”  
  
“ _My_ mistakes? I’m not the one who’s been walking around pretending he’s not engaged so he can have it off with his new best mate!”  
  
“What?” Aaron stares at Robert, completely derailed for a moment. “Have it off with…you mean Kasim?”  
  
“Oh, _Kasim_ , is it,” Robert says, sneering. “And is _Kasim_ aware that you have a fiancé, or have you been lying to him as well?”  
  
“Have you lost it?” Aaron shakes his head. “Are you really trying to pretend that you’re not the one who’s been having it off behind my back? Really?” He gives Robert a disgusted look. “Just admit it.”  
  
“Admit what, Aaron? Because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Liar,” Aaron says, voice rising, and Robert flinches. He looks away, face twisting, and Aaron feels a sick sense of triumph. “Just give it up, Robert. It’s over.” As suddenly as it came, the triumph fades, leaving only sickness in its wake. Aaron’s shoulders slump and he runs a hand over his face, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t even know why you let it go on this long. It’s not as if there’s anything keeping you here.”  
  
“Stop it.”  
  
“No. No, I won’t. You could have ended this weeks ago. If you knew you wanted her, you should have just packed it in. It’s not like it was with Chrissie; there’s nothing here to hang on for. Y-“  
  
“Shut up!” Robert stands and crowds into Aaron’s space, looking furious. “You are _not_ nothing, stop it. I love you. I don’t care about money, and I don’t want anybody else. I told you.”  
  
“Right,” Aaron says tiredly. “And all this with Rebecca is what? In my head?”  
  
Robert hesitates, and Aaron nods. “That’s what I thought,” he says. “Look, Robert, it’s…well, no, it’s not fine. But I’m not going to kick off. Just go. Take some stuff now, and come back for the rest later.”  
  
“What? No.” Robert shakes his head. “I don’t want to leave. I’m not sleeping with Rebecca. I don’t want her; I haven’t wanted her in years. Aaron, I love _you_. I want _you_.” He starts to reach towards him, but Aaron slides out of his grasp. Robert gives him a long look, then sighs, backing away and sitting down on the bed. “Fine, alright. I’ll tell you. But you’re not gonna like it.”  
  
Aaron snorts. “Figured as much. Go on, then.” He crosses his arms and waits.  
  
“Liv vandalized Rebecca’s car.”  
  
Aaron’s arms drop and he gapes at Robert, caught completely off guard. “What?”  
  
“Yeah. Little animal really went to work. Broke her windows, slashed her tires and keyed the doors, put a nice little message in them. Don’t ask what it said.”  
  
“I can guess. When did this happen?”  
  
“Couple of weeks ago.” After she found out what had happened between Robert and Rebecca, Aaron takes that to mean. “But she forgot about the CCTV. It was all caught on camera.” Robert shakes his head. “Rebecca already took care of the damage but she still has the recording. So yeah, I’ve been playing up to her a bit. Trying to get her to trust me so I can get it.”  
  
“A bit?” Aaron asks, incredulous. “She’s practically moved in!”  
  
Robert’s mouth twitches. “That's taking it a bit far.”  
  
“Is it? Robert, she’s here all the time. And that’s not all of it; you know it isn’t. You never…you don’t...” _touch me_. He looks away. He can’t say it; just thinking the words makes him squirm.  
  
Robert seems to understand what Aaron’s not saying; he nods. “I know. But it’s not what you think, I swear. I haven’t been with anyone else. I just…you were upset about Rebecca, and then I was mad about Liv, and then I didn’t…you didn’t seem to want me around. I know why, now, I understand, but…you’re not sleeping with that guy from today? Casey, was it?”  
  
“Kasim, and of course I’m not.” Aaron rolls his eyes. “You know I’m not.”  
  
“He wants you to.”  
  
Aaron gives him a flat look. “This isn’t about me and Kasim. It’s about you and Rebecca.”  
  
“No, it’s about you and me. That’s it. Aaron, listen to me. Are you listening? Look at me,” Aaron does, reluctantly. Robert’s face is open, honest. His eyes don’t flicker once as he speaks. “I love you. And I want you. Just you. And I may have been an idiot recently –“  
  
“Bit more than that.”  
  
“-but I haven’t cheated on you. I haven’t, and I won’t. And I’m sorry. I should have told you what was going on from the start. But I didn’t want you to worry, and I thought I could handle it on my own. You’ve been going through so much with her already; I didn’t want to put even more on you.”  
  
“Yeah well you should’ve anyway.”  
  
“I know, and I will from now on. That is, if you still want to marry me.” Robert smirks a bit, and Aaron can tell that he’s going for cocksure, but he can’t quite get there. Aaron feels something inside of him twist painfully, and he moves to sit next to Robert on the bed.  
  
“Of course I do,” he says softly. “And maybe I should have said something, I just...” He wants to say more, wants to tell Robert how he’d felt, watching the two of them grow closer while Robert shut him out. Wants to admit that part of his problem is how _right_ the two of them look, with their perfect blond hair and their stupid, perfect smiles. How afraid Aaron is that she can give Robert what he can’t. But as always the words get stuck somewhere between his throat and his mouth, and he doesn’t say anything despite feeling like they’re choking him. Instead he tugs his ring out of Robert’s fingers and puts it back on, swallowing hard around all the things he knows he should say.  
  
Robert takes his hand and runs his fingers over the ring. “Please don’t do that again,” he says quietly. “I couldn’t handle it.” Aaron rolls his eyes slightly, and Robert gives the hand he’s holding a squeeze. “I’m serious. I can’t deal with losing you Aaron; please stop making me.”  
  


“Oi, I thought you said you did this yourself.”  
  
“And I thought you said that you should have talked to me about what you were thinking,” Robert says.  
  
Aaron nods. “I might’ve said something like that, yeah. But right now I don't really want to talk.”

Robert gives him a slow smile, eyes lighting up. “Oh?” he asks, and Aaron leans forward to kiss him before that smile can fade, wanting to taste it.

Robert makes a soft sound against his mouth and kisses back hard, hands coming up to frame Aaron’s face, and the kiss morphs from sweet to something far less so. Robert’s hands begin to move, and it feels like they’re everywhere at once: in Aaron’s hair, under his jumper, between his legs. “Off, get it off,” he says, and begins tugging at Aaron’s clothes.

Aaron laughs against Robert’s mouth and stills his hands, pulling back a bit. “Okay, right, calm down.”

Robert stares at him incredulously. “Calm down?” he asks. He’s already removed his own shirt and is working on his trousers. “It’s been forever, I want you now, c’mon.”

“Could have had me any time you wanted,” Aaron says, but does as Robert wants and pulls his jumper over his head. Robert’s hands are already on his pants, trying to tug both them and his underwear off. Aaron laughs. “Shoes,” he says, “I’ve got me shoes, hang on.” He kicks them off and lean’s back, lifting his hips off of the bed to help the pants removal. Robert makes a triumphant noise as he divests him of the rest of his clothing. He tosses the pants to the floor and pounces, going straight for Aaron’s neck. His lips find that spot, the one that always makes Aaron a little weak, and he can’t help the small moan that he lets out. He feels Robert smile just before he bites that same spot, hard, and this time the noise that Aaron makes isn’t quiet at all. He jams a fist into his mouth to muffle it, mindful of who might be there to hear.

Robert gives a low laugh against his neck, and rolls his hips in a slow grind against Aaron’s. “You know, once we move we can be as loud as we want,” he murmurs. He slides a hand down and grips Aaron’s thigh, pushing it up so that he can get a better angle as he starts to thrust against him in earnest.

Aaron’s head lolls back. It’s ridiculous; a little bit of groping and some grinding and he’s about to shoot like a teenager. His only consolation is that Robert isn’t faring much better, if the steady moans he’s muffling into Aaron’s neck are anything to go by. This first round isn’t going to last very long; already they’re both moving erratically, practically starving for it. He wraps his other leg around Robert’s and uses it to press them harder together, and Robert pulls his mouth from Aaron’s neck with a loud groan. Aaron smiles smugly. “I’m not the one who has trouble being quiet,” he says, half moaning the words, then Robert’s mouth finds his and he twists his hips just right, and Aaron can’t be bothered to care overmuch about who might be listening.

Later, they lie together on the bed, sore and spent and slightly sticky. Aaron feels pleasantly drowsy, thinks that he might be able to get a good night’s sleep for the first time in weeks. Robert rolls so he’s lying half on top of him and cups his face, giving him a long kiss, then gets his arms around him and just holds him tightly, saying nothing.

Tears prick Aaron’s eyes and he clings back just as hard, finally admitting to himself just how relieved he is that he hasn’t lost Robert after all. There’s still the smallest doubt in the back of his mind, a whisper that he will never be enough, not for Robert, not for anyone, but he stamps it out with extreme prejudice. It won’t stay away, he knows – he’s always going to be a bit insecure, always going to struggle with the belief that he’s good enough – but he also knows that he has to trust Robert. He has to trust that Robert means it when he says he loves him, that there’s no one else. If he can’t do that, then he might as well end it now.

The thought sends an arc of panic through him and he knows that he can’t do that, for all he’d been ready to that afternoon. Not if Robert’s telling him the truth. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath, tightening his arms around Robert and hooking his chin over his shoulder.

“I keep thinking that we started out as an affair,” he says quietly, forcing the words past the lump in his throat. Robert tenses, starts to pull back, but Aaron shakes his head and holds on tighter. He can’t do this if Robert’s looking at him. After a moment Robert sinks back down, turning his face into Aaron’s neck. Aaron takes another breath. “You were with Chrissie and you were with me, and neither of us really had you. Neither of us was enough. And I know you say it’s different now, but I can’t stop thinking that you cheated on Chrissie with her, too. And I can’t give you what she can.” And that’s it. That’s all he can get out. He feels small and stupid and scared, and he wants more than anything to slide out from under Robert’s weight and go somewhere else until he can forget what he’s just revealed.

Robert shifts and lifts his head from Aaron’s neck. “Look at me,” he says softly. A hand cups Aaron’s cheek and turns his face towards him. “Aaron, c’mon, look at me.” Reluctantly, Aaron opens his eyes. Robert’s face is open and honest, and his own eyes are glistening. “I love you. I don’t know why it’s different with you; I only know that it is. I don’t want anyone else. And yeah, I have a history with Rebecca. Yeah, I cheated on Chrissie with her and I let her think that it was more than it was. But she wasn’t enough; even then she wasn’t close to enough. You are.”

Aaron looks away, and Robert sighs. “I don’t know what I can do to make you believe me.”

Aaron shakes his head. “I do believe you. Or I want to. But…there’s always going to be this part of me that’s like this. That’s what I tried to tell you. I’m never going to be easy to deal with, Robert.”

“And I told you I don’t want easy. D’you think I’m easy to deal with? After everything we’ve been through? After these last weeks?” he shakes his head. “You’re it, alright? Even if there was someone who came close, it would still be you. There’s no one else, not for me. Not anymore.”

“I believe you,” Aaron says. “I do. And I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Robert grins suddenly, his face lighting up with amusement. “Besides, if you ended it I’d wind up as pathetic as Cain, and I don’t think I’d be able to forgive you for that.”

“Oh, come off it.” Aaron rolls his eyes and pushes at Robert, trying to roll him off.

Robert refuses to be rolled. He laughs. “I’m serious! I’d buy a caravan and park it at the scrapyard, then sit in there and pine away like the saddest sack in the world. Well, second saddest.”

“Oi, that’s my uncle you’re taking the piss out of,” Aaron says. He’s trying to sound stern but his mouth is twitching. Robert sees this and makes a delighted noise. He reaches out and tickles Aaron’s sides until he’s laughing too, and squirming underneath him, trying his best to get away. Robert’s hands slow, then stop, simply resting against his sides. He tilts his head and kisses him, sweet and slow, and Aaron feels him harden against his thigh. He gives an amused huff and reaches down, grinning when Robert thrusts into his hand.

“Again?” he asks, half incredulous, half admiring. He knows that Robert has a strong libido, but he has to admit that after all the sex they’ve had tonight, this is impressive.

Robert’s hips still. His hands leave Aaron’s sides and come up to cradle his face, and he gives him a smile so fond that it’s almost painful to look at. “Always.”


	6. Chapter 6

He sleeps better than he has in weeks. He is still a little sore when he wakes, but otherwise he feels pretty great. Robert is still sleeping; his face is smashed into his pillow and he’s drooling a bit. Aaron can’t help grinning at the sight; he gets his phone and snaps a picture before getting up for a shower.

He runs into Liv just outside the bathroom. She takes one look at him and wrinkles her nose. “Oh, gross. You two back on then?” her lip curls. “After what he did?”

Aaron crosses his arms. “You’re one to talk,” he says.

Liv rolls her eyes. “Oh, God, are we back on that? I thought it was sorted.” Aaron just looks at her, waiting, and after a moment her eyes widen with realization. “Oh. That.”

“Yeah, that. What were you thinking, Liv? Doing that to her car…that’s vandalism. You could have been in serious trouble if she’d reported you.”

Liv crosses her arms and glares at him defiantly. “She deserved it. They both do, after what they did. They hurt you, and everyone just let ‘em get away with it.”

“Liv.”

“You should have chucked him. You just let him make a mug of you. Someone had to do something.”

“Not you, though. Look, what Robert did was stupid. He knows that he messed up, and if I wanted to make him pay for it, I would. I don’t need you fighting my battles for me. I need you to be a kid and stop getting yourself into the kind of trouble that involves the police.”

Liv looks down at the floor, jaw working mulishly. “They can’t prove it was me; no one saw.”

“No one needed to; they have CCTV. Rebecca has the recording; she can turn you in any time she wants.”

Liv’s eyes fly up to meet his, and now doesn’t look defiant at all; she looks scared. “I didn’t know.”

“’Course you didn’t, and that’s why you can’t _do_ things like that.” Aaron pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m gonna sort it, but you have to promise me it won’t happen again. I’m serious, Liv.”

She bows her head. “I promise,” she says quietly, then, “Are you going to send me to back to mum?”

“No. Hey, no.” He bends a bit so that he’s at her level, waiting until she meets his eyes. “I said I wanted you here and I meant it. I’m not going to send you back. But if you keep on like you are, I might not have a choice. CPS has already been by once; if they think I’m not fit to take care of ya they’ll send ya back. I won’t have any say in it.”

Liv swallows hard. For the first time, she seems to understand just how badly she’s messed up. “I’m really sorry,” she says. “I’ll do better. I will.”

“I know you will,” Aaron says, then reaches out and pulls her into a hug. She hugs back hard, clutching at the back of his shirt, then pulls away, once again wrinkling her nose.

“Ugh. No offense, but you really need a shower.”

When he gets back into the bedroom, Robert is awake. “C’mere,” he says, voice soft. Aaron steps over and lets Robert tug him down into a kiss. Robert gives him another tug and he falls forward, giving Robert the momentum he needs to topple him onto the bed. “Mm, you smell nice,” he says, running his nose along Aaron’s neck.

Aaron laughs. “Took a shower,” he says, squirming away. “And you should too, mate.”

“Don’t want to,” Robert says, grabbing him and pulling him back down on the bed. He rolls on top of him and runs a hand through his hair. “Want to stay here with you.”

Aaron shakes his head, but he doesn’t try to get away. He runs his hands lightly along Robert’s sides and is rewarded with a slight shudder, Robert’s eyes going half-mast. “I have work.”

“So do I, but I’d rather be here.” He leans down and nuzzles at Aaron’s jaw before kissing him, hands cupping the sides of his face. Aaron opens for him and Robert slides his tongue into his mouth with a soft moan, his body melting into Aaron’s. Aaron drags his hands up and down Robert’s flank over and over again, soft. 

They stay like that for long moments, just kissing, and then Robert pulls back. “Skive off, c’mon. We can stay in bed all day; I’ve missed you and I know you’ve missed me.”

Aaron sighs. He’d like to, of course he would, but “They’d never leave us alone,” he says. “We’d have someone in here every five minutes, just checking in.”

Robert sighs too, dropping his head onto Aaron’s shoulder. “Yeah.” Then he brightens. “I could book us a hotel.”

“Or we could try saving a bit of money. You know, for our new place and all,” Aaron says with a laugh. Robert rolls off of him, pouting, and he sits up, getting off the bed to grab a pair of socks. Sitting back down on the edge, he starts putting them on. “Should be back by tea time; what do you fancy?”

There’s a small rustle as Robert sits up too, and then he hooks his chin over Aaron’s shoulder. “Dinner in the pub?”

“Works for me.” Aaron starts on his shoes. “Hey. What say when we move into Mill Cottage, we take a day off and just spend it in bed?”

“Might be a while before that happens; it needs a lot of work.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be something to look forward to. Besides, once Liv kips off to school there won’t be anyone there to bother us.” He lowers his voice. “We’ll have the place all to ourselves.”

Robert kisses the side of his neck; Aaron can feel his smile. “I’ll have to make sure we start renovating sooner than later, in that case.” Aaron turns his head to watch as he settles back down against the pillows. “You sure you can’t stay? I promise to make it worth your while.”

Aaron looks at the clock and bites his lip, considering. Robert grins widely and reaches for him as Aaron toes his shoes back off. “Half an hour,” he concedes, letting Robert tug his shirt over his head. “But then I really have to go, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Robert agrees, pulling him down. “Half an hour; promise.”

He gets home that night later than he’d planned, having had to work over to make up for the hours missed that morning. He’s tired and sweaty but pleased. He can’t help but think of how scared he’d been of starting the business; how worried he’d been that it was going to fail. Only part of it had been about Robert; even without the danger of losing him he’d have been terrified, sure it wouldn’t work out. What had he and Adam known about scrapping, after all? How could they turn something like that into a success, two ex-cons who hadn’t a lick of business sense between them? And now here they are, with the scrapyard doing so well that missing a few hours in the morning means making them up that night.   
  
He’d texted Robert when he left, and he’d said that he’d order him some dinner and a pint, so when Aaron heads into the pub he’s pleased to see Robert sitting at the table with two pints and plates in front of him. He’s less than happy to see Rebecca White standing next to the table talking to him. Aaron stands at the entrance and watches. He can’t hear what they are saying, and he can’t see Rebecca’s face from where he is standing, but he can see Robert, and what he sees bothers him.   
  
He looks tense and unhappy, his body stiff and straight where he would normally slouch or sprawl, and his face is tight and drawn. A muscle keeps twitching in his cheek. Aaron sees all this and wonders if he’d been looking this way the whole time. How had he missed it?  
  
Robert’s eyes flick towards him; they find him and Aaron can actually see some of the tension leave his body; his shoulders drop slightly and his face softens; his eyes light up and his mouth twitches upward in a brief smile.   
  
Aaron returns it automatically, and even more of the tension drains from Robert’s body. Rebecca turns and sees him; she says something to Robert and then makes her way over, stopping to give Aaron a bright, smug smile.  
  
“Robert was just informing me that I’m intruding on dinner. My apologies. Have a good evening.” She makes as if to skirt around him but he puts a hand up.  
  
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”  
  
“Did you? What about?” she arches an eyebrow and gives him a look that clearly communicates how little she thinks that they could have to discuss.   
  
“You know.”  
  
Rebecca studies him a moment, then her lips press together briefly. “He told you.” She gives him a small smile. “He must have mentioned then, that the damage has been taken care of, so if you’re about to offer there’s no need.” She shrugs. “While I must admit the method of revenge was a bit extreme I understand the impulse. Was that all?” she makes as if to move around him again and again Aaron puts up his hand.   
  
“The recording.”  
  
“Oh, that. I would have given it to Robert, had he asked for it, but he never did. I suppose he thought it didn’t matter much. Or perhaps he forgot. I’m sure you know how easily he gets distracted.”   
  
Aaron feels the barb hit and in spite of himself his eyes flick to Robert, who’s watching with narrowed eyes. His gaze is fixed on Aaron’s face and he’s perched on the edge of his chair, ready to spring up at the slightest sign of trouble, and seeing that helps to calm Aaron. He looks back at Rebecca, who’s smirking a bit, pleased that she’s hit a nerve.   
  
He shrugs. “I’m asking, then. Will you give it me?”  
  
“I don’t see why not.” She starts to reach for her purse, then stops, shaking her head. “Except I don’t actually have it on me.”  
  
“I can come by and collect it.”  
  
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. You’re not exactly popular with my family right now; I can’t imagine they’d take well to seeing you.”   
  
“Then you bring it here.”   
  
“Yes, well. I have to say that I’m not sure that I should hand it over to you, if I’m honest. I may need it, just in case something else sets your sister off. She's a bit…volatile, isn’t she?” She gives a little shrug of her own. “Consider it an insurance policy; I’ll only use it if I have to. Enjoy your dinner.” She steps around Aaron, and this time he lets her go.   
  
He’s disappointed but not surprised. He hadn’t really expected her to give up the recording, but figured it was worth the try. The idea of dinner is no longer appealing to him; he signals to Robert that he’s heading to the back and heads through, sitting on the sofa and rubbing at the bridge of his nose. A few moments later Robert follows him. He sits down next to Aaron and offers him a beer; Aaron takes it with a grateful smile and takes a long drink. “Cheers for this.”   
  
“What happened?” Robert asks, looking concerned. “Did she say something to upset you?”  
  
Aaron studies him a moment. “No. What did she say when you asked for it?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“The recording. What did she say when you asked for it?” He hesitates. “You did ask for it?”  
  
Robert gives him a dirty look. “Of course I did. She told me that she wanted to keep it. As insurance.” He shakes his head. “What do you think, Aaron? That I just went on being mates with her and let her keep it? When I already told you that I’ve been trying to get it off of her?”  
  
Aaron shrugs, looking away. “No, but then she said some stuff, and I just thought…”  
  
“Of course she did; she’s a vindictive cow.” He sighs. “You said you believed me.”  
  
“I do. No, hey, I do.” Aaron reaches out and nudges at Robert’s arm. “She said the same thing to me, about insurance.”  
  
“She’s not going to give it up, not when it’s useful.” He frowns. “I don’t get it, though; she never used to be like this. A bit wild, yeah, okay, but this? It’s nothing like the Bex I knew.”  
  
Aaron shrugs. “People change,” he says. “You did.”  
  
Robert grins at him. “Had to win you ‘round somehow, didn’t I?” He nudges Aaron’s foot with his and keeps it there.  
  
“So, what, you’re saying it’s my fault?”  
  
“Definitely.”  
  
“You’re welcome, then.”  
  
Robert laughs, and leans in for a soft kiss. Aaron kisses him back briefly and pulls away, but not far.   
  
“Want to take this upstairs?” Robert askes, and Aaron smiles.   
  
“Yeah, in a minute. But first, I need your help.”  
  
“Anything.”  
  
Aaron takes a breath. “I need you to help me get into Home Farm without being seen.”  
  
“Yeah, alright.”  
  
Aaron stares. “Seriously?”  
  
“I said anything.” Robert shrugs. “I thought it might be something like that. I’m not daft, you know.”  
  
“Not going to try to talk me out of it?”   
  
“Would you listen if I did?” Aaron shakes his head and Robert smiles. “Didn’t think so. But you have to be careful, do you understand? You can’t help Liv if you get banged up.” His smile fades. “I should do it.”  
  
“You can’t. You know you can’t. Rebecca’s practically glued to your side; she’ll be ‘round like she always is and if she can’t find you she’s bound to know something’s up. She doesn’t see me as a threat; she barely notices me at all. I can get in and out and then we can move on with our lives.”  
  
“Okay. Okay. Then pay attention.” Robert leans forward and lowers his voice. “Their CCTV set up has three blind spots. The last is the largest but it’s a bit tricky; you’ll have to park your car a mile or two out...”


	7. Chapter 7

In the end, the hardest part turns out to be avoiding the CCTV, and with Robert’s directions, it really isn’t hard at all. Once he’s in it’s a matter of finding the recording, which turns out to be sitting on top of the vanity in Rebecca’s room, tossed casually aside. Aaron could laugh at how naïve of Rebecca it was to leave it out like that, but he supposes it would never occur to her that she might have to actually worry about Aaron, when she had Robert on such a nice, tight leash. Or perhaps she hadn’t had time to think of how Aaron, with his record, might react to finding out what she’d been up to. He knows that she’d believed that Robert would try to handle it on his own – she has him sussed that far – but there's no way that she could know much about him, or about how he and Robert work together.  
  
Being in Home Farm again is odd, to say the least. He’d been there several times while the Whites occupied it, and he’d never felt comfortable. As he moves through it yet again it seems to him that he can hear faint echoes of his past visits: the sound of Ross banging through drawers and smashing objects, looking for the biggest payout he could find. Echoes of his and Robert’s laughter as they’d chased each other up the stairs, eager to get to bed, to be together again after such a long time without each other. Chrissie’s screams ringing in his ears as he’d strode down the walkway, tears drying on his cheeks and sour triumph in his heart. And the whisper of Lawrence telling him that people don’t change, not really. Aaron shrugs the memories off and grabs the small disc, shoving it into his pocket and hurrying down the stairs, wanting nothing more than to be gone.  
  
He’s nearly down when he hears voices outside. He freezes, eyes wide and fixed on the door, as he sees the knob start to turn. The door begins to swing inward, and Aaron springs into action, moving back up the stairs as quickly and quietly as possible, heart in his throat. He enters the first door he sees and feels a hysterical laugh rise in his throat when he realizes that he’s landed back in Chrissie’s bedroom, the bedroom that she used to share with Robert. The bedroom he’d also shared with Robert for one week what seems like a lifetime ago.   
  
Feet are on the stairs and he can hear the faint sound of someone talking. The voice is too light to be a male but he can’t make out whose it is; he just hopes it isn’t Rebecca's. He's not sure where the owner of the voice is heading, but he's exposed. He needs to hide, and fast. He moves quickly across the room to the closet, sliding inside and shutting it closed just as Chrissie’s door opens. Aaron sees her shadow moving around through the door; she’s speaking as she enters and he now recognizes the voice as Chrissie's. Aaron lets out a small, noiseless sigh. Better her than Rebecca but still unfortunate. When no one answers her voice Aaron realizes that she must be on her mobile.   
  
“…cards but no cash, and you know that they only accept cash at the prison. No, I didn’t get far; just outside the village. I’m going to grab my purse and I’ll be off. Are you actually going to make it this time? I don’t mean to be pushy but I really think he’d like to see you…he was so upset when you didn’t make it last week, you should have seen his face…Of course he knows you care about him, but Dr. Lumley says that he’ll make more progress if we’re both there…he’s been doing wonderfully, he says, really trying, but more positive reinforcement can only help. And he looks thin.” She strides towards Aaron’s hiding space and he backs away rapidly, turning and scanning around for a likely hiding spot. The closet is big even for a walk-in; towards the back he spies a rack full of evening wear. He slides behind the dresses as Chrissie stops in front of the closet door. “Well, of course they feed him, dad, but that doesn’t mean he has to eat. You know what Lucky’s like; he’s sensitive. He shouldn’t be in that place.”   
  
She opens the door and steps inside. Aaron makes out her shape through the clothes and sees her turn to the left, where there are several handbags hanging. She rummages in one and comes out with a wallet. Chrissie gives it a cursory glance through and then walks back out of the closet, leaving the door open. “He’s terrified, and he’s trying to hide it. Who knows what goes on in there? Sure, he puts on a brave face when he sees me, but I can tell that something’s wrong. This is all down to Robert. Rebecca never would have had the nerve to try anything on her own. That snake got her to do his dirty work. If anything happens to Lucky, I swear I’ll make him pay. He thinks there’s nothing I can do to break him but he’s not…” her voice trails off as she exits the room and heads down the stairs, and the only sound Aaron is left with is the ringing in his own ears. The venom in her voice when she’d mentioned Robert…he shudders. He knows what she did to Donny; Robert had told him. He'd acted amused, but Aaron could tell that her ruthlessness had made him uneasy, even as dodgy as he could be. The one thing guaranteed to set her off in a big way is Lachlan, but they hadn’t let that stop them. And if they had to do it all over again, he knows that they would do the same. Only perhaps Robert would be smarter than to lead Rebecca on again.   
  
He waits a few minutes, but when he hears no further sounds he gets out of there fast. One scare is more than enough.

He doesn’t say anything about what he overheard while at Home Farm; he’s pretty sure that most of what Chrissie was saying was anger talking. No need making Robert worry. They do watch the recording; Aaron half sure that he’ll have grabbed something else by mistake. He had no way to check and that is the way that their lives seem to work. But no, it is what he thought: a recording of Liv sneaking onto the Home Farm grounds just after sunset and making quick work of Rebecca’s car.   
  
“At least she was smart enough to leave the smashing for last,” Robert observes as the Liv on the recording scarpers, lights and voices coming from the direction of the house.   
  
Aaron gives him a look. “Don’t let her hear you say that; she doesn’t need any encouragement.”  
  
Robert shakes his head. “Not encouragement, just common sense. It’s not like I agree with what she did.” He tilts his head towards the screen. “Still your little bodyguard.”  
  
“I don’t need one,” Aaron says, offended. “I can take care of myself, you know. I was handling it.”  
  
“Yeah, handling it by trying to break things off; I think I prefer the vandalism.” Robert reaches out and squeezes Aaron’s knee to take the bite out of the words, then ejects the recording from his laptop. “At least this is over,” he says, holding it up.  
  
Aaron nods. “Yeah,” he agrees. “And you won’t have to play nice with Rebecca anymore. Unless you want to?” he doesn’t mean for it to turn into a question, but he can’t quite help the way that his voice turns up at the end.   
  
Robert gives him an unimpressed look. “You keep telling me you’re not an idiot and then you say things like that. D’you think that I want to go near her after this?” He snaps the disc in half with a gleeful smile. “And now it’s done.” He snaps the halves into fourths, then gets up and tosses them in the bin. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel like celebrating,” he says. “Fancy a pint?”  
  
“Go on, then,” Aaron says, closing Robert’s laptop. “I’ll just nip upstairs and put this away.”   
  
When he gets back downstairs, Rebecca White is standing in his living room.  
  
“You’re not supposed to be back here,” he tells her, frowning. “How did you get through?”  
  
“I know it was you,” she says, voice shaking. She’s furious; face flushed and lips in a tight line, hands clenched into fists at her sides.   
  
“Did you sneak in?”   
  
“I said, I know it was you.”  
  
Aaron sighs. “Know it was me who what? Was upstairs? Well spotted, but as I live here, not very impressive, is it?”  
  
“Don’t play dumb, although I can understand how you might not be able to help it. I know you broke into Home Farm.”  
  
“Did I? How do you figure?”  
  
“It’ll be on the CCTV.”  
  
Aaron gives an amused huff. “If you had that, you wouldn’t be here. If you had any evidence at all you’d have gone straight to the police. But you have nothing, so you’re here trying to get me to say something to incriminate myself.” He shrugs. “I have no idea what break in you’re talking about.”  
  
“You’re lying.” And now her entire body is vibrating with suppressed fury. “You broke in and you came into my room and you took –“ she cuts herself off, scowling harder than ever.  
  
“Yeah? What went missing, exactly? Money? Jewelry?” He shakes his head. “I have no need for any of that; I’ve got money of my own. Maybe not a lot, but I’m comfortable. And I’m no thief.” He gives her a hard look. “Your money means nothing to me.”  
  
“I can still call the police. They’d believe me. You have a record.”  
  
“Not for this. And you’d still have to prove it. Which you can’t, because I wasn’t there.”  
  
She laughs harshly. “You were. And they’ll believe me when I tell them what you took. What your sister did.”  
  
“Can’t prove that, either. No recording, car looks brand new.” He smiles. “And if it _was_ vandalized, it couldn’t have been Liv. She was with me; I have a pub full of witnesses.”  
  
She stares at him as if truly seeing him for the first time. “And if I call anyway?”  
  
“Fill your boots. In fact,” Aaron pulls out his mobile, “I could call them for you. If you like.” His finger hovers over the call button.   
  
She bows her head, shoulders slumping. Defeated. But when she looks back up at him her eyes are glittering and her mouth is curled into a sneer. “All this, for him,” she says, “when he’s just going to break your heart in the end. I don’t know what he told you, but believe me, that kiss never would have happened if he hadn’t encouraged it. If he hadn’t all but asked me to.” She shakes her head. “And maybe it wasn’t about me. But trust me, it had nothing to do with you, either. In the end, it was all about what Robert wanted. What Robert needed to do to get it. And if you think that you’re special, that he’ll stop himself from taking things farther with someone else next time he wants something because he loves you, then you deserve exactly what you get.”   
  
Aaron waits until the door has shut behind her before taking a breath. He’s trembling a bit; confrontation like that has never been what he’s best at, and he hadn’t been sure that she wouldn’t call the police anyway. She hadn’t been wrong; even with the lack of evidence she could make a lot of trouble for him. He runs a hand over his face and takes another breath.  
  
“Everything all right?” Robert asks, walking in from the pub, and Aaron opens his eyes.   
  
“Yeah, I’m good,” he smiles. “It just hit me that this really is all over.”  
  
Robert grins back. “Well I’ve got a pint waiting out here to celebrate that,” he says. “If you’re still up for it.”  
  
“’Course I am,” Aaron says, and when he steps up beside him Robert brings up a hand and gives the back of his neck a gentle squeeze.   
  
“Thank you,” he says. “I know you did this for me, too, and I appreciate it.” He kisses the side of Aaron’s head and slings his arm around his shoulders. They walk into the pub like that, and Chas tips them a wink from the bar. Aaron forces the last of the tension out of his shoulders and deliberately turns his mind away from his conversation with Rebecca. They will have their celebratory pints, and then they’ll go upstairs and celebrate in another way, and tomorrow they will wake up with none of this hanging over their heads. He looks at Robert leaning over the bar to trade barbs with Charity and thinks to himself that maybe they can finally stop worrying about everything else and start being happy.

*

“Letter for you,” Kasim says, tossing it on the desk. Aaron looks up from his phone, startled. Kasim laughs. “That’s what you get. You’re meant to be working, not flirting with your fiancé.”

“It is work,” Aaron retorts, but he feels heat climb up his neck and into his cheeks.

Kasim shakes his head, clearly not believing a word of it, but the truth is that although the constant texts that he’s been receiving are from Robert, most of them have been to do with the work being done on Mill Cottage. Robert had not been joking about starting work on the house as soon as possible, and the past couple of days have seen a barrage of texts as Robert tries to negotiate what they can afford with what they need to make the place livable. It had turned out that partially to avoid Rebecca, partially to try and make things easier on Aaron, Robert had been focusing more and more on work, and as a result had amassed a tidy sum that he had saved up so that he would be able to help with the down payment for Mill Cottage. As a result, when Aaron had given in on using Gordon’s money to buy the place (Liv’s money, he tells himself. _Liv’s_. It’s the only way to make using it bearable, even now, even with everyone so incredibly happy), there was more money to do the place up right than they’d thought.

It’s still going to take more than they have at present, though, because the one thing that Aaron absolutely put his foot down on was that they would not use Liv’s money for anything but the purchase. That was more than enough, he’d told his scowling sister, more than they would ever sink in to rebuilding the place. He’d cheered her up directly after by informing her that purchasing the place wouldn’t get her out of helping them fix it up. As such he has to deal with Robert checking in to make sure that his decision to fix up the front of the house first is one Aaron agrees with, or which bedroom he fancies for them, the one overlooking the river or the one facing east with the bigger closet space. Just to mess with him Aaron chose the river on that one, knowing that Robert would prefer the closet space. He let him stew for an hour before relenting and telling him to go with the closet space, but it backfired when instead of being delighted, Robert kept checking to make sure that he didn’t mind giving that room to Liv instead.

It makes something swell in his chest, to know that more than anything, Robert wants them all to be happy in this new home of theirs. All of them do. Mill Cottage represents a proper start to their life together, and none of them wants to mess it up. They’re steadily moving past the last few weeks of misery and growing happier as they get closer to creating their own tight family unit. Liv’s taking a while longer than Aaron might like with Robert, but he understands. She’d trusted him not to mess with Aaron and he had; no matter his reasons it’s going to take her a while to build that trust back up. She doesn’t have the history with him that Aaron has; has no idea how far he’s come. How far they’ve both come.

He and Robert are better than ever. With the drama of Home Farm and Rebecca and whether or not to buy the Mill done away with, they are free to focus on each other, and they’ve been taking full advantage. Case in point: most of the texts that he’s been receiving from Robert today have been about the Mill but it just so happens that the last one hadn’t been, and it is that that fuels his blush. To distract himself (and Kasim from laughing at him), he picks up the letter and studies it.

“Oh,” he says when he recognizes the slanting writing on the front. “It’s from Lachlan.”

Kasim studies him. “I thought you said that you weren’t going to visit him anymore.”

“I did. I’m not. I told him I had to get my head sorted.” Aaron fiddles with the envelope, but doesn’t open it. “I did say that he could write, though.” He’d forgotten, however. Even though it hadn’t been that long ago, so much has happened that Lachlan has completely slipped his mind.

“Nothing saying you have to read it,” Kasim says gently. Aaron frowns at him, and he shrugs. “Look, I know you had other stuff going on, and I’m not going to ask what” his eyes flick to Aaron’s hands, so fast he probably wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been looking directly at him, then back up to his face “but I know that every time you’d visit him you’d come back looking worn down and tired. He obviously upset you. You don’t have to take my advice, but I don’t think it’s worth putting yourself through that.”

Aaron bites his lip. “He’s got no one else,” he says softly. “His mum is too busy blaming everyone else for his problems, his granddad is keeping his distance, and his aunt…there’s no one else.”

Kasim shakes his head. “You can’t make yourself responsible for the lad, Aaron. He’s getting the help he needs from people who are trained to deal with it. You’re a great bloke but you have your own problems to deal with, and you can’t let him make you forget that.”

“I just-“Aaron starts, but then there’s a tap at the door and he stops, staring.

Rebecca White is standing just outside, looking uncomfortable. “Hello,” she says, attempting a smile that barely touches her mouth before it fades. “I know I’m the last person you want to see, but I was hoping I might have a word.”

Aaron looks at her a moment before giving a small, short nod. She steps gingerly inside, heels scraping on the stairs, and stands awkwardly in front of the door, fidgeting. Her eyes dart to Kasim and then away, and with a glance at Aaron he snags a hi-res vest off of its hook.

“I’ll just see about sorting that van out there, then,” he says, and slides around Rebecca and out the door.

She turns to watch him go, smiling slightly. “At least now you’ve something to look at,” she says, and then when Aaron doesn’t reply nods to herself. She shuts the portacabin door and takes a breath, turning back to face him. “Okay. So, I’d like to apologize.”

Despite his resolution not to give her anything to work with, Aaron feels his eyebrows climb up his forehead.

Rebecca gives him a wry smile. “I know, took me long enough.” She shrugs lightly. “The truth is that I didn’t want to. I was angry, and hurt, and it made me a bit of a cow.” She glances away, then back, and Aaron is surprised to see that her eyes are filling with tears. “Robert played me. He knew how I felt about him and he used it to get what he wanted, and then when he had it he dropped me like I never even mattered. I wanted to hurt him back.” She blinks rapidly, obviously trying to keep the tears from falling, but one slips out of her eye and trails down her cheek; she dashes it away with the back of her hand. “I wanted him to feel like I felt when he told me that I meant nothing; I wanted him to lose the person he cared about most…at least right now.” She closes her eyes, then opens them, straightening her spine and meeting Aaron’s eyes. “I’m not sorry for that, or for telling you about the kiss. But I am sorry that I dragged your sister into it.”

“She did vandalize your car,” Aaron says.

“And if I had gone to the police, that would have been one thing, but I didn’t do that, did I?” she gives a wet sounding laugh. “I was actually relieved when you stole the recording, can you believe it? Obviously I haven’t got the stomach for revenge.” She shrugs. “I don’t want us to be friends and I’m not asking for it. If I had my way I’d leave tomorrow and never look back. But I have to make things right with my family, and in order to do that I need to be here. I’d like it if we could manage to act civilly with each other.”

“And Robert?”

“Honestly, I don’t even want to look at him.”

Aaron nods. “Alright.” He doesn’t want to fight with Rebecca; doesn’t want to have anything to do with her or her family. If this is what will do it, then he’ll gladly agree.

Rebecca nods. “Good.” She turns away and reaches for the doorknob, then hesitates. She speaks quickly, without looking at him. “I know that you don’t trust me and you have no reason to, but I meant it when I said all he cares about is himself. Right now you’re what he wants, but he’ll lose interest and he’ll hurt you, and I’m not entirely sure you deserve that.” She’s out the door before Aaron can reply, striding briskly along the dirt to her car, which does look amazing. Aaron wonders who fixed it up for her. His eyes fall back to the desk and he blinks down at Lachlan’s letter. It’s too much right now, he decides, and hurriedly tosses it into his desk drawer with the others. He’ll deal with it later. He stands, feeling jittery, and grabs one of the vests for himself, sliding it on as he goes out to join Kasim. Suddenly tearing something apart seems like just the thing he needs.


	8. Chapter 8

_…Dr. Lumley told me that he is proud of my progress, but I heard him telling my mum that he is worried that I am backsliding. He didn’t think that I could hear him. He didn’t know that I was almost to the table. He seemed shocked that I was so close by but I pretended not to hear._ _  
  
He might call you. I’m sorry. I told him that he shouldn’t because you said that you needed space but I think he will. He thinks that you help me even more than mum. He didn’t say that either but I can tell. Because you do. You’re a good person and you make me want to be better. For me, like you said, but for you, too. I want to ~~make you proud earn your trust~~ be different than I was. I know how much I’ve screwed up but I think that I can change. ~~If you~~  
  
I know you said you need your space and I will give it to you, but do you think that you might write back? Dr. L said that you can. They’ll go through it to make sure that you’re not sending any contraband or that we’re not plotting my escape or something, but it’s not like I expect you to say anything really. Just a hello would be nice. Or some confirmation that you’re actually reading this. ~~Even a line~~ It’s your choice.  
  
Lachlan_  
  
Aaron folds the letter and puts it back into the envelope. He bites his lip, staring into space. He doesn’t know if he feels better or worse for reading it. He thinks perhaps a bit worse, all told. The crossed out lines trouble him – he can make most of them out, and they’re worrying. He hadn’t wanted to become Lachlan’s crutch, but it seems that it has happened nonetheless. He doesn’t know what to do about it.   
  
Kasim enters the portacabin, bringing in a gust of cold air that shocks Aaron out of his contemplation. He glares and Kasim just laughs, shutting the door and making straight for the kettle. He grins when he finds it hot.  
  
“Ta, mate.” He sets about making a brew, not bothered by Aaron’s lack of reply. He’s grown more than used to Aaron’s surliness in the mornings. “Want another?” he offers, holding out his hand. Aaron half smiles and leans forward to hand him his mug. Their fingers brush when he does, and Kasim pulls his hand back so quickly he nearly drops the mug; he won’t meet Aaron’s eyes. Aaron frowns.  
  
“Kas-“  
  
“You’re here early,” Kasim says quickly, cutting Aaron off. “Usually come in late, these days.” He sends a quick glance and his own half smile Aaron’s way. “It can’t be that you’re not sleeping again; you look too rested.”  
  
Aaron lets it go. He’s no idiot; he understands why Kasim acts skittish around him sometimes. He’d have to be completely oblivious not to see the way that his eyes sometimes catch on his mouth and stay there, or the way he sometimes looks as though he wants to say something he knows he shouldn’t. He’s fine with pretending not to know if that’s what Kasim wants; so long as it’s not hurting anybody, he doesn’t see why they can’t both ignore it.   
  
“Was up early. You can’t always be the first one in, mate. How would that make me look?”   
  
Kasim smile stretches into a relieved grin, then his eyes land on the open letter and the grin fades. Aaron watches him debate with himself a moment, before he says, “Thought you’d decided not to read those.”  
  
“Hadn’t made up m'mind, actually,’ he says lightly. “And it was too cold to do much of anything else when I got here…” he shrugs. The truth is that he hadn’t been intending on reading any of Lachlan’s letters, but he’d had a restless night, one of the ones where his mind refused to stop going and his body felt full of nerves and it was all he could do to lie still and not disturb Robert, who slept like the dead but had curled around him in such a way that Aaron had been loath to move on the chance it would disturb his sleep. He’d finally fallen into an uncomfortable half doze only to keep waking at the slightest sound, until he’d finally been unable to take it and had gently slid out from Robert’s clinging arms and out into the cold, grabbing his backpack and a change of clothes before donning his running gear and walking downstairs in his stocking feet, putting his runners on when he got to the bottom.   
  
He’d run the entire way to the scrapyard, and by the time he arrived he was out of breath and sweating despite the cold, hair matted to his forehead, but feeling much calmer, less apt to jump out of his own skin. He’d started the kettle and changed out of his damp clothes quickly, hissing when the cold met his skin. Then he’d sat with his tea and worked the books for a while, but the restlessness had started to creep back in and he’d had to something to distract himself. The thought of going out in the biting cold when he’d finally gotten some warmth inside the portacabin was not appealing, but he couldn’t concentrate properly on adding up. Then his mind had hit upon the letters and he’d pulled them out of his desk. He’d only just finished the first one when Kasim had walked in the door.  
  
Now Kasim frowns at him. “I know it’s not my place –“  
  
“No, it really isn’t,” Aaron snaps, irritated, then sighs. “Sorry.”  
  
Kasim shakes his head. “No, don’t be. I shouldn’t pry.”  
  
“No, you’re fine. You’re only telling me what anyone would, if they knew.” He shakes his head. “Well, no, actually you’re being better about it. Mum ‘n Robert would rip my head off.”   
  
“Is that why you haven’t told them?”  
  
“Mostly, yeah.” He rubs at his eyes briefly, feeling suddenly worn out. “They wouldn’t get it at all. Mum might, a little, but she’d tell me to let Lachlan’s own people sort him out. And Robert...” he shakes his head. Robert wouldn’t understand at all.   
  
“He’d be angry?”  
  
“What? No. No, he’d be-“hurt, upset, confused – “worried. He’d be worried.”  
  
“Yeah, well, he’s not the only one.” Kasim says softly. He gives Aaron a long, intent look and leans forward. “Things are good for you now, right? You’re sleeping better, you’re more relaxed. You’re headaches have stopped. You’re moving into your own place and you’re smiling more. Why let him ruin even a part of that?”  
  
Aaron opens his mouth, then closes it, caught completely off guard. “I’m…smiling more?”   
  
Kasim blushes and looks away. “Is that all you heard?”  
  
“Sorry. I just didn’t notice-” Aaron stops. He knows that Kasim pays attention to him, is the thing. He just hadn’t realized how much.   
  
“’Course you didn’t. It’s not like you sit around thinking about your own face,” Kasim says testily, then shakes his head. “But that’s not the point. Why would you let that – that – why let him in? Why let him have an hold?”  
  
Now Aaron shakes his head. “I’m not,” he protests, but Kasim only looks at him until he sighs, his eyes dropping down to the letter. “He’s just a kid,” he says softly. “We all keep forgetting that he’s just a messed up kid. I guess I don’t want to believe that he can’t change.” He gives a wry smile. “If a kid like him can’t do it, what hope is there for grown folks?”  
  
Kasim still looks doubtful, and Aaron can tell he wants to say more, but before he can the phone shrills, startling the both of them.  
  
It turns out to be a prospective client, a man in Leeds who has a haul of copper he’s willing to let them have if they can pick it up this morning. Kasim volunteers to go before Aaron can ask, and he lets him leave with no small amount of relief. He understands Kasim’s concern, but he really doesn’t think that there’s any harm in simply reading Lachlan’s letters.  
  
Still, he decides as he watches Kasim drive off, it might be a good idea not to give Lachlan the reply he’s asking for. Aaron really doesn’t need to get wrapped up in this any more than he already is, and it might help the lad turn more towards the support of his mum and his therapist if he doesn’t receive any encouragement from him.

*

He doesn’t think about it. It’s easy enough to put out of his mind – the letters are easily put away, and though he does mean to read them more often than not they simply wind up tossed into his desk at the scrapyard, Aaron too busy or too tired to deal with it. He usually means to read them, but it’s often easier not to. The few that he does read wear him out. They are often melancholy, and always end with the plea for Aaron to get in touch. Lachlan hasn’t tried to pressure Aaron into it – he always insists that it’s Aaron’s choice – but Aaron feels pressured anyway. He keeps thinking of Lachlan waiting for his reply, becoming more and more disappointed when none comes, and it makes him feel guilty despite himself, though never guilty enough to pick up a pen.

He knows that Kasim wants to bring it up, but he doesn’t. Things have been oddly tense between them since the day that Kasim had come upon him reading Lachlan’s first letter, and Aaron hasn’t been doing much to change that. He keeps thinking about the way Kasim had blushed when he’d told Aaron that he smiled more. Keeps thinking about how good it looked on his face, and how much a part of him had enjoyed seeing it, and knowing he had caused it. It’s not that he’s interested in Kasim, not really, but he likes knowing he’s wanted, and he doesn’t want to encourage Kasim’s interest just to feel good about himself. He likes him too much for that. Finn’s been showing up again, whatever row that they’d had cleared up, and Aaron thinks that despite the weirdness of their beginning, the two of them might actually manage to make it work.

To help it along, he’s been making himself as scarce as possible when Finn shows up looking for Kasim, and when he shows up for lunch just as Aaron is settling in to read another letter he has no problem putting it aside and heading to the pub for his own meal.

He hopes to catch Robert there, but finds him out. His mum is at the bar trying to serve a dozen punters at once and Charity is, predictably, nowhere to be found. Aaron gives a sigh and removes his jacket, heading through the back so that he can hang it up before returning to the bar, pushing the sleeves of his jumper up his arms as he directs his attention to one of the punters sitting at the bar and trying to catch Chas’ eye. “What can I get you?”

Chas sends him a grateful smile, and for the next hour the two of them are kept fairly busy serving drinks and delivering orders. Charity walks in just as the lunch rush is ending and Chas immediately lays into her, not even bothering to get her somewhere with a semblance of privacy before she starts scolding. Charity snips back and soon the two of them are deep in it. Aaron can’t help his grin as he pours himself a pint and sits at the bar.

Vic comes out with a smile and a plate of steaming food right when the row is hitting its loudest point. She raises an eyebrow at the two squabblers as she sets the plate in front of Aaron. “Thought you might be hungry,” she says.

“Cheers, Vic.” He’s ravenous, and Vic’s pies are always delicious.

“I’m really happy for you,” Vic says. Aaron looks up; Vic’s giving him a soft, fond smile.

“Uh, thanks?”

“I know that things were rocky with Rob for a while. I’m glad you two have worked it out.” She leans forward and her smile widens into a grin. “ _Really_ worked it out, if what I heard this morning is anything to go by.”

“Yeah, no,” Aaron says, shaking his head and pointing his fork at her. “No, we are not talking about that ever.”

Vic laughs delightedly. She’s incredibly happy, glowing almost, and Aaron doesn’t think that it has much to do with the state of his relationship. He cocks his head. “D’you want to tell me something?” he asks.

She looks at him. “Have you seen Adam lately?”

“Nah, he’s been busy at the farm hasn’t he? And with Moira…” he trails off. Moira has been drinking heavily lately, heavily enough that Adam and Vic have returned to living at the farm to try and snap her out of it. It’s a slow going process, and from what he can gather a frustrating one. Chas has agreed to help out by not serving Moira when she stumbles in, furious and demanding a drink, but that doesn’t mean that she can’t get it elsewhere. He knows from his brief talks with Adam that she’s determinedly pushing everyone away, but all he would need to know that is Cain’s awful mood, which grows blacker every time that Moira refuses his help.

“Yeah,” Vic agrees, and her face dims, then brightens again. “But she’s getting better. It’s gonna take some time, of course, but at least she’s stopped pushing us away.” She leans forward again and lowers her voice. “I’m a little worried about Adam. He says that he’s happy, but I feel like all this might be too much for him. First Holly, then James, now Moira. And even though it’s good news, he says so, I just wonder if it might be too much stress added on, you know. With everything.”

Aaron stares at her a moment, mind working. “Wait. Are you saying – Vic, are you –“

Vic nods, and starts to smile, but then her eyes flick over his shoulder and she frowns instead. “You alright?” she asks the person behind him. “You look-“

“Fine, thanks,” Robert says, but when Aaron turns to look at him he doesn’t believe it. Robert’s mouth is a tight line and there’s a muscle twitching over and over in his jaw. His eyes are narrowed and focused on Aaron. “We need to talk,” he says, and stalks into the back before Aaron has a chance to reply.

Vic looks at Aaron. “Any idea what that was about?”

“Not a clue.” Aaron shrugs. He thinks about all the things that it could be – Chrissie or the Mill or Rebecca, even – and sighs. He looks forlornly at his pie as he pushes away from the bar. “Best go see what’s wrong.” He grins at Vic. “Congratulations, and don’t worry about it being too much. I’m sure Adam’s chuffed.”

Robert’s pacing around the room when Aaron enters. His hair is all over the place, and Aaron realizes with surprise that he’s probably been running his hands through it, which he only does when he’s really upset. He shuts the door and Robert whirls on him, eyes wild and furious, but Aaron can see the edge of something like fear there as well. He feels a small spark of fear run up his own spine, and he steps forward, arm outstretched. “What’s going on? Is it the Mill?” he hesitates. “Is it Chrissie?”

“Why would it be Chrissie?” Robert asks, voice soft. Dangerous. He takes a step forward and Aaron takes one back before he catches himself. “Funny you would think that. I haven’t had any contact with anyone from that family for a while now. Since you got Rebecca to back off.” He pulls something out of his pocket, and Aaron’s eyes widen when he realizes what it is. “But that’s not so true in your case, is it?” he throws the letters down on the table. Some of them spill off and onto the floor, and Aaron can see that they’ve all been opened. “So, Aaron, you want to tell me what the hell you think you’re playing at?”


	9. Chapter 9

“You went through my desk,” Aaron says. He knows it’s the wrong thing to say before the words even leave his mouth, but he can’t help it. “Why would you go through my desk?”

Robert stares at him. “Is that really what you care about?” he bursts out, throwing his hands up. “That little psycho has been writing you _love_ letters and you’re worried about me going through your things?”

“They aren’t love letters!” And now Aaron could hit himself. He’s been caught off guard, his mind has gone blank, and his mouth is operating completely on its own. He knows now that he’d never intended to tell Robert about either the letters or his visits to Lachlan, never expected that it would come out. He’d thought that Lachlan would lose interest eventually and Aaron could put all of this behind him with Robert none the wiser. He’d known, even if he hadn’t let himself know, that Robert would react like this. And since he’d never let himself really think about what might happen if Robert found out, he’s floundering, and badly.

Robert laughs harshly. “’You’re such a good person, Aaron,’” he says, voice high and mocking. “’You deserve better than Robert, Aaron. I can’t do this without you, Aaron. _You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Aaron!_ ’ Does that not sound like a love letter to you? I stopped by the scrapyard to see if you were free for lunch, but everyone was out. I thought I might as well look at this month’s figures while I was there and what do I find crammed in the folder but one of these,” he gestures at the envelops strewn across the table. “I wouldn’t have read it; it’s none of my business who you write to, but I caught the signature.” His hands curl into fists. “’Please write back, if you can. I miss you. Lachlan.’”

Aaron shakes his head. “It didn’t-“he starts, and then clamps his mouth shut on the rest of the words.

Robert shakes his head, his face creased in something like disbelief. “So you did read it. I promise you, that’s what it said. The last bit was crossed out but I could still read it. Lots of things were crossed out but still readable. Why do you think that is?” His lip curls. “I can’t believe you’d even visit him in the first place, after what he’s done.”

“I went because he was writing Liv and I wanted him to stop!” Finally, Aaron’s mouth and brain are working together. “You knew that! And yes, I went back, because his _therapist_ told me I was _helping_ him. He’s messed up, but he’s just a kid, Robert.”

“Just a kid?” Robert says through his sneer. “Just a kid, after what he did to Andy? To Alicia?” He gives Aaron a viciously triumphant look as he mentions this last bit, obviously considering it his trump card. Suddenly Aaron is furious at him.

“Like you care about what he did to Alicia,” he snaps. “You sure cared when it happened, didn’t you? You and that awful family, first making her out to be a liar, and then refusing her the justice she deserved? No, all you cared about was making sure that your perfect little life wasn’t destroyed, as usual. He was just a screwed up kid then because it was convenient for you.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Oh, I think it is. Don’t pretend this is about Alicia. It might be about Andy, a little bit, but really it’s about you, not liking when things aren’t going your way.” He’s shaking; he hates fighting like this, hates the things he’s saying, but it’s like he can’t stop himself. Bitterness just keeps pouring out of him. “Lachlan’s messed up, he’s twisted, but he’s only sixteen. He’s a kid. Just because you’ve decided to forget that doesn’t mean the rest of us have.”

“Have you forgotten what he threatened to do to me, then?” Robert demands, face twisted. “Because it sure seems like you have.”

“Right, and suddenly you care about that, do you? Didn’t seem to bother you at the time. Or was that just because at the time you were too busy worrying that he’d let slip that you’d copped off with Rebecca?”

“I told you, nothing happened with her.”

“Yeah, you did. But you say a lot of things, don’t ya. Pretty sure they can’t all be true.”

Robert’s mouth drops open, and for a second hurt flares across his face so strongly that Aaron almost winces in sympathy; almost takes his words back. Then it’s gone replaced by a blankness that is almost as painful to look at. Aaron wants to apologize, can feel the words crawling from the sick, churning pit in his stomach and up his throat, but he clenches his teeth down on them before they can escape. He wants to let them out, wants to say the words, but he can’t be sure that’s because he really is sorry or if it’s because he can’t stand that look on Robert’s face. He won’t give it to him until he knows.

Robert stares over Aaron’s shoulder, jaw working. “I don’t want you talking to him.”

_I’m not_. “That’s not really your decision, is it?”

Robert shakes his head. “Fine,” he says, voice low. Defeated. “Do what you like. You will anyway.” And then he leaves, keeping a large space between them as he moves around Aaron to get to the door. Aaron doesn’t watch him go. He hears the bustle of the pub as Robert opens the door, and then he goes to the table and begins to pick up the scattered letters. His chest feels tight, his eyes grow hot and his nose starts to burn. He very carefully collects every letter and puts them into a neat pile on the table, then sits in one of the chairs and puts his head in his hands, closing his eyes against the tears. _I’m sorry_ , he thinks, and knows that he means it, now when Robert’s left and he probably wouldn’t listen even if he were around to hear. _I love you. I’m sorry_.

Someone walks in; he hears the soft tapping of heels against the floor and prays that it isn’t Charity. The last thing he needs to deal with is her in a strop because his mum gave her what for about missing the lunch rush.

“Aaron?” his mum asks, sounding concerned. “Robert’s just walked out of here looking like death. What is it, love? What’s wrong?”

Aaron shakes his head, unable to look at her. Tears slip from beneath his closed eyelids.

“Did you two have a row?” she asks, and Aaron hunches in on himself as he nods. He wipes at his eyes with the sleeves of his jumper and opens them so that he can look up at her. “Oh, sweetheart,” Chas says, and cups his face. “You’ll make it up. You always do.”

Aaron shrugs. He wonders if Robert will be coming home tonight, or if he will be staying at Vic’s. The house is empty and it would be a simple thing, talking to Vic and getting the key. He thinks of her happy, glowing face at lunch being creased with worry again because of him and tries to curl even farther into himself.

“Want to tell me what it was about?” Chas asks, and Aaron’s eyes flick over to the letters on the table. Chas follows his gaze; her hands drop from his face as she picks up one of the letters and stares at the postscript, sitting down in the chair next to him. “Oh, Aaron. Why?”

“Because he’s a kid,” Aaron says tiredly, feeling like a broken record. “He’s a kid and he needed someone to talk to.” He meets Chas’ eyes. “I didn’t mean to, but there was no one else. What else was I supposed to do?”

Chas closes her eyes and shakes her head. “You,” she says, “are one of the kindest, most wonderful people I know, but Aaron. It can’t be you. You can’t help him, sweetheart. You’re part of the problem.”

Aaron nods. “Yeah. I got that, eventually. I was hoping that if I didn’t visit or answer his letters, then he’d leave off. I thought it’d just go away.” He huffs a small, unamused laugh. “And then Robert found the letters. I should have expected that.”

“You should have told him,” Chas says. There’s no censure in her voice or in her face, but Aaron hears it all the same.

“I didn’t – I knew how he’d react, and I didn’t want him to worry or get upset.”

“I know.” Chas reaches out and grasps Aaron’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. “But you can’t expect him to be honest if you aren’t.”

Aaron frowns. He knows she’s right but still, ”When did you start taking Robert’s side, anyway?’

“Oi, I’m not taking sides, and if I were I’d always be on yours. Besides,” she shrugs, “he’s grown on me, a bit. Sort of like mold, really.”

Aaron laughs despite himself. “Charming,” he says.

“Yeah, well, _I_ wasn’t the one who went to charm school, was I?” She gives him a bright smile, then sobers. “You should patch things up with him, sooner the better.”

“I will,” Aaron says, and he means it. They both need a bit of time to cool down, still – the last thing he wants is to have another bust up because they’re both still too raw from the last one to listen to each other – but he’ll find Robert in a few hours and apologize. Then maybe he can explain, and Robert will listen, and they can put this behind them.

*

Robert does come home, hours later. Aaron is waiting for him. He’s sitting on the bed and fiddling with his phone. He’d tried calling, but Robert’s had been turned off. It had worried him, but seeing Robert now he just feels relieved.   
  
“You’re home.”  
  
“Live here, don’t I?” Robert’s mouth lifts a bit, taking the sting out of the words. “Were you waiting for me?”  
  
“Guess it’s my turn.” Aaron bites his the corner of his lip.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Robert says, and Aaron blinks, surprised. “I shouldn’t have just gone off like I did.”  
  
Aaron opens his mouth to apologize, too, and then closes it, narrowing his eyes. Robert is shifting, skittish, and he isn’t meeting Aaron’s gaze. The signs couldn’t be clearer. Aaron purses his lips. “What have you done?”  
  
Robert shifts uncomfortably. “Before I tell you, you have to promise not to kick off.”  
  
“Robert.” It’s a warning. “Tell me what you did.” He tries not to think of just what Robert could have been up to in the hours he was gone and his mobile was off, but he can’t help it. He sees him at a bar somewhere, drinking, catching the eye of someone across the room. Flirting, laughing, drinking some more, completely ignoring the ring on his finger, just like he used to. Pulling some lanky stranger into the toilets, leaning down -  
  
“I went to see Lachlan.”  
  
Aaron’s thoughts are immediately cut off and he stares blankly at Robert. “You what?”  
  
Robert winces. “Not my best idea, I’ll admit, but I wanted to warn him off.”  
  
“You what?” Aaron repeats, then pinches the bridge of his nose. “ _Robert_.”  
  
“I know. I know, alright? But I was upset, and I wanted to make sure he stayed away.”  
  
“And winding him up does that how, exactly?”  
  
“This wouldn’t even be an issue if you hadn’t gone there in the first place!”  
  
“I told you, I went there for Liv! To stop him bothering her!”  
  
“And I went there for you!”   
  
Aaron closes his mouth on his retort and closes his eyes, breathing deeply. “I don’t want to argue,” he says. “But what were you thinking?”  
  
Robert offers a wry smile. “Not sure thinking really came into it,” he admits.   
  
Aaron smiles back. “Does it ever?” he says, then, “Come here.”  
  
Robert does, sitting next to Aaron on the bed, close enough that they touch along the entire length of their bodies. He rests one of his hands just above Aaron’s knee, fingers curling around his leg. The tension drains from Aaron’s body immediately, and he can feel the same happening to Robert. Sometimes it amazes Aaron to think that he does for Robert what Robert does for him; that this man that he fought so hard for and with for so long now loves him this way, loves him enough to not only fight for him, but to come home after a row needing to work things out. That he loves him enough to _want_ to do those things.   
  
“I love you,” he says, just to see Robert relax even farther, to feel his fingers twitch in reaction against his thigh. He smiles. “And I’m sorry, too. I should have told you.”  
  
“Not like I didn’t do exactly what you expected,” Robert says, “but I just can’t stand the thought of you talking to him. He’s really messed up, Aaron, and maybe he can be helped, but-“  
  
“But not by me. Yeah, I know. I was trying to get him to stop; I thought that if I didn’t answer, he’d eventually turn to someone else. Didn’t count on you, though, sticking your oar in.” He nudges his shoulder against Robert’s to show he means no offense.   
  
Robert smiles briefly, then gets serious. The muscle in his jaw ticks rapidly, and then he says, “And you were wrong, you know. I did care about Alicia. We both did. Once we’d realized he’d lied we tried to make him get help.” He shrugs. “Back then Chrissie wanted him to understand that actions have consequences. And she was right. But she couldn’t have her son sent down for it, not if she could help it. And we were married; I had to support her.”  
  
Aaron winces. “I shouldn’t have said that.”  
  
“That's alright. I know a way you can make it up to me.” Robert’s hand slides up his leg. He leans over and kisses the side of Aaron’s neck, smiling when his hand encounters hardness. “If you want to, that is.”  
  
Aaron tilts his head to give Robert better access, hands already working on the buttons of his shirt. “If I must," he says, and Robert laughs and pushes him down on the bed. 


	10. Chapter 10

He’s in Bob’s café a few days later enjoying a bacon sandwich and a latte when Rebecca White walks in, her eyes scanning the room as though looking for someone. Aaron looks away almost as soon as he sees her, uninterested. They’ve been civil the couple of times that they’ve bumped into each other as they’d agreed; exchanged polite nods and then blanked each other after. His disinterest means that he misses her relieved expression when her eyes light on him, but he sure doesn’t miss it when she seats herself across from him.  
  
He pauses in the act of raising his sarnie to his mouth, and slowly puts it back down. “What are you doing?” he asks.   
  
“I thought you should know, Chrissie found out about your visits to Lachlan, and now she’s on the warpath,” Rebecca says in a rush. “I’ve never seen her so furious, not even after she found out about me and Robert.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what possessed Robert to threaten him, but you should know that Chrissie has decided that you are to blame. Well, and me, but I’m always to blame for something with her.” She smiles brightly at Aaron but he can see the real worry behind it.   
  
“Why are you telling me this?”  
  
“Because despite my brief foray into the not so glamorous world of revenge, I am nothing like my sister. Chrissie isn’t someone you want to cross; she’s much better at this than me. There will be no warnings or threats; she'll just strike, and it will be somewhere that will hurt.”   
  
“And?”  
  
“And what?”  
  
Aaron raises an eyebrow. “And you’re here out of the goodness of your heart, are you? I don’t believe that.”  
  
Rebecca rolls her lips into her mouth for a brief moment, looking up at the ceiling before returning her gaze to Aaron. “Fine. It’s possible that I feel a little guilty. Only a little, mind, don’t get carried away.” Aaron simply looks at her, and she shrugs. “I was very angry when I found the video of what your sister did was gone. I might have mentioned it – not to her,” she clarifies off of Aaron’s look. “To Ronnie. He’s the one who helped me see sense, actually. You should be grateful to him. But I think Chrissie overheard; I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly troubling to be quiet. I can’t be positive, but some of the things she was saying yesterday and this morning made me think that she did.”  
  
“What things?” Aaron asks. There’s something heavier than worry but a bit less than panic making room for itself in his chest; he bottles it. He can’t afford to let it affect him right now. Right now he needs facts so that he can start planning.  
  
“Nothing concrete. Just cryptic little comments about police and records and the like. Things like she wonders if you sister is really in the right place. If you’re not a bad influence. If her record won't wind up worse than yours, should she stay with you.” Rebecca leans forward. “I think that she is planning to phone the police, and it would be like her to come at you through your sister. There’s no evidence if you destroyed the recording, but you might want to prepare her, just in case.” Her mouth quirks. “I imagine she’s had some experience with lying to law enforcement.”   
  
Aaron swallows, nods. “Right. I’ve got to go.” He stands, then looks down at Rebecca, who is still sitting at the table. “Thank you,” he says, and means it.  
  
She shakes her head. “Don’t mention it,” she says. “Really. Don’t.”  
  
Aaron takes her meaning. He nods, and then leaves, searching his pockets for his mobile. Liv is practically welded to hers; she's supposed to have it off at school but he highly doubts she does. He can text her at least. Warn her about what might be coming

His phone isn’t in any of his pockets, of course. He’s not Liv or even Robert; he barely pays attention to the thing when he’s not using it and has the worst tendency in the world to put it down and walk away, though he is getting better about it with Liv & Robert’s constant badgering.

“Figures,” he mutters, and instead of heading out, goes back home to collect it.

The first thing he registers when he enters is his mum and Robert sitting at the kitchen table, looking strained. Then he sees the yellow and hides a grimace as they all turn to look at him, his mum saying with bright, false cheerfulness, “Didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“Forgot my phone,” he says, eyes on the two police officers sitting on the sofa.

“Aaron Dingle?” the one on the right asks. He’s older and balding slightly, with a red face and wispy brownish gray hair. The one next to him is much younger, with red hair and bright, curious brown eyes that are fixed on Aaron’s face.

“Yep,” Aaron says.

“We’d like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.” The tone is polite enough, but Aaron hears the steel underneath.

“Sure,” he says with a shrug. Chrissie has worked faster than he’d expected. There’ll be no time to work out any sort of story; all he can do is hope that whatever he tells the police officers matches what his mum and Robert have already said, and that he can get a hold of Liv before they do.

“Wonderful. Could you tell us your whereabouts on the afternoon of October 17th?”

Aaron stares blankly. He can see Robert widening his eyes meaningfully at him from where he sits, but he has no clue what he’s trying to communicate. “I’m sorry, what exactly is this about?” He thinks a moment. “Is this about the accident? Some new information? I thought that was a closed case.”

“I can’t speak to that case, sir. We’re here on a different matter.” The old police officer pauses, glances at his partner, and continues. “Some very serious allegations have been made, Mr. Dingle. We’re just trying to figure out the truth.”

“And what allegations would those be?” he asks, then looks over to where his family is sitting. “Robert?”

“Kidnapping, apparently,” Robert says before either officer can respond. His tone is perfect: just the right measure of amusement and disdain. Aaron could kiss him.

Instead, he laughs. “You’re joking,” he says, and Robert shakes his head.

“No joke.”

“And who am I to have kidnapped, then?”

“You’ll like this,” Robert starts, but before he can finish the young cop speaks.

“Lachlan White.” His eyes are intent on Aaron, flat and cold. _I know you did it_ , those eyes say, _and I’m going to prove it_.

Aaron meets them steadily. “On the day of the accident. The same accident that put me in hospital with lung and liver damage from being trapped underwater. That day.”

Robert clenches his jaw and looks at the floor; Chas reaches over and squeezes his arm.

“Plenty of time between morning and then,” the young officer says, and Aaron’s gaze snaps back to him.

“Sure there was,” he agrees, “but if I had kidnapped a teenager it’d be a bit stupid of me to be driving around the countryside with him, wouldn’t it?”

“You were seen by one of our patrolmen parked on the side of the road; apparently haphazardly, as though you’d stopped in a bit of a hurry. Care to explain that?”

“Sure, why not?” Aaron gestures at Robert. “We were in the middle of a row; I parked so I wouldn’t run us off the road and he stormed off into the woods like the muppet he is.”

“Oi,” Robert says, but Aaron ignores him.

“We made it up and were heading back to the car when the officer pulled up. That’s all.” Suddenly, Aaron remembers just what the officer in question thought that they were up to out in the woods, and he feels his face heat. Robert is smirking at him, probably knowing exactly what he’s thinking and incredibly (inappropriately) amused by it. The younger officer is smirking a bit, too, and Aaron feels a bit of mortification wash over him as he wonders just what that patrolman had said when questioned.

“And what was the row about?” the older one asks.

Aaron shakes his head. “Something private,” he says, and receives a cocked brow in return.

“Something like a teenager locked in the boot of your car, perhaps?”

Aaron doesn’t even try to keep his eyes from rolling. “Since there was no teenager in my boot, no. I can promise you that that row had nothing whatsoever to do with Lachlan White.”

“Really, it could have been anything,” Chas interjects. “They fight constantly, these two. I’ve got a pub full of people who can tell you that.”

“Thanks Chas,” Robert says dryly. He looks at the police officers and smiles guilelessly. “I wanted to go driving because I was planning on proposing, and he kept messing it up. It led to row, that’s all.”

“Right.” The younger of the two looks at Robert, then at Aaron, his glance clearly communicating how unbelievable he finds the idea. Aaron clenches his jaw.

“Was there anything else?”

“No, I think we’re good for now.” The officers stand up. “Thanks for the tea, ma’am. We’ll be in touch.”

After they’re gone, Aaron sinks down onto the vacated sofa and scrubs a hand over his face.

“Anyone want to tell me what that was about?” Chas asks. Aaron and Robert look at each other. Neither speaks. Chas gives them both a once over before zeroing in on Robert. “Well?” she asks, and Aaron watches with amusement as Robert starts to squirm. Aaron can see that he’s going to cave, so he puts him out of his misery.

“I…might have tied Lachlan up and put him in the boot of my car.”

Chas stares at him. Her mouth opens, then closes. She appears to be at a loss for words, but Aaron knows better. Sure enough, within a few moments she asks, “And why would you do that?” Her voice is very controlled, which is a bad sign. It’ll turn into yelling in a flash if he’s not careful.

“It’s not his fault,” Robert says quickly. “Lachlan was threatening me, and Aaron heard him. He just wanted to scare him a bit, and yeah, he went about it the wrong way, but he was trying to protect me.”

“And he got out,” Chas says.

“Yeah. He went in the lake with us, but he managed to get himself free. When I went back for him, the boot was open and he was stood on the shore, just watching.” Robert’s eyes go to the floor, his gaze distant and troubled. “He watched us pull Aaron out, watched him nearly die. Let me go back in there and did nothing.” He looks up and meets Aaron’s eyes. “I wanted to kill him. Adam wound up in the back of that ambulance instead of me because I went back for him and he was already out. If you hadn’t made it I would have.”

Aaron swallows. Robert had never told him that; never so much as mentioned it. He looks at his mom; she is watching Robert with wide, worried eyes. She hadn’t said anything to him about the time they’d spent waiting to see if he’d make it through, either, and looking at her now he wonders just how bad off Robert had actually been, to put that look on her face.

“Can they prove anything?” Chas asks, and Robert shakes his head.

“I don’t see how they could. All the evidence got washed away.” He shrugs. “I hadn’t even thought about it. It’s been so long.” He looks at Aaron. “This is because I went to see him yesterday, isn’t it?” he asks. “He’s using this to get back at me.”

Aaron shakes his head. “Not you,” he says, “Me. And it wasn’t Lachlan. It was Chrissie.” Now that he’s got a moment to think, it makes sense. “Lachlan must have told her, and now she’s reported it.” He sighs with relief. “At least it’s me she’s after and not Liv.”

“Hang on. I don’t get it. You,” Chas gestures at Robert “went to see Lachlan, and now Chrissie is after you,” this time she points at Aaron, who nods. “Right. Why is she going after Aaron again?”

“Because Robert’s visit upset Lachlan and apparently she holds me responsible when he acts like an idiot,” Aaron says. Robert glares at him and Chas gives him a sceptical look.

“And she told you that?”

“No,” Aaron says. “Rebecca did, actually.”

“Rebecca,” Robert says in a flat voice. “Didn’t know you two were mates.”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “We’re not. But she wanted to warn me about Chrissie. Only we both thought that it would have to do with Liv instead. I didn’t even think about Lachlan.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that. Why would it be about Liv?” Chas crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. “What’s she done?”

“Nothing,” Aaron says, waving an arm impatiently. “I took care of it. I said it was nothing,” he stresses when Chas raises her eyebrows. “It’s finished. Done. Even if it had been about that there’d be no proof.”

“And they can’t prove this either,” Robert says. “There’s no evidence, and even with Lachlan’s statement it won’t be enough to charge, let alone convict. We just have to stay calm.”

Aaron nods, biting his lip. There’s still a tight ball of worry in his stomach, but it’s bearable now that he knows how Chrissie is coming at him. As long as Liv is left out of it, he’ll be fine.


	11. Chapter 11

They don’t hear anything. Aaron keeps waiting for the police to return with more questions, and it keeps not happening. Robert and Chas are both on edge; they keep giving him sidelong glances when they think he isn’t paying attention. He ignores them, for the most part. He knows that they are waiting for him to lose it, for the stress to finally get to him and cause him to lash out, but really, he feels fine. He was so worried about Liv being in trouble that the relief of knowing she isn’t to be involved at all doesn’t leave room for much else. And as the days go by and he hears nothing, he relaxes even more.   
  
He’s eating a bacon sarnie when Chrissie walks into the back of the pub like she belongs there, face tight and furious.   
  
“Leave my son alone.”  
  
Aaron wonders briefly what it is about bacon sandwiches that seems to attract the Whites. “You can’t be back here,” he says. “How is it that everyone thinks that they can just come back here?”  
  
“Did you not hear me?” Chrissie asks incredulously. “I said-“  
  
“I heard you. And I don’t appreciate you coming back here and demanding things from me. You don’t get to do that. This place isn’t yours.”  
  
“But Lachlan is. I don’t know what you and Robert are playing at, but I swear-“  
  
“I’m not playing at anything. You come in here, into my home, and accuse me of playing games, when you’re the reason your son’s banged up in the first place.” He huffs out a laugh. “Should you even be talking to me? Considering you’re accusing me of kidnapping your Lachlan ‘n all.”  
  
Chrissie laughs unkindly. “You did kidnap him. They might not be able to prove it, but you did. Lucky wouldn’t lie to me.”  
  
“Wouldn’t he? Didn’t tell you that I was visiting him, did he? And why do you think that is, Chrissie? Maybe you should wind your neck in and think about it.”  
  
“He’s angry with me,” Chrissie says suddenly, and Aaron realizes that she is on the verge of tears. “You don’t even like him, you’re _happy_ he’s in that awful place and he’s still furious that I reported you to the police. He told them that nothing happened when they asked for a statement; pretty much called me a liar. Why would he do that for you? He will barely speak to me or his counselor, but you, _you_ he talks to.” She pulls herself together, straightening her spine and raising her chin. “I don’t want you talking to him. I can make things very hard for you. I can make things hard for your family.”  
  
“Are you threatening me?”  
  
“I won’t do anything if you just _stay away_.”  
  
For a moment, Aaron wants to tell her to shove her demands. If she thinks that she can threaten him into doing what she likes, she can think again. Then he forces himself to breathe, let it go, and do what’s best for everyone.   
  
“Fine.”  
  
Chrissie narrows her eyes. “Just like that?”  
  
Aaron rolls his own eyes. “Yeah, just like that. I’d stopped visiting him anyway; it was him writing me that started this mess.” He shrugs. “Look, Chrissie, I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want to be the person Lachlan turned to. But he felt he had no one else. He felt so alone that he had to turn to someone he hates. That’s not my fault.”  
  
“He doesn’t hate you,” Chrissie says, her voice tired. “He hates Robert, but not you. You he seems to like. Likes you more than his mum, anyway.”  
  
And no. Aaron is not sitting here for this. He refuses to become confessor to another bloody White. “He won’t be hearing from me,” he says, “now you need to leave.”  
  
Chrissie gives him a dirty look, but before she can reply there are footsteps on the stairs and Robert is entering, hair wet and smelling fresh from the shower.  
  
“Did you-you can’t be in here.” He looks at Aaron. “Did you invite her in here?”  
  
Aaron raises his eyebrows at Robert, hoping like hell that it can convey the sarcastic _because I’m the one who likes to have women back here for a friendly chat_ that he so wants to say. He won’t because Chrissie is here, but he knows Robert hears it anyway when he scowls.   
  
He half expects Chrissie to start sniping at Robert, but she doesn’t. “I was just leaving,” is all she says, still looking at Aaron. She starts to say something else, then simply gives him a nod before turning on her heel and leaving the way she’d come.   
  
“So what was that about?” Robert crosses his arms and glowers, and Aaron lets his head fall to the table with a thunk.  
  
“Whites putting me off sarnies.”  
  
“I’m serious, Aaron.”  
  
“So am I. Maybe she was hoping I'd make her one. Or maybe she was looking for a quick snog on the sofa. Oh, wait.”   
  
"Funny." Robert's now frowning so hard that it looks like it's causing him physical pain.  
  
Aaron takes pity on him. “Why do you think she was here? She was warning me off Lachlan.”  
  
“Did she threaten you?”  
  
“Sort of, yeah, but that was mostly for show, I think. Either way it’s over now.”  
  
“And you’re sure of that, are you?” Robert comes over and sits, pulling Aaron’s discarded sarnie to himself and tucking in. “Is she going to stop accusing you of kidnapping, then?”  
  
“Wouldn’t matter if she did; Lachlan won’t back her story up.” Aaron shrugs. “That’s probably why she came here.”  
  
“Of course he won’t; he _likes_ you.” Aaron twitches, thinking of what Chrissie had said. Then he thinks of the letters, and he twitches again. Robert hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d spoken of the things that Lachlan had written; if Aaron had been reading them himself instead of chucking them in his desk he’d have been much more understanding of his rage. Most of the worst of it had been crossed out, but not well enough that it couldn’t still be read. Aaron isn’t sure if that wasn’t the point, but he doesn’t like to dwell on it overmuch. Thinking about it makes his skin crawl a bit, and as Lachlan is still banged up it doesn’t really matter, he reasons.  
  
“But that doesn’t mean that she won’t try something else,” Robert continues, pulling Aaron out of his thoughts.   
  
“She did say something about making things hard for me, but like I said, I don’t think she really meant it. She just wanted me to promise to stay away from her son. Not that she needed to but,” he shrugs again.  
  
“You do know what she’s capable of, Aaron. I wouldn’t put it past her to try something else. Look what she did to Donny, to Andy.”  
  
“Yeah, but I never cheated on her or threatened to take her kid away. Pretty sure you’re still at the top of her personal hate list, mate.” He pats Robert’s shoulder.   
  
“Thanks for that. So you planning on telling him to leave you alone, then?”  
  
“Don’t really need to, do I? I have you and Chrissie to do it for me.”  
  
“Aaron.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “He hasn’t written me once since you went all bodyguard. I think he’s got the message. But yeah, if he starts it up again I’ll tell him. Happy?”  
  
“Ecstatic.” Robert grabs Aaron’s hand and tugs him out of his chair to stand between his splayed legs. “Now, can we please stop talking about that family? I got a call from the lead contractor at the Mill. Couple of rooms are done; what say we go and take a look later, after everyone’s gone home? Say around six? Claim our room properly before Liv can.”  
  
Aaron smirks. “Another hard floor in a drafty room that probably stinks? At least the barn had a bit of hay to lay on.”  
  
“Oi, I never said that’s what I was after!” Then, when Aaron only raises an eyebrow, “Okay, that’s also what I was after. But I do want to take a look around the place. If you’re morally opposed to the rest then we don’t have to.”  
  
Aaron’s smirk widens into a smile, and he leans down and gives Robert what he intends to be a light kiss, but Robert gets a hand around the back of his neck and opens his mouth, and it turns into a nice, slow snog instead. When Robert lets him go they’re both breathing hard.   
  
“Six,” he agrees. “And don’t forget the blanket.” He leaves the room grinning, the sound of Robert’s delighted laugh following behind him.

*

“Letter for you,” Adam says, waving a familiar looking envelope as he enters the portacabin. He squints as he holds it up to his face. “At least I think it’s for you. Can’t really tell from the writing.” His eyes fall on the postscript. “No, that can’t be right. Why would you be getting mail from the prison?” he asks. Across the room, Kasim’s head comes up and his eyes fix on Aaron.  
  
Aaron frowns and reaches out for the letter. “Lachlan was writing me, but I thought he left off of that weeks ago.”  
  
Adam pulls the letter out of his reach, looking concerned. “Lachlan? Why would you want him to write you? That kid’s bad news, mate.”  
  
“That’s exactly what I said,” Kasim says, and Aaron glares at him.  
  
“No one asked for your opinion, so how about you keep shut?”   
  
“Hey –“ Adam starts, but Kasim cuts over him.  
  
“I’ll keep shut when you learn to keep your personal life at home where it belongs.”  
  
“I’m sorry, you what?”  
  
“You heard me.”  
  
“Look mate, yo-“  
  
“Right, that’s enough you two,” Adam says loudly, and Aaron and Kasim stop glaring at each other to look at him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the two of you but you’ve been at it all day and it’s doing my head in. So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to go outside and finish sorting that load of scrap that came in this morning. You are going to stay here and work it out, and I don’t want to see either of you until it’s done.”  
  
“Who put you in charge?” Aaron asks, and Adam grins sunnily at him.  
  
“I did. It’s good practice for me; I am about to be a dad.”  
  
“You do know we’re not children, right?”  
  
“Sure acting like ‘em, though. Now, talk it out lads, because I can’t work like this.” And with another grin Adam heads out the door.   
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Git,” he says fondly, and stands up. He hasn’t the least intention of following Adam’s instructions; he isn’t five and doesn’t need to be told to play nice.   
  
Before he can take so much as a step, Kasim lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry,” he says.   
  
Aaron looks at him a moment. “You know we don’t actually have to listen to him,” he says.  
  
“Yeah, I know. But I want to apologize anyway. I shouldn’t have said that, about your personal life.”  
  
Aaron shrugs. “You were probably right,” he concedes. He hesitates to say any more, but then decides why not. It’s only the truth, after all. “You were right about Lachlan, too.” He looks down at the desk, where Adam has tossed Lachlan’s latest. “I should have just steered clear.”   
  
“Yeah, probably, but you thought you were helping. That’s not a bad thing,” Kasim gives him a soft smile, and all at once Aaron recalls why he’s been keeping his distance of late.  
  
“Right. Well, now that’s settled. I’ll just go help Adam.” He slides around the desk, intent on making it to the door this time.  
  
“Aaron. Aaron, stop.”   
  
Aaron does, reluctantly, not looking at Kasim. “Yeah?”  
  
“You don’t have to look so worried; I’m not going to make a move on you or anything.”  
  
“That wasn’t-“  
  
“It was, a little, and it’s fine. I know you know how I feel about you. But I have eyes. I see that you’re wearing a ring and I see that you’re happy. I’m not going to mess with that. Just do me a favor and stop worrying about it. I’ll get over it; you’re a great bloke but there’s a lot of them out there.” He hesitates, then gives a little shrug. "He's lucky, though. Your fiancé."  
  
Aaron ducks his head a little and tugs at the hem of his vest, looking at the ground with some embarrassment. Praise makes him uncomfortable, and he doesn't know how to answer Kasim. Doesn't know if Robert would even agree with that sentiment. He probably thinks that all the luck is Aaron's, conceited prat that he is. He's completely unaware of the soft, fond smile that's on his face, or of the way that Kasim smiles also when he sees it - although there's a slightly sad twist to Kasim's lips that Aaron's lack. He only looks back up when Kasim continues speaking.   
  
“And one more thing. Stop making yourself scarce when Finn stops by. I know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not like that with us and it’s not going to be. Alright?”  
  
Smile widening, Aaron steps up to the door and opens it, motioning for Kasim to go out first. “Yeah, alright. Now let’s get to work before Adam starts thinking he really is in charge.”  
  
Kasim laughs as he takes Aaron’s invitation, heading out to where Adam is tackling a mount of scrap metal and cheerfully whistling off-key. Aaron watches him go with a fond smile, then bites his lip. He turns around and picks the letter up off the desk, folds it and puts it in his pocket.


	12. Chapter 12

Lachlan’s smile when he sees Aaron is wide and bright amidst the fading bruises that decorate his face. “You’re back,” he says, not troubling to mask his happiness. “I didn’t think you would be.” Then he gets a good look at Aaron’s face and his smile fades. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not here to chat, Lachlan,” Aaron says. He pulls the envelope out of his pocket. He can’t give it to him of course, but he needs Lachlan to see that it hasn’t been opened. “You need to stop sending me these, alright? You need to stop contacting me at all.”

“What? No.” Lachlan shakes his head, eyes widening. “No. I know mum kicked off at you, but that’s over. I fixed it. I told the police that you didn’t do anything, and I told mum, I told her you were helping. I told her I-“

“It doesn’t matter,” Aaron cuts him off. He can’t listen to this, can’t hear the edge of desperation in Lachlan's voice. “I told her that I’d stay away and I plan to. It’s best that you rely on her now. On your family and your counselor. They want to help you, right, and they will if you let them. Just, just let them.”

“You said you’d help me,” Lachlan says, voice small and hurt. “You said.” His eyes well with tears. “I was doing better, wasn’t I? Like you wanted.”

Aaron has no idea what he's supposed to do with this. He hadn’t realized that Lachlan had grown this attached; doesn’t understand why he would. Even the letters he’d read hadn’t prepared him for this.

“You have to stop this,” he says, shaking his head. “You can’t – you shouldn’t make my opinion this important. We're not mates, Lachlan. I was trying to help you out but I can’t anymore. I just can’t. And you, you need to be around people who care about you, not some bloke who only showed up in the first place to warn you off his sister.” He stands. “Stop trying to contact me.”

Lachlan stands, too, and reaches for him. Aaron thinks he’s making to hit him or shove him and puts his hands up in an instinctive warding gesture, and is caught completely off guard when Lachlam grabs them, gripping them with a panicky tightness. It hurts; Aaron's entire body tightens as if in preparation for a fight and starts to pull away, only dimly aware of the shouting of the guards and not even seeing several of them start to make their way over at speed. Lachlan leans in close, shoves his face right into Aaron's, and Aaron gapes at how wild he suddenly looks.

“Please, please don’t. I know you care about me; why are you lying? I know you came here because you do. It doesn’t matter what mum says, I’ll take care of it, just, please –“

Aaron wrenches his hands out of Lachlan’s clammy grip just as the first of the officers gets to them and drags Lachlan away. Lachlan struggles, eyes wide and full of sudden, awful hate, lips curled into a sneer. 

“This isn’t because of mum at all, is it? It’s Robert. It’s always Robert. What did he say? Did he say I threatened him? Because he threatened me, he said that bruises would be the least of what I got if I didn’t leave you alone. He laughed when he saw them, did you know? Said it was what I deserved. Like he’s so great. He’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt you like he hurts everyone and then you’ll see, you’ll see. I'll make you see. I'll-”

Aaron backs away rapidly, nearly running into the officer behind him. He puts a hand on Aaron’s arm, and Aaron flinches away, eyes glued to Lachlan who’s still struggling, two officers now pulling him back, out of the room. His mouth is still moving, words are still pouring out of him, but Aaron thankfully can’t hear them over the commotion around him. Lachlan’s outburst has riled up the other prisoners; they are shouting and jeering at the officers, at Lachlan, at Aaron. 

“Are you okay, sir?” the officer asks, and Aaron nods, turning to face him as Lachlan is finally dragged out of sight. Even more yellow vests are now in the room, announcing that visiting hour has been cut short, sorry for the inconvenience, do come again later. Now everyone is grumbling and glaring at Aaron, but he hardly notices. His chest feels tight. 

“Fine,” he says, shoving his hands in his hoodie to hide the way they shake. “Excuse me.” He moves around the man, intent on getting the hell out of there. 

“Sir? You left this.” 

Aaron turns. The officer is holding up the letter. “You aren’t supposed to leave anything with the inmates.”

Aaron shakes his head. “I wasn’t trying to,” he says. He takes the letter and then practically runs out of the room, weaving in and out of visitors and police alike, barely hearing the anger or the concern that follows in his wake. He rips up the letter as he goes, keeps ripping until the pieces in his hands are too small to rip any longer. Small pieces slip from his fingers and flutter to the floor, but he doesn’t notice. He tosses the remains of the letter in a waste receptacle near the front desk and then he’s outside, the air cooling his flushed face.

Lachlan’s outburst had been upsetting but not entirely unexpected, although he hadn’t thought the lad would grab at him the way he had. Aaron can still feel that clammy grip; he scrubs his hands down his pants, mouth turned down in distaste. He is fiercely glad that this whole thing is over. He knows now that he never should have let it get this far. Lachlan can’t be helped; he’d seen that clearly today, seen it in his hate-bright eyes as Lachlan had been pulled out of the room, had heard it in his voice. There’s something missing there, and no amount of visits from Aaron or his mum or even his counselor are going to be able to fix that. He thinks briefly of Belle and Liv, of their brief friendships with Lachlan, and shudders. He wonders if they know how lucky they got, that Lachlan hadn't fixated on them the same way he did on Alicia. 

Once he’s calmed down a bit, he gets in his car and drives away, and the relief that fills him is sharp and nearly overwhelming. His involvement with Lachlan has been making him uncomfortable for a while now, and knowing that it’s finally over feels like a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders.   
“And you just had to go and see him, did you? Couldn’t find some other way to get him to leave off?”

Aaron pauses in the act of lifting his fork to his mouth to give Robert an exasperated look. “Tried all that, didn’t I, the first time? Nothing else worked. It’s fine. It’s done. We are officially rid of that family.” 

“Mostly,” Robert agrees. “Word is that Lachlan is getting an early release. Am I going to have to worry about him stalking you ‘round the village and taking creepy photos?”

“What are you gonna do if he does? Carry out those threats you made to him before?”

“I told you, I just said that stuff to make him back off. I wasn’t actually going to do any of it.”

Aaron fiddles with his silverware a moment. “You did say that you would have gone after him, before.”

Robert shrugs. “I didn’t mean it then, either,” he says, but he won’t meet Aaron’s eyes.

“Robert.”

Robert lets his own knife and fork drop to his plate. “What do you want me to say? I told you I wouldn’t have done it; can’t you just leave it at that?”

“Not if it’s not the truth.” Aaron searches Robert’s face. Robert clenches his jaw and keeps his eyes on his plate. Aaron sighs. “Wasn’t it you who said we can’t go threatening children?”

“You said it first,” Robert replies in a mulish tone, scowling. 

“Yeah, and then you repeated it. Remember? He’s just a kid, isn’t that what you said? No need to go all bodyguard, you said. Let it alone, you-“

“Well, that was before you almost died!” Robert hits his hand on the table and finally looks up, and Aaron is floored to see that his eyes are filled with tears.

“Robert-“ he says, reaching for him.

“No,” Robert says, pulling away. “No, you want to know what was different, right? Well I’ll tell you. Your heart stopped in that ambulance, Aaron. Stopped. You could have died in there and I wouldn’t have even known, because I went back in that lake for him. I left you and I went back, and the whole time he was just standing there, watching. You went off on him just for threatening to get me banged up, so don’t you dare-“

“Fighting again?” Liv comes in with a bottle of orange juice and a smirk. “Way you two go on, maybe you should just pack it in while there’s still time.” She’s mostly speaking to Aaron; always speaks mostly to Aaron these days. She still hasn’t gotten over her ire and while most of the time Aaron is content to let it alone if Robert is, right now he can’t. 

“That’s enough,” he snaps. “You need to get over this attitude now. If you can’t, you can shut your gob n’ all.”

Liv gives him a stricken look that turns defiant a moment later. Aaron readies himself for whatever is going to come out of her mouth, but then her eyes land on Robert and she falters, her brow furrowing. “What’s with him?” she demands.

Aaron shakes his head. “None of your business,” he says. “You hungry? There’s still some left if you want it.” He gestures towards the kitchen, hoping to distract her from Robert. 

Liv shakes her head. “I ate with Gabby.” She bites her lip, still looking at Robert. Her clear worry has Aaron breathing an inward sigh of relief. He’d hoped that her continued anger was mostly for show, but it’s good to have the confirmation of it. 

“Vegan food, though. Can’t be very filling,” Robert says. 

Liv scowls at him, but it’s not as fierce as usual. “What would you know about it?” she asks. “You ever tried it?” She looks at Aaron, scowl getting worse. “There’s someone in the bar for you. Not you,” she tells Robert. “Just Aaron.”

Aaron tilts his head. “What are you on about?”

“Her,” Liv says with as much disdain as she can muster. “The one he had in here.” She doubles her glare at Robert, and Aaron rolls his eyes.   
“Rebecca White’s out there? Looking for me?”

“S’what I said, isn’t it?” 

“Why?”

“She didn’t tell me, did she? Just asked if you were around. I told her I’d look.” She brightens. “I’ll just pop back out and say you’re gone then.”

“No,” Aaron says, standing, “I’ll go see what she wants.” He’ll give her that much for not barging her way back here. Besides, he owes her for trying to warn him about Chrissie.

Robert makes to stand as well, and Liv’s head whips toward him. “She didn’t ask for you,” she snaps. “You should stay here.”

“I don’t take orders from gobby little teenagers, sorry.”

“Both of you stay here. Liv. Sit. Eat something. Robert, don’t start. What do you think she's here to do, kill me? Not likely in the middle of a busy pub, is it, and I can’t handle her plus the two of you breathing down my neck. I mean it,” he says when Robert starts to shake his head. “I’m fine. If you come along it’ll just wind her up. So stay. Here.”

“You sure?” Robert asks, and Liv sends him a startled glance out of the corner of her eye.

Aaron gives him a small smile. “I’m sure.” He waits until Liv reluctantly sits herself at the table and stars eating before heading into the pub.   
Rebecca favors him with a wry twist of her lips when he sits next to her at the bar. “No bodyguard? I would have thought I warranted that much, from the way your little sister was acting.”

“Why are you here? I thought we didn’t have anything more to say to each other.”

She sighs. “After this we really won’t. I’m leaving Emmerdale for good, and you’re my last stop.” She lowers her voice a bit, mindful of their audience: Chas is at the end of the bar, not making much effort to hide her curiosity. “I wanted to let you know that your sister is in the clear. For good. Consider it a gift upon my departure. You're welcome.”

Aaron frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Seems I was half right, after all. Chrissie did overhear my conversation with Ronnie, but only enough to know that my car was vandalized and that your name was mentioned. She kept quiet about it because there was even less evidence of that than of the kidnapping she accused you of. But then when Lachlan refused to help her, and you went back –“

Aaron holds up a hand to stop her speaking. “Wait. How does she know I went – Lachlan.”

“Lachlan. I’m sure of it. Chrissie went for her regular visit and came back fuming. She was going on about how you didn’t know to leave well enough alone and she was going to make you. That’s when she mentioned the car.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “So do I have another visit from the police to look forward to?”

“No; weren’t you listening? I took care of it. I happened to hear her telling dad about her plans to phone the police, so I was able set her straight before she made a mistake. I explained to her that the car had been the collateral damage of a rather nasty break up, which is the real reason I was so eager to leave France behind when Robert called. I assumed that the man in question would give up once I was out of his reach; turned out I hadn’t gone far enough.” She tips him a wink. “At least it was just a car and nothing else. I had originally thought you were the culprit as it happened just after our confrontation here, and assumed that you had done something to my car out of spite. I was also a bit put out by the fact that Robert chose you over me.” She frowns a little. “That part wasn’t even a lie. I was put out. However, certain messages from my angry ex-boyfriend have since made me think otherwise.”

Aaron raised a brow. “Convenient, that. And what about the CCTV?”

“Would you believe that I never even thought to check it? It never occurred to me that we’d have such a set up around Home Farm, and then of course when it finally did the day’s footage had already been overlaid. I could just kick myself for it, but perhaps it’s for the best. Imagine what this ex would have done had he been able to take his rage out on me. If all I had to suffer was a vandalized car I’ll consider myself lucky.” She waves her hand as if brushing something out of her way. "Besides, it's not as if he did the deed himself. He'd have hired someone else to do it."

He shakes his head. “And Chrissie believed all that?”

She shrugs. “Not exactly, but she can’t prove otherwise. Dad believed it, or he said he did, and that’s the important thing. She won’t do anything if dad isn’t behind her, not now. Not when it’s his money that’s making it possible for Lachlan to come home so much sooner than planned.”

Aaron looks at her for a long moment. “Why are you doing this? Why keep helping me?”

“Because you don’t deserve what she’s trying to do to you. You were trying to do something decent. It’s not your fault my entire family is insane.” She gives a small unhappy laugh. “I wanted so badly to make amends, but now I’m afraid that if I stay here I’ll just end up becoming like them, and I don’t want that. I’m not very nice, or particularly good, but I’m not yet the kind of person who punishes someone else for my failings.” One shoulder comes up in a brief shrug. “Give me a year or two, maybe I’ll think differently.”

Aaron shakes his head, smiling a little despite himself. “I doubt that.”

“Well, I’ve done what I came to do, and now I have a plane to catch.” Rebecca stands up. She takes a jacket and hat from the back of her seat and puts them on. “It’s definitely been interesting knowing you, Aaron Dingle. You know, I think that if I had met you before all of this we might have been friends.” She tilts her head and studies his face, which he knows must show his skepticism. “Then again, perhaps we wouldn’t. Either way, I bet you’ll agree with me when I say that I hope we don’t meet again.”

“You’re not wrong,” he agrees, then smiles. “But you’re not that bad you know. It’s possible we might have got on.”

Rebecca beams at him, then her smile slowly fades. “Be careful,” she says. “Careful of them…and of him.” And then she’s leaves. Aaron watches her go and thinks that while he's not bothered to see the back of her - one less White in the village can only be a good thing, as far as he's concerned - he hadn't been lying, either. Surprisingly, she'd turned out to be the best of the lot. 

“What was that about?” Chas asks. Aaron rolls his eyes, knowing that she’s been watching them the entire time, trying her best to overhear the conversation in between punters. 

“Saying goodbye,” he says. 

“Since when were you two friendly enough for that?”

Aaron shakes his head. “We’re not, not really,” he says, “We just understand each other a bit.” He gives her a smile. “What say you give us a couple of pints to take back? Liv and Robert have been sorting their differences while we had our chat out here.”

“He’ll need it,” Chas agrees, and grabs two glasses. She sends him a few curious glances as she pulls the pints, but seems willing to let it go, at least for now. Aaron breathes an inward sigh of relief. It’s going to be difficult enough explaining this whole thing to Robert without working him up into a lather; the last thing he needs is his mum there making it worse. 


	13. Chapter 13

He expects Chrissie to carry on with her revenge agenda, and she does, but the attempts are half-hearted at best. There’s a small attempt to mess with the garage, but Cain takes care of that almost faster than she can start it, and somehow winds up with full ownership of the garage to boot. Aaron isn’t sure how he manages that, and doesn’t ask. Sometimes it’s better not to know, when it comes to Cain.   
  
She takes a few small swipes at Home James as well, but they’re weak enough that Robert confides to Aaron he’s not sure why she even bothered. 

The only thing that she attempts that has a chance of sticking is trying to get the zoning permit for the scrapyard revoked, on the grounds that the area that they are taking up is not what was originally claimed. But fortunately, Eric has a reason to make sure that the worst that happens is that an amendment is created to the original agreement that covers the extra area – he still practically owns the committee, he has a stake in the scrapyard, and he still hates Chrissie – so though they do lose out on a week of work waiting for the new papers to be approved and filed it’s not nearly as bad as she intended.   
  
After that Chrissie seems to just give it up. Aaron would wonder why – he knows how bad Chrissie can get when she wants – except it’s all over the village that Lachlan White is soon to return to his family’s fold, released on license thanks to some serious footwork by his solicitors. Money really does make all the difference, and Chrissie is far too busy preparing for Lachlan’s return to focus too much on whatever schemes she might have had in the works for Aaron. He doesn’t know if that will continue to be the case once Lachlan is back at home, but he has a feeling it might. They’ve seen each other around the village once or twice since Lachlan’s return became a certainty, and although if looks could kill Aaron would be dead fifty times over, Chrissie hasn’t paid him much attention.  
  
The biggest problem that they are facing actually has nothing to do with the Whites at all, for once. Fire damage on the Mill has turned out to be worse than at first suspected, and because that isn’t bad enough, they’d also uncovered a load of asbestos that has to be remediated before the contractors can return to their work, so their tentative move in date will have to be pushed back by several weeks, at least.  
  
They don’t really have the money for it, is the thing, and as Aaron is still refusing to let Liv put any more money into the Mill, they won’t have for a while yet. It’s made things a bit tense at home. Robert and Liv are in agreement that the money should be used if they have it – Robert with the caveat that they pay her back in installments and Liv with the declaration that she doesn’t care about the money anyway, so they might as well put it to good use – and their continued hints (and in Liv’s case, outright badgering) to him to use it sometimes have Aaron wishing that they’d never sorted their differences. If Liv was still playing at being mad at Robert she’d be refusing to use the money simply because it would also benefit him. But Aaron had forced her to talk to him and now the two of them are, while not best mates, at least friendly enough that Robert living with them is no longer a reason for her to hesitate about using her money.   
  
As if that isn’t enough, Kasim is soon to be leaving the village. After months of estrangement, he and his parents are attempting to repair their fractured relationship, and he has agreed to move back to the city to be closer to them while they try to work it out. Adam is still mostly occupied with the farm so it will be Aaron and Aaron alone at the scrapyard until he can find some other help. He and Kasim have been working longer hours than usual in preparation of this – they want to get as much done as possible so that Aaron won’t be overwhelmed when it’s just him again – and the week that they’d lost due to Chrissie’s meddling has set them back a bit. Robert is also working longer hours – Home James has recently landed a big new client and Robert is on his laptop even when he’s home, hammering out the finer details and working out the inevitable kinks. He might be able to help out occasionally at the yard in about a month or so, but now it just isn’t possible – not that Aaron would ask or he would offer, at any rate. He and Kasim don’t get on, and Aaron doesn’t need the headache that trying to make the two of them behave would induce. He thinks that Kasim would put in the effort to get along if Robert did, but Robert clearly has no desire to and Aaron doesn’t see the point of forcing the issue.  
  
Both of their tempers, not great at the best of times, are fraying, and they often spend what little time they do have together snapping at each other irritably, enough so that Chas has kicked them out of the back room more than once so that she can watch telly in peace. So they go upstairs and work off their frustration in another way, ripping off clothes and sucking marks into skin, going at it until they can do little more than curl together in the wreck of their bed, too exhausted and sated to fight any longer.   
  
“We should skip the fighting next time and go straight to this,” Robert suggests one night as they lie in bed, giving Aaron a soft nudge. “Might get us back in Chas’ good books again.”  
  
“Might not,” Aaron says. His eyes are closed and he’s on the cusp of sleep, his words slurring slightly. He knows that he should at least get under the covers but he’s feeling too languid to move at the moment, body pleasantly worn out and ready to crash. He’s got another early day at the scrapyard tomorrow and probably another one after that. “She says we’re too loud.”  
  
“You mean _I’m_ too loud. That’s part of why we wanted our own place, remember?” he sighs. “I know you don’t want to hear this again, but with that money-“  
  
Just like that, Aaron is no longer on the verge of sleep. “I said no,” he says, and tries to roll away from Robert. Robert doesn’t let him though; gets his hand around his arm and pulls him back.   
  
“I know you did, but what I don’t get is _why_. It’s not like she’d be giving us the money. It’d be a loan, and we’d pay her back with interest. C’mon Aaron, you know I’m not gonna cheat your sister out of her dosh.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “I know that. Of course I know that. But things always come up, and we’d never be able to pay her back.” He shrugs. “I know she says she doesn’t care, and that she doesn’t need the money, but she’s only fourteen. She’ll want it eventually and I can’t let her sink it all into the Mill. She’s given enough.”  
  
“Aaron-“  
  
“No. She’s done enough. She’s not gonna be here forever, Robert. She’ll grow up and want out of the village, and with that money she can. She can go wherever she wants. Do you get it?”  
  
Robert sighs. “Yeah. I get it. We’ll just have to do less. The main rooms are livable, and as for the rest…there’s time.” He begins to run his fingers up and down Aaron’s arm. “Don’t know what we were thinking, buying such a big place.”  
  
“You let my mum get her way.” Aaron kisses the side of Robert’s neck; Robert hums and tilts his head to give him better access. “And you like the idea of a big place. Admit it, you’d never be happy somewhere as tiny as Vic and Adam’s.”  
  
“I’d manage, if you were there.” Robert pulls away from Aaron’s mouth so that he can look at him properly. “Are you saying you wanted a somewhere smaller?”  
  
“There wasn’t anything else available, was there? Nothing that would fit all three of us.” Aaron smiles at Robert’s frown, reaches up and strokes the line between his brows. “I don’t mind a big place.” He hesitates, then says the rest in a rush. “I would live pretty much anywhere. If it was with you.” He still isn’t comfortable saying things like this, doesn’t know if he ever will be, but he knows how much Robert likes hearing them. He can’t always give them to him, but he tries when he can.   
  
Sure enough, Robert’s eyes go soft and fond. His hand moves from Aaron’s arm to cup his face, and he kisses him one, two, three times, sweetly. Then he grins. “What if I asked you to move into a tiny, one bedroom flat? Or an old farm? Or a caravan in the middle of the scrapya-ow!” he rubs his side where Aaron elbowed him. “Is that a no, then? Because I’m seriously considering it.”  
  
“I’d live with you in a tent outside the Mill if that’s what you wanted, and you know it,” Aaron says, rolling his eyes. “But your posh arse would be back here in less than a day, crying for poncy shower gel.”  
  
Robert laughs. “Says the one who complains about hard floors and drafts and awful smells.”  
  
“Don’t see the point, really, when we have a perfectly good bed right here,” Aaron agrees with a grin. He digs his chin into Robert’s shoulder just to make him squirm. “It’s a setback, but we’ll get there,” he says.   
  
“I know,” Robert turns and wraps an arm around Aaron. His eyes are closed and his breathing is changing, slowing as he slides towards sleep. Aaron feels himself following. He turns to his own side and smiles when Robert plasters himself to his back.   
  
Robert kisses his shoulder. “When we do move in,” he says in a soft, drowsy voice, “I’m going to spend an entire day making you scream.”  
  
Aaron’s going to tease him for that, of course he is, but he falls asleep before the thought is fully formed.

*

On Kasim’s last day at the yard, both Aaron and Adam insist on leaving early so that they can head out later for drinks on them. He says it's fine, they don't have two, but they won’t have it – he’s been a huge help to them, they insist. They want to send him off in style. “Besides,” Adam says with a grin, “it’s not like you have to get up early and rush to work tomorrow.”   
  
“But you do,” Kasim counters. His eyes dart to Aaron and then away. “It’d be weird, being the only one really drinking.”  
  
“Oh, that’s not going to happen,” Adam says, laughing. “We’re going to give you a proper send off, us. Already got a taxi booked for town an’ all. Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve gone into work with a hangover, would it?” he asks, clapping Aaron on the back.   
  
“Or the last,” Aaron agrees. He smiles at Kasim. “We’ll be going with or without you, mate. Might as well enjoy a few drinks on us.”  
  
They all need the night out. They’ve been doing nothing but work for weeks now, and have been far too tired to even try and get anything together. Kasim’s departure is as good an excuse as any to take a brief break and relax.   
  
“You should come,” Aaron says to Robert later. They’re sitting in the pub with pints, waiting for Adam and Kasim to show up.   
  
Robert shakes his head. “Not really in the mood,” he says. His hand finds Aaron’s thigh and he gives it a light squeeze. “You could stay here instead.” The hand drifts higher.   
  
Aaron pushes it off with a laugh. “Can’t. Half of this is my treat.”  
  
Robert frowns. “What happened to saving money for the Mill?”  
  
“I am, but I can’t let Kasim leave without a proper send off, now can I?”  
  
“Oh, right, wouldn’t want _Kasim_ to feel unappreciated,” Robert says, sneering slightly. Aaron raises an eyebrow and Robert scowls. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “He knows I’m engaged, Robert. He’s hardly going to try anything.” He smiles and leans into Robert’s space, lowers his voice. “But if you’re really worried about it you can always come along. Keep a proper eye on me.”  
  
“Are you telling me I need to?”  
  
“No, of course not.” Aaron pulls back. “I just thought you might enjoy the break, is all.”  
  
Robert shrugs. “You know I don’t like that place.”  
  
“Yeah, well this isn’t for you, is it?” Aaron doesn’t exactly mean to snap, but Robert’s obvious distaste for anything he deems too _gay_ gets his back up. “It’s for Kasim, and unlike you, he _does_ like it.” He knows he’s said the completely wrong thing when Robert bristles, but he doesn’t take it back.   
  
“You know what? I think I’m tired; think I’ll head upstairs. You have a good night with your _mates_.”  
  
“Don’t bother waiting up,” Aaron calls after his retreating back. “In fact, I might just kip at Adam’s, depending on when we get back.” Robert stops for a moment, shoulders visibly stiffening, and then he continues on without turning around. Aaron closes his eyes and shakes his head.   
  
“You two at it again, then? Can you even go a day without biting each other’s heads off?” Charity sounds highly amused. “Keep going on like this and you’ll have wedding rows in place of vows.” She laughs at her own wit, and Aaron glares at her.   
  
“Go away, Charity.”  
  
“Aw, truth hard to hear?”  
  
“Just sick of you stepping in where you’re not wanted is all.”  
  
“It’s not like I can turn my ears off, is it? You lot are always at it over something; I can’t help but hear.” She gives him a tight smile. “Weren’t you supposed to be moving or sommat?”  
  
“Something like that.” He stares down at his half full pint, good mood gone.   
  
“Oh, good God,” Charity mutters, then disappears. A few seconds later a shot is slammed down in front of him. “Drink that and stop your moping; it’s boring.”  
  
Aaron gives her two fingers but takes the shot, wincing against the burn of alcohol down his throat.   
  
“Oi, you started without us!” A heavy hand slaps down on his back and he slips forwards on the stool. The hand gets hold of his shoulder and rights him. “Don’t tell me you’re already drunk.”  
  
Aaron scowls. “I’ve had one,” he says. “Don’t worry about me; you’re the lightweight ‘round here.”  
  
“That’s only because Vic had me on that crazy diet of hers. But now she’s caught that’s over, and I am ready to go.” Adam leans across the bar. “Charity! Give us three more of whatever that was, and three pints,” He grins at Aaron. “You’re getting this round, right?”  
  
“Yeah go on, but I don’t need another pint; I’ve still got one.” He points to his glass for emphasis.  
  
Adam shakes his head. “Well I didn’t order anything for you. We’ve got to catch up, don’t we? Ah, cheers, Charity,” he says as she brings the drinks over and sets them down in front of him. “Mr. Moneybags here has the first round. Bring the rest over after you’ve settled, yeah?”   
  
Sat at the table behind Aaron are Finn and Kasim, both of them looking slightly uncomfortable. Aaron raises an eyebrow as he sits down, and Kasim gives him a faint smile. Finn’s eyes follow Kasim’s and he frowns lightly, then looks down at the table.   
  
After the first shot, everyone begins to loosen up a bit, and by the time that the taxis arrive they are all much more relaxed, joking and laughing.  
  
“Isn’t Robert coming?” Adam asks as they start to pile in. “There’s plenty of room.”  
  
“Nah, this isn’t really his thing,” Aaron says with a shrug. His irritation with Robert had faded as they drank and laughed, but he can feel it creeping back. He does his best to shake it off.   
  
“Ah, well. His loss.” Adam says cheerfully, then shoves Aaron into one of the taxis and clambers in after him.  
  
“Yeah,” Aaron agrees. He turns his head to look out the window so that Adam won’t see his expression and start asking questions. He’s determined not to bring his issues into what is supposed to be a fun night out. His eyes catch on a figure standing across the road from the pub and he frowns. At first he thinks that it’s Robert, but then he realizes that the form is too short, the frame too stocky, and as they pull away the lights of the taxi behind them catch on the figure and he realizes that it’s Lachlan White. He’s just standing there, watching the taxis, and Aaron meets his eyes and shivers slightly, unnerved. Unbidden, he remembers the last time he’d seen Lachlan. The hate is missing from his eyes now, but they still look wild, though he supposes that could be a trick of the light.   
  
“You okay?” Adam asks, and Aaron’s turns briefly to look at him.  
  
“Yeah, I just saw…” he looks back out the window, but Lachlan is gone, and peer as he might into the darkness beyond the street lamps he can see nothing, no movement at all. He frowns, confused.   
  
“Saw what?” Adam peers over his shoulder.   
  
“Nothing, I guess.” Aaron shakes his head. “Must have imagined it.”  
  
“How much did you have to drink again?”   
  
He rolls his eyes. “Not nearly enough,” he says, and Adam laughs.  
  
“Don’t worry mate; we’ll soon fix that.”

They start off at Bar West but soon move on to a nearby club because Kasim wants to dance. It’s not exactly Aaron’s scene, but they are not here for him, so he goes along with it. Adam is drunk and having a great time, and he allows himself to be pulled out onto the dancefloor by an equally drunk Kasim, much to Aaron’s amusement. He laughs and snaps a picture of the two of them dancing and sends it to Vic, to her delight. Upon her request he takes several more, even shoots a video, and they spend a few minutes mocking his awful dancing.

Finn is sitting at the table with him but he isn’t talking, choosing instead to watch Kasim and Adam while he downs drink after drink, his face getting cloudier and cloudier as time passes. Aaron thinks briefly of telling him to slow down, then lets it go. It’s none of his business. 

Aaron finishes his conversation with Vic and thinks briefly of texting Robert, but thinks better of it. Robert’s probably sleeping and if he isn’t he’s definitely sulking, and Aaron doesn’t want to spend the next hour arguing via text. He pockets the mobile and studies Finn for a moment, until he feels his gaze and turns to look at him.

“What?” he asks, and Aaron only barely refrains from rolling his eyes at the tone.

“You should go dance,” he says, “instead of sitting here and drinking. You can hardly be worse out there than Adam, and you’ll never get his attention if you don’t do anything.” He isn’t usually given to dispensing romantic advice, as he doesn’t have a lot of real experience with it, but both Finn and Kasim are mates. He wants to help them both out if he can.

Finn scoffs and downs the rest of his drink. Aaron frowns. Is that his fourth or his fifth? “I’ll never get his attention anyway,” he says, bitter. “I could strip naked right here and he’d still be looking at you, and you don’t even have to try.”

Aaron starts to say that isn’t true, but he happens to look up at the dancefloor, and his eyes meet Kasim’s. Normally one or the other of them would look away, but alcohol has made Kasim brave and Aaron stupid, and they hold the gaze until Adam does a particularly enthusiastic move that knocks him into Kasim, and the contact is broken. Swallowing hard, Aaron turns to look at Finn, who is giving him an unpleasant smile.

“See?” he says. “No one in the room but you. Perfect Aaron.”

“Okay, no,” he says, stung. “M’not perfect. Far from it, mate. And maybe he would have looked at you if you had been just a little less creepy, yeah? If you had actually gotten to know him instead of inventing this big romance in your head. Maybe finding out about all that’s what turned him off.”

“Or maybe it was you flirting with him did that,” Finn says, voice rising. “Maybe if you weren’t always around, smiling at him and making him think he had a chance, he would have been able to look at me. Or maybe it was more than that. Maybe you weren’t actually working all those long hours at the scrapyard.”

Aaron raises his eyebrows. “You’re joking me,” he says. “He’s a mate. And I’m with Robert, or have you forgotten?” he waves the hand with the ring on it in front of him for emphasis.

Finn laughs nastily. “Like that matters. It’s not like it stopped you before.”

Aaron stares at him, completely floored. “That was different.”

“Was it? Where _is_ Robert, Aaron? If he were here would you be looking at him like that?” he jerks his head towards the dancefloor and smirks.

Aaron shakes his head. “You’re drunk,” he says. “I’ll get you some water.” He stands, and Finn grabs his wrist.

“You call me pathetic, but you’re worse,” he says. “Leading Kasim on to feel good about yourself. Why do you have to mess him about? Wasn’t ruining Robert’s life enough?”

Aaron jerks his wrist out of Finn’s hold. His hands clench into furious fists and he knows that if he doesn’t move he’s going to hit him. He whirls and gets out of there, stalking his way through the club without seeing much of anything, heedless of the way that people scatter around him, the anger on his face making them feel it would be best to move out of his way. Outside he paces furiously and tries to calm himself down, but instead he just gets more and more worked up, Finn’s voice an endless loop in his head. _Wasn’t ruining Robert’s life enough?_

“Aaron. Aaron! You alright, mate?” Adam puts a hand on his shoulder, and Aaron is on such a hair trigger that he comes very close to punching his best friend. He reigns it in, however, and nods instead, stepping out of Adam’s reach.

“Yeah, fine. Just needed some air.”

“Sure you did. Look, whatever Finn said, don’t worry about it too much, okay? He’s blattered and he’s upset that Kasim’s leaving, that’s all. He didn’t mean anything by it, whatever it was.”

Aaron nods. “Sure, I know. But I think I’m gonna head back.”

“Yeah, we’re all ready. You call the taxi and I’ll get the others out here, alright?”

The ride back is very quiet. Adam bundles Finn into the front of the taxi and then the other three climb in back, Aaron somehow winding up pressed in the middle. They aren’t five minutes into the drive when both Adam and Finn pass out, Adam’s head knocking heavily into Aaron’s shoulder. It’s very quiet save the soft sound of the radio, and until Kasim speaks Aaron is sure he is sleeping as well.

“Thank you for tonight,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry for how it ended, but I had a good time.”

Aaron turns to look at him, startled by just how close his face is. “You shouldn’t be apologizing,” he says, just as quiet. “We got drunk and stupid is all; that wasn’t your fault.”

Kasim doesn’t reply; he looks intently at Aaron for a second and then leans towards him. Aaron pulls back and turns his head, and Kasim’s lips brush against his jaw.

“Oh God,” Kasim says, and slides as far away from Aaron as the seat will allow. “I’m sorry, Aaron, I shouldn’t’ve…”

“It’s fine. You’re drunk. We’re all drunk,” Aaron says, but he keeps his face turned firmly away from Kasim for the rest of the drive.


	14. Chapter 14

“Thought you might be able to use this.” The voice makes Aaron lift his head despite how much it aches. Kasim is standing in the doorway of the portacabin, holding a cardboard cup of coffee up like a peace offering. He can’t nod - nodding makes his head hurt - but Kasim seems to understand; he smiles a little and steps forward to place the coffee on the desk, then takes a large step back. Aaron pauses in the act of reaching for the coffee to raise an eyebrow and Kasim blushes, ducking his head.   
  
Aaron peers at him over the lid of his coffee cup. The light spilling in behind Kasim hurts his eyes and he winces. “Shut the door,” he croaks, and Kasim does, though he still doesn’t move farther into the room.   
  
“How much _did_ you drink last night?” he asks curiously. “You seemed fairly sober.” He winces slightly. “More so than the rest of us, anyway.”  
  
Aaron shrugs, closing his eyes as he sips at his coffee. “I had a bit,” he hedges, not wanting to admit that most of it had been after he’d returned home. He hadn’t wanted to go upstairs and instead had sat on the sofa with a bottle of whiskey, trying and failing not to obsess about all the things that had happened that night. It hadn’t worked very well. Finally he’d stumbled up to bed, fell face down on the covers and passed out, only to be prodded awake far too early by an amused Robert. It seemed that their small spat had been forgotten in the wake of being able to make fun of Aaron for being a lightweight.  
  
“Well, I just came to say goodbye. And to apologize.” Kasim shakes his head, lips pursed. “I should never have –“  
  
“You were pissed, alright,” Aaron interrupts, not wanting to hear the apology. Not sure he deserves one. “It was nothing; it’s forgotten.”  
  
Kasim sighs, then nods slightly. “Yeah, okay. Okay. Well, I guess I should be off, then," He gives Aaron a small smile. "Take care, Aaron.”  
  
“Yeah, you too,” Aaron says. He would like to tell Kasim to keep in touch, but he thinks that might not be the best idea. For either of them. Because for a moment last night, Aaron had thought about letting Kasim kiss him. It was only a split second, there and gone before he was really aware of it, but he’d been tempted. It’s shaken him a bit when he'd realized that the night before, but now he can’t help but wonder if Finn was right; if he’s been encouraging Kasim’s infatuation with him because it makes him feel good about himself.  
  
After Kasim leaves, Aaron slowly finishes his coffee, trying to put off working as long as possible. Unfortunately, he knows that he has to get up and get started, so he braces himself and stands, shuffling his way to the door with his eyes already squinted almost completely closed in preparation for the light that will soon be assaulting them. He opens the door and winces against the pain that the light sends drilling into his head, then his eyes widen, all pain forgotten as he registers the figure standing on the steps, arm raised as if to knock. They both take surprised steps backwards.   
  
“Hi,” Lachlan says, and smiles.

Aaron stares. “What are you doing here?” he asks, then, “you shouldn’t be here.”

The smile slips off of Lachlan’s face. He buries his hands in the hoodie he’s wearing and hunches his shoulders. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Aaron steps outside, shuts the portacabin door and stands in front of it, crossing his arms. “Were you outside the pub last night? Watching us?”

“I just wanted to see you. I wanted to talk.”

Aaron shakes his head. “You can’t keep doing this. You get that? You –“

“I do. I do get that. I just. I wanted to see you. To tell you that I’m still trying. With mom. I’m trying. And I know that we’re not…that you don’t want me around. I know that everything got crazy the last time I saw you. I’m sorry.” He scuffs at the ground with is shoe, looking down. When he looks back up his eyes are wet with tears. “It was hard in there. It was awful and I thought I was never getting out, and you made it better. I know,” he says, putting up a hand as if to stave Aaron off. “I know that’s not your job. But you helped.” He sniffles, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. “I just, when you said that you were done, I just knew I’d be alone again. In that place. I freaked out, and I’m sorry.”

Aaron thinks about it; remembers how desperate he’d been when he had been banged up for shooting Robert and sighs. “Alright. I get that. But you’re not alone, are ya? You have people, and they’ll help you if you let them. So let them.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will. I just wanted to say-“

“Yeah, I got it. You’re sorry. It’s fine. Just...stay away from now on, right? Keep to your people.”

Lachlan bites his lip, then nods. “I will.” He hesitates. “You’re a good person. I didn’t know that before, but now I do. I know you think that you didn’t, but you helped me a lot.” A smile twitches over his face. It isn’t happy. “I know you don’t like me, but you still talked to me. So thanks.”

Aaron doesn’t respond. He can’t; pity is welling in him, and he knows that whatever he might say would be too soft, and the last thing he wants or needs is Lachlan thinking that they might be able to be mates. His pity does not extend that far.

Lachlan doesn’t seem to be expecting an answer. He nods again. “See you around, I guess,” he says, and then trudges out of the scrapyard, shoulders hunched and feet dragging. Aaron breathes a sigh of relief. He’s not afraid of Lachlan, but he does make Aaron uneasy. Something about the way that he looks at him, maybe, or the way that he talks. The way he got so attached so quickly. Aaron stomach turns, and it occurs to him that maybe he’d decided that he was feeling well enough to work far too soon. He feels bile start to rise up in his throat and barely makes it around the side of the portacabin before he is sick.

Once that’s finished, he actually feels much better. He rinses his mouth with a bottle of water from the portacabin and then once he’s sure his stomach has settled he forces himself to get to work. He’s still too fuzzy in the head to try adding the books, but Kasim has kept them in such good order that he’s not really fussed about it. Instead he lets his thoughts clear completely, focusing on the task at hand and forcing everything else out of his mind. He’s promised to meet Robert for lunch later and he’s not going to be able to get there on time if he doesn’t get this car sorted. Ripping the guts out of it is just the sort of mindless work that his hangover needs and soon enough he’s fallen into the rhythm of it, letting his mind float and not really thinking about anything. 

He finishes gutting the car just before lunch. He’s actually hungry; the work has helped clear his head and he feels almost perfectly normal for the first time since waking. It’s a fine day and he decides to forgo his car and just walk to the pub; he makes sure that the portacabin is locked and then he heads out, wondering what weird special Marlon might have concocted for today’s lunch. 

It turns out to be seafood hodgepodge. Ever since Chas had insulted it long ago, Marlon has been on a mission to perfect his recipe, so every few weeks it pops up as a special, to entice more people to try it. Aaron’s never been a fan of the stuff; he wrinkles his nose when Marlon suggests it and orders a burger and chips, thanks. Robert however _does_ order the special – it amuses him to give Marlon his critique on the dish, he says because he is trying to make him better at his craft, but Aaron knows that’s really just because Robert likes winding him up. For his part, Aaron rather likes watching it, so he never really manages to convince Robert to stop.

Robert takes his first bite and is silent. He looks at Aaron with wide eyes. “This is actually good,” he says. “I mean, very good. What am I supposed to tell him?”

“Exactly that,” Aaron says. Robert gives him a horrified look, and Aaron smirks and shakes his head. “This is exactly what you deserve for picking on him so much.”

At that moment, Marlon storms out of the kitchen as if summoned, an aggrieved look on his face. “Go on, then,” he tells Robert with a flick of his hand, aiming for bored and coming off sulky. “What’s wrong with it this time? Too spicy? Not spicy enough? Too watery, perhaps, or too much rice? Or no, let me guess, too much-“

“It’s fine, alright?” Robert says through gritted teeth, and Marlon stops mid-tirade and gapes at him.

“What?”

“I said it’s fine, what do you want, a medal? Congratulations, you have achieved passable ‘podge.”

Aaron has given up pretending that he’s not wholly delighted by this turn of events; he grins at Marlon and says with no remorse, “Don’t believe him; he thinks it’s good. Very good.” Robert leans over and gives his side a poke, and he can’t help but start laughing. He covers his mouth with the sleeve of his jumper, trying to stifle it, but can only laugh harder at the completely flabbergasted look on Marlon’s face.

A hand sneaks around him and steals a chip. “What’s so funny?” Liv asks, and Aaron turns to look at her, laughter melting into as much of a stern expression as he can muster at the moment.

“Why aren’t you in school?”

“Gabby’s sick; I was keeping her company.”

Aaron shakes his head, exasperated. “You can’t just do that, Liv. We talked about this. School is-“

“School is boring, and useless most of the time.” Liv crosses her arms. “It’s not like I need it; I have thousands since you won’t let me spend it. I don’t need school.”

“That money will go away,” Robert says, pointing his fork at her. “It’s not always going to be there to tap into, you know. Especially if you don’t have a decent job.”

“Which is easier to get if you finish your schooling,” Aaron continues.

“I don’t see why it’s so important. You did alright, didn’t ya?”

“Right. You do not want to be like me. Also, I did finish school, so you’ve no excuse.”

“Thought you said I shouldn’t be like you,” Liv says, smirking, and Robert snorts. Aaron shoots him a dirty look then narrows his eyes at her.

“School, or I’m taking your mobile.”

“What if something happens and I need to call you?”

“They have my number.” Aaron gives her smirk back to her she huffs. “Now get.”

“How about we start tomorrow?”

“How about no?”

“Ugh. You really need to get past this thing you have with school.” She steals another handful of fries and stomps out of the pub, braid swinging.

Robert stands up, forking another bite of hodgepodge into his mouth. Aaron smirks at him. “Shut up. I’ll catch her and drive her to school before heading back to work.” He presses a kiss to Aaron’s temple and then follows Liv out the door.

“Wouldn’t care to finish that hodgepodge, would you?” Marlon asks, preening. “I hear it’s very good.”


	15. Chapter 15

Aaron is late. He knows that he doesn’t have a set time to be at the scrapyard, but he does like to keep to a schedule when he can, and he’s late. He curses to himself and looks through his clothes again, then moves to the hamper and starts pulling stuff out. After a few moments he gives up, shaking his head. “Liv must have taken it.” She does that sometimes; finds one of Aaron’s hoodies or jackets draped somewhere and confiscate it as her own until it needs washing. Then it winds back up with Aaron’s things until the next time. It doesn’t bother him; on the contrary he likes it. He figures he’ll get the hoodie back with the next load of laundry, and until then he has others that he can use.   
  
Liv is eating breakfast when he gets downstairs and sure enough, she’s got on one of his hoodies. It’s not the one he’s missing, though; he gives a mental shrug. So she’s taken a couple of them this time. Not a big deal.   
  
“Shouldn’t you be at the scrapyard?” Liv asks.   
  
Aaron steals a piece of her toast. “Shouldn't _you_ be on your way to school?” he counters. “Lucky for you I _am_ late, so I can give you a ride.”  
  
“Lucky,” Liv echoes dryly, but she stands up and grabs her backpack. “I really did miss the bus.”  
  
“And you decided not to tell anyone out of the goodness of your heart, did you? Nice try.” Aaron holds out his hand. “Give it me.”  
  
Liv heaves a put upon sigh but hands over her mobile. “I still think this is a bad idea,” she says. “Anything could happen.”  
  
“Not if you’re where you’re supposed to be.”  
  
Liv grumbles, but her heart isn’t really in it. Aaron suspects that she doesn’t mind going to school so much right now; Gabby is back as well, having recovered from her illness, and she seems to be determined to show that she can be responsible. Aaron suspects that Liv prefers school with Gabby to ditching without. But a rule is a rule, and he is doing his best to be at least a little better about following through on his threats.

  
He drops Liv off at school, then heads back towards home. He decides that if he’s going to be late, he might as well do the thing properly and stops in at the café for a spot of brekkie before getting stuck in.   
  
The café is fairly crowded and there isn’t much room to sit, but Aaron spies Vic sitting at one of the tables and she waves him over.   
  
“Aaron, sit with us.” She says, and then Aaron notices her companion. Finn looks less than thrilled with the idea of sitting with him, and truth be told Aaron isn’t exactly chuffed at the idea. He and Finn haven’t spoken since that night in Hotton, and for his part Aaron is in no hurry to change that. Finn doesn’t seem to be either, but he doesn’t argue with Vic. Aaron sits a bit reluctantly, but soon enough they are busy catching up and his awkwardness fades.   
  
“-about the sex, you know, for clothes and decorating the nursery and all. Adam wants a boy, obvs, but I was thinking it might be fun not to know. I haven’t told Adam, but he won’t mind, right?” Vic purses her lips. “Yeah, he’s going to have a fit. But he’ll come around to the idea eventually.”   
  
Aaron gives her a smile. “’Course he will,” he agrees.   
  
Vic beams at him. “So, how are things with Robert, then? You two planning on setting a date anytime soon?”   
  
Aaron shifts uncomfortably. Being engaged to Robert still seems weird to him. He’s not in any real rush to lock down a date for a wedding, and he suspects Robert feels much the same. They fight so much he sometimes wonders if it’d be a good idea to take things any farther than they already are. The last thing that he wants is to end up like so many others, married for a brief time and then divorced and hating each other. But he knows that Vic wouldn’t understand – she and Adam are rock solid, have been for years. She has no idea what it’s like to always be on the verge of a barney. And he loves Robert, he does, and he wants to be with him for as long as the two of them can make it, but…he shrugs. “There’s no rush.”  
  
“I don’t get it; what’re you waiting for? You’re moving in together, you’re raising a kid. You’re ready, he’s ready. Why not just do it?”  
  
“Maybe he’s waiting to see if something better comes along,” Finn mutters.  
  
It’s said very quietly. Aaron doesn’t think Vic catches all of it, but he does. “Do you have something you want to say to me, mate?” he asks. “Because if you do, you go on and speak up.”  
  
Finn’s mouth twists and he starts to answer, but then his eyes flick over Aaron’s shoulder and he stops.   
  
“What do you want?” Vic asks, unfriendly, and Aaron turns around to see Chrissie White’s furious face. He leans back a bit in surprise.   
  
“You just couldn’t stay away, could you?” she says, her voice low but venomous. “After everything, you just couldn’t stop yourself.”  
  
“What?”   
  
“You know, I almost believed you when you said that you wanted to help him. But now you’ve gone too far. Seeking him out when he was vulnerable in prison, and now giving him clothing? There’s a word for people like you; people who take advantage of children at weak moments.”  
  
Aaron stares at her. “You’re joking,” he says. “How could you even think something like that? What’s _wrong_ with you?” He’s so furious he’s shaking. His head swims and his breakfast sandwich threatens to come back up on him. He stands, not liking the way that she is looming over him, and she takes a step back in surprise. He realizes his hands are curled into fists and forces himself to relax; he’s not going to help himself if it looks like he’s threatening her.   
  
Vic puts a hand on his arm; she squeezes lightly, reassuringly. “You’ve lost it,” she tells Chrissie. “You need to go.”  
  
“Mum,” Lachlan is suddenly there, Robert of all people standing behind him, tugging at Chrissie’s arm. “Mum, stop. It isn’t like that, I told you.”  
  
Chrissie pulls her arm out of Lachlan’s grip. “I know you don’t think that, sweetheart, but this man is not your friend.” She turns back to Aaron, eyes wide, and he thinks that she’s finally given in and become as crazy as her son. “You will pay for this,” she says. “This time it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, what lies they tell to cover you. No one is going to be able to get you out of this one.”   
  
“Right, that’s enough,” Robert says. “I don’t know what it is you think you’re doing here, but we’ve had enough of it. So take your psycho son and get out of here or I’m going to make you.”  
  
“Defending your man, how sweet,” Chrissie sneers. “But even you might not be able to get past this. Don’t go anywhere, Aaron. You’ll soon have visitors. Come on, Lucky.” She storms out of the café.   
  
Lachlan turns back to look at Aaron. “She’s got the wrong idea,” he says quickly. “I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll-“  
  
“You’ll stay the hell away from me,” Aaron snaps. “What have you done, Lachlan? No, you know what? I don’t care. I told you to leave me alone. Don’t you get it? I don’t want anything to do with you. You make me sick and I just want you out of my life.”  
  
Lachlan stares at him with wide eyes. “I-“  
  
“Did you not hear him?” Robert says. “Leave him alone. And if you come anywhere near my family again it’ll be the last thing you do, understand? Now run along to mummy; she’ll be looking for you.”  
  
Lachlan’s eyes narrow, but he doesn’t say anything. He casts one more glance at Aaron and then he too leaves the café.   
  
Everyone is staring. Aaron can feel their eyes on him. A hand touches his arm lightly and he flinches, then looks up. Bob is peering at him with concern. “You look awful,” he says. “If you want to get out of here, you can take the back way; you won’t run into them.”  
  
Aaron gives him a grateful nod and does so, Robert and Vic following at his heels. Once he gets outside he leans against the wall and tries to calm himself down.   
  
“You want to tell me what that was about?”  
  
Aaron licks his lips, shakes his head. “You heard. She thinks I’ve been – been messing with her son. Been – she thinks I’m like _him_.” He’s practically vibrating, he’s so angry.   
  
“I don’t even get why she’d think that.” Vic shakes her head. “I knew that she was after you, but I never thought she’d take it that far.”  
  
“Well, she’s not going to get away with it,” Robert says. He reaches towards Aaron, but Aaron slides away. He can’t deal with being touched right now. He’s too likely to hit anyone who tries.  
  
“Of course not,” Vic says. “No one’ll believe her. No one who knows ya.”  
  
Aaron laughs harshly. “They might,” he says. “Gordon seemed like a decent bloke, too. If you didn’t know him.” He shakes his head. “I have to go.” He starts to walk away, then stops. “Don’t follow me. I need to be by myself for a bit.”  
  
“That’s the last thing you need.” Robert says. “Let me help.”  
  
“If you come with me now, I’m only gonna take it out on you. Go to work. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”  
  
Aaron strides off without waiting for a reply. He hears Robert start to follow him again and braces himself, but then Vic says something quietly and the footsteps stop. He’s glad. He doesn’t want to take this out on Robert.

He stops into the market for two cases of beer. “Bit early for that, isn’t it?” David asks cheerfully enough, but Aaron glares so hard that the smile falls off of his face and he rings up the purchase without further comment. Aaron thinks about going home, but his mum’ll be there and if she sees what he’s doing she’ll peck his head, so instead he goes to the scrapyard. He isn’t going to be getting much work done today, but it’s somewhere he can be alone, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s kipped there, drunk and miserable.

He knows that drinking isn’t the best way to deal with this, but he hopes it will calm him down enough to maybe be able to think about it without feeling like his head is going to come off. It doesn’t quite work, however. He’s too wound up to take more than a few sips, and his mind refuses to shut off. He can’t think; can hardly breathe around the enormity of what Chrissie has accused him of. His hands won’t stop shaking.

What he really wants is to take his fists to something, to a wall or a bag or a face, but he knows that isn’t an option. Finally he can’t take it anymore; he goes outside and beats the hell out of an old van with a crowbar until his arms ache and his breathing in sharp gasps, the cold air stinging his throat. It almost works. He no longer feels the need to hit something but once the anger is gone it leaves only nausea and anxiety, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that either. He leans against the side of the van, bows his head and closes his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control.

There’s the sound of tyres on gravel, and he knows who it is without having to look. A door slams and the crunch of footsteps coming towards him follow. “Nice work,” Robert says. “Feel better, then?”

Aaron looks at him. “Why are you here, Robert? I told you I wanted to be alone.”

“Yeah, because that always works so well for you. Your hands are bleeding.”

Aaron looks down, and sure enough, he’s managed to cut both of his hands. He shrugs.

“You’re meant to use gloves. But of course you wouldn’t, would you? Not Aaron.”

“So that’s why you came here, is it? To lecture me?”

“I came here to stop you from being an idiot, but I guess I’m too late for that. Shocker.”

Aaron stares at him. “I’m a bit confused here. Why are you mad at me?”

Robert takes a deep breath. “I’m not. You just can’t keep dealing with things this way.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, of course you don’t. You’d rather sit here and brood and hurt yourself. Fine, do what you like. You always do.”

Aaron’s eyebrows go up. “Right. Either tell me what your problem is or go away. I don’t have time for guessing.”

“Had time for Kasim though, eh?” Robert smiles unpleasantly. “Had a nice chat with Finn after you stormed off. Seems you’re having all kinds of fun away from home lately.”

Aaron pinches the bridge of his nose. Finn. He should have guessed. “Do you really want to do this now? With everything else that’s going on?”

“Are you even going to deny it?”

“What’s the point? You’ve made up your mind. Why don’t you go ask Finn about it; I’m sure he’d love to fill you in.”

“Good job that he did, isn’t it, seeing as you didn’t see the need to?”

“Because it was _nothing_. Kasim was pissed out of his mind and he tried to kiss me; I didn’t let him. Did your new mate fill out in on that bit? Or was he too busy being a jealous little knob to mention it?”

“Oh right, and I’m supposed to believe that, am I? If it meant so little why didn’t you say something about it? It’s not like you haven’t had the opportunity.”

“I didn’t say anything because I knew you’d be like this,” Aaron says, gesturing at Robert. “And I didn’t want the hassle.”

Robert shakes his head. “I don’t believe you,” he says. “After the way you came at me about Rebecca, to go and do this…you are such a hypocrite.”

“Me?” And suddenly, Aaron is furious. All the rage that he’d let out on the van is back, and he clenches his hands into fists against it. This is exactly why he wanted Robert to stay away. “That’s rich, isn’t it, coming from you? All you do is lie to everyone, all the time. No one can believe a word that comes out of your mouth. All you care about is yourself, you manipulate everyone around you and then drop ‘em when they become inconvenient. You expect forgiveness for all the awful things you do and then expect perfection of everyone else. You-“

“Oh yes, let’s list Robert’s faults, shall we?” Robert sneers. “Because poor, pitiful Aaron couldn’t possibly be in the wrong here, oh no. It has to be all evil, manipulative Robert’s fault.”

“I didn’t say –“

“No, Aaron, don’t stop there. You were doing so well, after all. How is this down to me, then? Was I not giving you enough attention? Not hanging on your every word? I’m sure _Kasim_ slotted right in, didn’t he? Bet he thought you were just _amazing_. Was that it? He make you feel like a big man? Are you really so pathetic that you would lead some lad on to feel good about yourself?”

“Is that what you think I did?”

“Isn’t it?”

Aaron grits his teeth. “No, Robert,” he says, “I did not lead Kasim on to feel better about myself. This might surprise you, but it’s not something _I_ need to do.”

Robert scoffs. “No, of course you don’t. Your entire existence is a cry for attention, isn’t it? You just can’t help yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Robert’s eyes light up with a kind of awful glee. “It means that you’re a walking, talking disaster, mate. You walk around with all your problems in the open for everyone to gawk at, so they can’t do anything but feel sorry for you. Poor pathetic little Aaron who’s just been through so much, mustn’t make him angry, mustn’t make him cry. Kind of hard not to when every little thing sets you off, though. You know, what gets me the most about this whole thing with Lachlan is that anyone could believe that _you_ of all people could do anything to help him. What advice can you give to anyone when your own life is such a wreck? And you like it that way, don’t you? Can’t let anything go, not you. Can’t step back and let yourself enjoy anything that happens to you because the world might just end if you stopped being bloody miserable for one second.”

“If I’m so awful, why are you marrying me?”

“Honestly, I’ve got no idea.”

And there it is. Aaron stomach twists; he feels gut punched, which in a way he has been. They stare at each other a moment, and then Robert’s face changes. The manic glee disappears, replaced by regret, and he reaches out a hand. “I didn’t m-“

“Sure ya did,” Aaron says, backing away. He gropes in the pocket of his hoodie and breathes a sigh of relief when he locates his keys. “Don’t back out now Robert, you’re doing so well.” Robert blurs then trebles as Aaron’s eyes fill with tears. He gets in his car and turns it on, scrubbing his eyes clean with the sleeves of his hoodie before getting the hell out of there. He doesn’t know where he’s going; anyplace in the village is surely out, and he can’t drive into town feeling the way he does. In the mirror, Robert kicks the van once, twice, then reaches into his pocket as Aaron makes the turn away from the yard and out of sight. Sure enough his mobile starts ringing. Aaron grabs it and denies the call, then goes to turn it off. His eyes snag on a missed text and he knows where he’s going to go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this is where the "Graphic Depictions of Violence" warning starts earning its name. Please also note the new tags.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting and kudosing; you guys are the absolute best.

Adam is already waiting for him when he turns into the Barton farm, sitting on the tailgate of their truck with two cans of beer resting beside him. When Aaron gets out of the car he doesn’t hesitate to hop off and walk straight over, pulling him into a hard hug. “I’m sorry, mate,” he says, and Aaron buries his head in his shoulder for a minute and just breathes.  
  
Once Aaron has calmed down, they sit on the tailgate, each nursing a can of beer. “Vic rang,” Adam says. “You know he didn’t mean it, right? He’s gutted, mate. Thinks he’s ruined everything.”  
  
“Yeah well maybe he has,” Aaron says, then bites his lip. “He wasn’t wrong, not about any of it.”  
  
“Oi, come off it. You know what you're like. You go off on one and say things ya don't mean, and then make it up. And you sitting here letting it eat you up instead of trying to work things out isn’t helping.” Adam nudges Aaron’s shoulder with his. “He’s just worried about ya, and then Finn wound him up about Kasim and all. You know what the two of you are like; can’t go a day without rowing, can ya?”  
  
“Yeah, but that’s just it, Adam. How can we be together, be married if we can’t be in the same room for five minutes without having a go?” He twists his ring. “I don’t know if I can do this with him forever. You and Vic don’t row like this.”  
  
Adam laughs. “Says you. We had a massive bust up just last week. I slept on me own couch for three days. It happens. More often with you and Rob, sure, but that’s just you two, isn’t it?”  
  
“I don’t know. All this mess with Lachlan, with Chrissie…Liv’s mess with Rebecca…and before that it was Gordon, wasn’t it? I keep dragging him into my messes. Eventually he’s gonna get sick of dealing with them and start looking somewhere else.”  
  
Adam gives him a searching look. “Is that what the problem is? Because he drags you into his messes, too, and you go, don’t you, because you want to help him. To be there for him if he needs ya. And he wants to do the same for you. Now be honest with me. Do you really want to call things off?”  
  
Aaron wants to think about it, he does, but he’s already shaking his head.  
  
“Do you want to marry him?”  
  
“Yes, but-“  
  
“No buts. If you want him then work it out. He wants to; I know for a fact that he’s sitting in the pub crying into his pint like a pathetic git because he thinks that it’s over. If you don’t want it to be over then fight for it.”  
  
Aaron smiles slightly. “That easy, is it?”  
  
“’Course it isn’t, but if it’s worth it that doesn’t matter. Is it worth it?”  
  
This time Aaron does think. He thinks about the rows, about Robert’s tendency to fixate on a goal and forget everyone else in pursuit of it. He thinks about his own tendency for always assuming the worst, for always thinking that everything good comes with a price. He thinks about meals and trips to Mill Cottage and sitting shoulder to shoulder in the pub. He thinks about his mum and Liv and the way that they both love Robert now, even though they’ll never admit it; of the way that Robert factors both of them into his plans now, no question. He thinks about Robert’s hands and his mouth and about the smile he’d worn when Aaron had put a ring on his finger.  
  
“Yeah,” he says, voice hoarse. “Yeah, it’s worth it.”  
  
Adam nods like he’d been expecting that answer all along. “So what are you going to do about it?”  
  
Aaron shakes his head. “So weird, you sticking up for Robert. When did this happen?”  
  
“Aw, he’s not that bad. Well, no, he’s a right prat, but both you and Vic like him well enough so he’s gotta have his good points.” Adam claps him on the back and then jumps down from the tailgate. “Now go on, stop distracting me from my work. Go get your love life sorted so that you can focus on not going to prison this year, maybe.”  
  
“Hilarious.” Aaron fidgets. “What she’s accusing me of, it’s…” he trails off, shrugging helplessly. “It’s driving me mental, mate.” It’s no less than the truth. He’d have been able to handle Robert if not for this, or at least would have walked away instead of letting things go as far as they had.   
  
“I know. But it’s not gonna stick. No way. She has to know that, but if she tries anything we’re all here for you. We’re not gonna let her win, I swear.” Adam reaches up, cups the back of Aaron’s neck and draws their foreheads together. “We’re gonna think of a way to make her back off, alright? Don’t start thinking you’re doing this on your own.”  
  
Aaron lets out a soft laugh. “I won’t.”  
  
Adam squeezes his neck briefly before he pulls away. “Muppet,” he says fondly, and Aaron makes a face at him but doesn’t disagree.

*

Aaron turns his mobile back on before he leaves the farm, and it goes crazy immediately, beeping with several new voicemails and texts. He doesn’t bother with reading or listening, just scrolls through to verify that most of them are from Robert before he’s heading back towards the village, trying to prepare himself for the discussion to come, wondering if he even can. Things had been said on both sides, true things, and there’s a pessimistic part of him that wonders if maybe it wouldn’t be best to just call the whole thing off and walk away now, while they both still can. The rest of him just wants Robert. The conversation that they need to have isn’t going to be easy, and he’d love nothing more than to be able to not have it, but it’s too late for that.  
  
When he parks his car round back of the pub, he has no more clue what he wants to say than he did when he left Adam. For a moment he just sits in the car, engine off, and then he realizes that his head is blank and all he’s doing is stalling and forces himself to get out.  
  
It’s still and quiet outside, the wind for once not acting up, and he’s so on edge that all sounds seem amplified. The slam of the car door, the muted scraping of his trainers on the ground, the soft click that his keys make against his mobile when he puts them in his pocket. He hears sirens off in the distance and he tenses, cocking his head and listening, relieved when they fade off instead of drawing closer, then shakes his head at himself with a light laugh that doesn’t hold much amusement. He needs to calm down; even if Chrissie has made her report they aren’t going to immediately arrest him. If he can’t relax he and Robert are only going to row again. He can’t help it, though; he’s jittery, nervous, even more on edge than he had been this morning. He takes a breath, shakes his hands out at his sides, and enters the pub.  
  
He expects Robert to be waiting for him at the table or on the sofa, but he isn’t. No one is in the back at all, which isn’t exactly unusual for midday. Slightly more unusual is the lack of sound from the pub, but Robert must have closed the outer door so that they could have a semblance of privacy. Not that it would stop anyone who felt like it from walking back here, top of the list being his mum or Charity, both of them too nosy for their own good. Aaron thinks that after the fifth time one of them came back here with some ridiculous chore but obviously just trying to find out what was going on, Robert retreated to the bedroom and relative safety.  
  
But Robert isn’t there either. Aaron heads back down the stairs quickly. There’s only two places left to look: the kitchen and the pub proper. Aaron hopes he’s not in the pub, but now he recalls Adam talking about Robert crying into his pint. He’d thought that Adam was joking, but apparently not. Aaron feels irritation prickle along his spine. If Robert has been sat at the bar drinking this entire time then there’s no way that they’re going to be able to talk this out, and Aaron isn’t sure that he’ll be able to make himself do this later. He lets out an annoyed huff. Trust Robert to do something like this. He’s sure he looked dramatic at the bar, sullenly drinking his pint and moaning to Vic about how Aaron had betrayed him, how he was the most unreasonable –  
  
He hears raised voices as he opens the door to enter the pub. Raised voices and – the sound of someone sobbing? Great, another bust up. He’s really not in the mood for this right now, wishes that Robert could have just waited for him in the back. He could have taken his pint with him, after all. Chas wouldn’t have minded. Aaron frowns and pushes the door open all the way. The noise and motion distracts Lachlan and he jerks. The sound of the gun going off is very loud. The man standing in front of Lachlan had turned to look, too, and the bullet catches him mid turn. It’s Robert. He’d been the one yelling, Aaron realizes, yelling at Lachlan – the force of the bullet sends him slamming into the bar. His eyes meet Aaron’s briefly before he drops down, out of sight. Aaron hears him hit the ground and then nothing. He doesn’t get back up.

The next few moments both move too fast and seem to stretch into hours. A pained noise escapes Aaron and he steps forward, unthinking, eyes focused on where Robert has dropped out of sight. His feet slip and he nearly goes down. He has to grab the bar to steady himself. His eyes automatically follow his hand, and that’s when he sees her. His mum is lying on the floor behind the bar in a pool of her own blood, twitching slightly. Kneeling next to her is Vic, crying and trying to hold a rapidly soaking compress to Chas’ head despite her own bleeding shoulder. The mingled scent of alcohol and blood is nearly overwhelming; Aaron gags.  
  
“Mum?” he says, and his voice comes out a croak. Vic looks up at him and her eyes go wide. Her mouth opens.  
  
“Aaron?” Reluctantly, Aaron turns towards the voice. Lachlan’s eyes are wide and fixed on him. As Aaron watches, his lips twitch upwards into a smile. “I knew you’d come.”  
  
“Lachlan. Lachlan, what have you done?” Aaron doesn’t really need an answer; he can see the evidence for himself. But he can’t think. He can’t process what he’s seeing. It doesn’t seem real. There’s an oddly childish voice in the back of his head insisting that this can’t be real, it can’t, this sort of stuff doesn’t just happen, Lachlan is crazy but he’s not that crazy, just close your eyes and when you open them again it’ll all be fine. He can’t listen to that voice. He’s heard it before, and he knows that it lies.  
  
“Aaron?” That’s Robert’s voice from the floor in front of the bar, weak and full of pain but also _alive_. Aaron breathes a sigh of relief and stumbles forward, feeling as though he has twigs supporting him instead of legs; weak and trembling. “Aaron, get out of here now.”  
  
“You shut up,” Lachlan says, furious, and points the gun in the direction the voice had come from. His finger wraps around the trigger.  
  
“Lachlan, no, no. Don’t,” Aaron says, and steps forward again. He lets go of the bar and for a wonder his legs hold him up. An odd sort of numbness is taking him over, and he feels more calm and collected than he knows he ought. He reckons it must be shock, but if it is, he thinks he might be able to use it. He takes another step.  
  
Lachlan glances at him, mouth tight. “I should,” he says. “Should put him out of everyone’s misery. Who would miss you?” he asks, turning back to Robert. “No one. Everyone would be better if you were dead. You should have done us all a favor and died the last time someone shot you. Why didn’t you just _die_?”  
  
“Lachlan,” Aaron says, trying to pull his attention away from Robert and back onto himself. “Is that my hoodie?”  
  
It works. Lachlan’s eyes shift back over to Aaron. The hand not holding the gun goes to the hem of the hoodie he’s wearing and he smiles a bit sheepishly. “I know I didn’t ask, but I hoped you wouldn’t mind. You don’t, do you?” He looks at Aaron hopefully.  
  
Aaron swallows hard. He thinks of Lachlan upstairs, going through his things and his stomach rolls, but he forces himself to shake his head. “’Course not,” he says. “I-it’s fine.” Lachlan beams at him, and he takes another step forward. He can now see Robert on the floor in front of the bar. Aaron gets as much of a look as he can out of the corner of his eye. Robert’s lying half propped up against the bar, breathing fast and shallow – even with his limited sight line Aaron can see that. He can also see him pressing hard against a point high on his side, blood slowly seeping through his fingers and darkening the light blue shirt into purple. Aaron wants to turn his head and get a better look, wants to fall to his knees beside Robert and try to stanch the flow of blood with his own hands, but he knows that doing either of those things will drag Lachlan’s focus away from him and back to Robert, and he doesn’t want that. The gun is still trained on him as it is, and Aaron doesn’t need to check to know that it’s pointing at his head.  
  
So instead he steps forward again, and asks, “Are you hurt?” Another step. “You’re bleeding.”  
  
Lachlan’s face twists with confusion, and then he grimaces, looking down at the hoodie, which is spattered with blood. His face is too. Aaron doubts that Lachlan has a scratch on him, and he hates him, hates him suddenly and brightly and with such fervor that he knows if he can get that gun out of Lachlan’s hands he won’t hesitate to kill him. _You shot my mum,_ he thinks furiously. _You shot my mum and Vic and Robert but that’s not all you’ve done today, is it Lachlan? Come on, tell me what you’ve done you little bastard. Tell me_.  
  
Lachlan rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, his eyes wide and utterly insane. The gun lists away from Robert as he looks away from Aaron, focusing on something only he can see. “She went too far,” he says in a soft, almost dreamy voice. “She was going to get them to take you away, she was going to, to say that you’d been _touching_ me. I had to do it,” and now he sounds almost panicked, desperate. “I had to. She wasn’t going to stop, it didn’t matter to her when I said that you’d never given me anything, you’d never done _anything_. She just wanted you gone. Out of our lives. She wanted to send you to that place.” Lachlan shakes he head. “I couldn’t let her do that. So I stopped her. And then when Granddad got in the way, I stopped him, too.” He smiles. “I had to, to protect you.” The smile fades and he brings the gun back up to point at Robert. “I’ll protect you from him, too.”  
  
Aaron steps neatly to the side, in front of Lachlan. Puts himself between Robert and the gun. “You don’t need to do that.”  
  
From behind him, he hears the rustling of clothing and then a pained wheeze from Robert. Aaron doesn’t turn around to look. “Robert, stop it,” he snaps. “Don’t be an idiot.”  
  
“Bit rich, coming from the king of ‘em,” Robert bites back, but there’s no venom in his voice. There’s only fear. “Whatever you think you’re doing, stop it right now, Aaron.”  
  
But Aaron can’t stop. Robert’s words are little more than breaths, he’s bleeding out right behind him, his mum is doing the same behind the bar, and he has to get Lachlan away from them. He knows the police are more than likely on their way – someone is bound to have heard the shots and called them – but he’s terrified that they’ll only set Lachlan off, and someone he loves will pay the price. He’s so sick of other people getting hurt because of him. “Look,” he says, “you don’t need to-to hurt anyone else to protect me, Lachlan. Robert’s down, he’s not going anywhere, okay? How about…how about you and me go somewhere? Somewhere else?”  
  
“No,” Robert says, and there’s a scraping noise and a harsh squeal before one of the barstools goes toppling over. Lachlan flinches, and his hand jerks. The gun goes off, and a line of fire licks along Aaron’s arm as the bullet grazes him on its way to the wall. Bottles burst and Aaron gives a shout of pain. Vic screams.  
  
“We’re fine!’ Aaron calls, willing her not to move. He clutches at his arm. “It didn’t get any of us, we’re fine.” He looks back at Lachlan, who is pointing the gun at his head, now.  
  
“If he does that again, I’ll shoot you,” he says. “I don’t want to, but I will.”  
  
“You little shit,” Robert says, voice cold and hard. “You hurt him and it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do; I’ll find you and I’ll kill you. Do you get me? I will _kill_ you.”  
  
Lachlan laughs. “Not if I kill you first,” he says, and tries to move around Aaron.  
  
Aaron gets in his way. “Stop it, both of you,” he says, and is relieved when his voice comes out firm and slightly exasperated, as though he’s scolding naughty schoolchildren rather than trying to stop the local psychopath from shooting his fiancé. Again. “Robert, for once just do us a favor and _shut up_.” He pretends that there isn’t a gun pointing at his head and looks straight into Lachlan’s mad eyes. “I’ll go with you,” he tells him. “We’ll go wherever you like, but you have to leave them be.”  
  
Lachlan narrows his eyes. “You won’t try to get away?” he asks, apparently done with pretending this is any kind of rescue. Aaron shakes his head. “Okay. You drive. Give me your mobile.”  
  
Aaron grimaces slightly but reaches into his pocket and fishes it out. He hands it to Lachlan, who drops it on the floor and brings his foot down on it once, twice. Glass splinters; Aaron hears the plastic cracking. “Go on, then,” he says, motioning towards the back. “But if anyone tries anything, I’ll shoot you.” He raises his voice. “Do you hear me? Anyone tries anything and I shoot Aaron.”  
  
“Don’t,” Robert says, voice thin and far too high. Aaron turns to look at him. The brief moment of adrenaline has passed and now he looks exhausted, not so much putting pressure on his wound anymore as resting his hand against it, as though the effort it takes to press down is too much work. His face is pale. His eyes are half-mast with dark smudges underneath, like bruises. He looks like he’s on the verge of passing out, and the little expression there is in his face shows nothing but bone deep terror. “Please. Don’t.” His voice cracks.  
  
Aaron hates putting him through this again. He wants to say something to reassure him, wants to tell him that he loves him at the very least, but he can’t. So instead he turns away and walks out of the pub, acutely aware of the gun pointing at the back of his head.


	17. Chapter 17

“Where we off to, then?” Aaron asks in a mild voice as he makes the turn out of the village, towards Hotton. Lachlan still has the gun pointing at his head, but he almost doesn’t care. The rest of them are safe, and that’s what matters. His arm aches; it’s still bleeding.   
  
“Just keep going,” Lachlan says. “I want to get as far away from that place as we can.”  
  
“And then what? What’s the big plan? You do have a plan, yeah?” He knows that goading Lachlan isn’t really the best option, but he can’t help himself. “Go on, fill us in. You planning on us running forever? Or maybe I’m not coming along. Is that it? Gonna shoot me and leave m’body out in the middle of nowhere?”  
  
“No,” Lachlan says immediately, sounding horrified. “I’m not going to shoot you.”  
  
“Might have to, though,” Aaron says. “Eventually. I’m not going to make this easy for you.” They’re heading uphill now, open country on one side of them and a wall of rock on the other. Aaron presses the gas pedal down, almost unaware of it. There’s a plan forming in his head; it isn’t a good one, but it’s all he has, and a part of him is almost eager to carry it out. Anger is slowly rising in him, overwhelming anger, so large and awful that it almost scares him. He can’t remember ever being so angry; he looks at his hands resting on the wheel, thinking that they must be shaking with it. They aren’t; his hands are resting easily on the wheel, and the face he sees in the rearview mirror when he checks is calm and almost peaceful…if you don’t pay attention to the eyes, that is.  
  
Lachlan shakes his head. “It’s not going to be like that,” he says. He speaks rapidly, the words practically tripping over themselves in his rush to get them out. “Mum and Granddad, they were acting like I was – they didn’t - you won’t – it, it’s Robert, isn’t it? Robert turned you against me, but he’s the one, the one who...he lies. You don’t understand what he’s like, is all. But you will do. I know you will.”  
  
“You don’t have to tell me what Robert’s like, mate,” Aaron says. His voice is still mild. In fact, it’s almost amicable, as though the two of them really are out for a leisurely drive. “I live with him, remember? I know how he is. I know what he’s done. But here’s what I _don’t_ get,” he presses his foot down, speeding up, and now his voice changes, hardens, as he allows the fury he feels to consume him. “What did _Vic_ ever do to you, Lachlan? What did my _mum_?”  
  
Lachlan’s beginning to look nervous. “Slow down,” he says. Aaron lets out a harsh bark of laughter and presses the pedal down even harder, so it’s touching the floor. He takes a curve at speed and the car skids, tires squealing; Lachlan cries out and gropes at the dashboard. “Slow down!” he yells. He points the gun at Aaron’s head. “Slow down or I’ll shoot you, I will.”  
  
Aaron laughs again. It's not entirely without amusement and perhaps that is the worst part. “Do you think I give a toss?” he asks. “You shot up everyone I love, maybe you killed them. I have no way of knowing, do I, here with you? And what have I got to live for if they are? You?” He makes another hard turn, still laughing. “You’re nothing. You’re a pathetic waste of space that I felt sorry for. Don’t you get it? You killed the only two people in the world who cared about you at all.”  
  
“Shut up,” Lachlan says, voice low. He’s is pale and the gun pointing at Aaron’s face keeps juddering because the hand that’s holding it is shaking too badly to keep it steady. His eyes are welling with tears, and Aaron is viciously happy when they start to fall. “I’m warning you.”  
  
Aaron shakes his head. They take another tight turn and the passenger side of his car scrapes up against the wall-like outcropping of rock on that side. Lachlan gives a sharp, startled yell and goes for his seatbelt, but Aaron leans over and grabs his wrist before he can. “I won’t. I won't stop. I’m not afraid of you, and I’m not afraid of that gun in your hand. So you shoot me, so what? I die and you’re still you, the same psychotic little creep who abused Alicia, who stalked Belle, who shot his granddad and let someone else take the blame. I’d rather be dead than have anything to do with you. So go on, do it. Shoot me. Do it!” he screams, and Lachlan jerks. His finger tightens on the trigger, and for one moment Aaron thinks that’s it, he’s pushed Lachlan too far and now he’s going to pay the price, but then it loosens again. He wishes that he were more relieved, but instead he only feels a strange disappointment. It would make things so much easier, after all.  
  
They take another turn and Lachlan flinches; he twists his arm and pulls, trying to free his wrist from Aaron's grasp, but Aaron is holding him too tightly. He fights against Lachlan for a few seconds, and then releases just as Lachlan heaves himself backwards. The back of his head cracks against the passenger window and he flails, causing the barrel of the gun to tilt up and back, completely away from Aaron's face. It’s the best chance Aaron is going to get, and he takes it.  
  
He snarls wordlessly and twists the wheel hard in the opposite direction, slamming the brake at the same time. The car skids and then rolls, continues rolling off of the road and down into the woods below.  
  
Everything happens at once. They both scream; the gun goes off. Aaron hears the bullet land but he doesn’t know where. The roof of the car is pressing down on them. Glass is flying everywhere; Aaron hears his horn start to blare and then something large and white eats up the space in front of his face, filling his vision. He'll never know if he manages to close his eyes before the white overtakes him or not. He doesn't even feel the impact.

*

His alarm is blaring. It’s annoying, much more annoying than his old one. He can’t sleep around it and he’d really like to. His head is pounding and he feels like he’s been run over by a truck. Robert must have chucked all of the blankets on him when he got up; he has that habit even though Aaron gives off heat like a furnace and never needs the extra cover. They are heavy and uncomfortable, and something, the sheets perhaps, is tangled so tightly around his legs that they feel as though they’re actually being pinned in place. So not only did he drink too much, he also slept badly. His eyes feel heavy and swollen, too. He doesn’t know what he and Adam got up to last night but whatever it is he never wants to do it again. He tries to make a mental note but the thought slides away before he can really get a good grip on it, pushed out by that bloody alarm.  
  
“Robert,” he says, “turn that damn thing off.” Tries to say, anyway; he’s not even sure his mouth opens. What did he _do_ to himself? Since his mouth seems stuffed full of cotton for the moment, Aaron flails an arm out to shut the alarm _off_ , stop that stupid blaring, but when he moves agony flares through his body and he gasps, eyes flying open as it all comes rushing back.   
  
He’s not at home in bed, annoyed with Robert for getting a new alarm because the old one is too quiet and Robert needs more to wake him in the morning. He’d rolled his car; it had gone off the road and down the hill. He looks around him with eyes nearly swollen shut, trying to assess the situation.   
  
The car has landed with the driver’s side facing the ground. One of Aaron’s arms is resting on the broken window; it’s cut in several different places and the wrist is twisted at an odd angle. His other arm seems okay, but when he moves it pain lances through his chest, which feels tight and uncomfortable. His legs are pinned under the wheel carriage, what fun, so he has no clue what state they are in, but he’s felt pain like this before and is pretty positive that at least one of them is broken. Judging from his swollen eyes and the blood splattered on the now deflated airbag, he’s pretty sure his nose is broken as well. He turns his head, carefully, and other than the renewed throbbing in his temples there is no pain. He breathes a sigh of relief. Then he sees Lachlan, and the relief turns to a mix of horror and revulsion.   
  
Lachlan is draped over the center console like a rag doll, nearly in Aaron’s lap. His head is tipped back towards Aaron, as if he’s sharing a good joke, but no jokes will come out of Lachlan’s mouth ever again, if they ever did. Aaron thinks he knows where that last shot had gone. Pretty much the only thing left in the mess of red that used to be Lachlan’s face are his eyes, wide open and staring, seemingly right at Aaron. Aaron shudders, and feels his gorge rise. There is no struggling against it; he barely has time to turn his head before he’s throwing up, closing his eyes, pain wracking him with every heave of his body. His vision grays out for a moment in a combination of horror and agony; when he comes back to himself he hears someone muttering “Oh God oh God oh God” in a high, almost childlike voice and it takes him a moment to realize that it’s him. When he does he clamps his mouth shut, biting down savagely on his lower lip to keep the words in. He can’t afford this now. He can’t lose himself to panic, because if he does he might never get out of here, might die in this car with Lachlan. That thought sends a fresh wave of terror through him and he rides it out as best he can, trying to think around the pain and panic and sound.  
  
He tries to get his legs out from under the wheel; cries out against the pain in his body but still shoves at the wheel while trying to drag his legs from under, but they don’t even budge. He has no clue how Robert managed it the first time. He doesn’t remember anything about being stuck like this then but Adam had told him that Robert was already on his way up with him when he’d gone under the water the second time. It must have been pure adrenaline that had given Robert the strength. Aaron doesn’t have that; the harder he tries the weaker he feels. Worse, he’s starting to get lethargic. He’s thinking more slowly, wanting nothing more than to close his eyes and let himself drift off. The attempts to get out from under the wheel carriage become halfhearted then stop altogether. Blinking begins to take longer. Aaron grits his teeth and lifts his arm; lets it drop back to the ground without trying to brace himself or resist gravity. Pain flares through his broken wrist, waking him up a bit, but he knows it won’t last long. He pulls at the steering wheel again, helplessly, but nothing happens. The horn is still blaring and he’s hoping that will attract some attention; surely someone has to pass by on the road above, and they’ll hear it.   
  
He keeps thinking about his mum and the way that she’d been twitching under Vic’s hands, the way her head had been bleeding. He knows that thinking about it is only making things worse; that he can’t know what’s actually happening unless he’s there. Still, doesn’t stop his mind from conjuring worst case scenario after worst case scenario. His mum dying in the pub, surrounded by her own blood and spilled alcohol. Robert bleeding out on the way to the hospital. Vic losing the baby. The thoughts are enough to get him to try yet again to get himself out of the car, but he’s still as firmly stuck as he was when he woke up. If his legs have shifted at all it’s been so minutely that they may as well not have. In a sudden fit of rage he smashes his good hand into the steering wheel, hard, and the blaring of the horn abruptly stops.   
  
The sudden silence is blissful; Aaron can’t help but close his eyes and savor it. He feels himself starting to fall asleep, and thinks that in a minute he’ll wake himself up, smash his hand on the ground again, do something...his mind drifts, on the cusp of sleep. Oddly enough, he starts to think about food, about the sandwich he’d had that morning with Vic and Finn. It had been okay. What he’d really wanted was a bacon sandwich but he’d been afraid to tempt fate. That seems amusing now, and his mouth quirks up a bit at the thought. What he should have done is made himself one before leaving the pub that morning. He probably would have if Liv hadn’t missed her bus.   
  
_Wait. Wait._ Aaron’s eyes pop open as a sudden thought occurs to him, jarring him out of his half-drowse. Liv had missed the bus this morning, and he’d taken her mobile from her for the day. More importantly, when he’d taken her mobile he’d put it in the pocket of his jacket so she wouldn’t be able to swipe it back. He’d forgotten all about it. Once again ignoring the pain, he gropes in his jacket pocket, nearly crying with relief when his hand hits the hard plastic of the phone’s case. He pulls it out of his pocket and thumbs it on, relieved when he sees that although the battery is low, the mobile itself is fine.   
  
“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.” He taps the icon for Emergency Services, then sets the mobile down very carefully next to his wrecked arm and presses the speaker button.   
  
“Emergency Services,” a brisk female voice says.  
  
“I,” Aaron starts, then coughs. It hurts deep in his chest, but he can’t stop. He closes his eyes and rides it out as best he can. Finally the coughing tapers off, and he breathes harshly through is mouth. He tastes copper in the back of his throat; it reminds him of being about ten years old, sick with bronchitis, his throat feeling raw and sore from coughing. That bloody taste had been present then, too. Warmth trickles from the corner of his mouth; he wipes at it without opening his eyes.   
  
“M’sorry,” he says, the words slurring slightly. His voice is hoarse and barely audible. It hurts to talk, but he keeps on, forcing the words through a throat full of razorblades. “There was...accident. I can’t-“ and then he’s coughing again.   
  
This fit doesn’t last as long as the last one, but when it’s over the dull throb in his chest has become a sharp ache. _Don’t think about it,_ he tells himself. _It’s almost finished._ He can feel the panic hovering at the back of his mind, just waiting to take over, but for right now his control is holding.   
  
“It’s okay, sir, try not to talk. We’re triangulating your position now. Hang in there, help is on the way.” The voice is less brisk than before, but it’s still calm. Aaron finds it soothing. “I am assuming this was a car accident. Is that correct? Tap your mobile’s speaker once for yes, twice for no.”  
  
Aaron opens his eyes. He reaches out and taps the mobile’s speaker once with a finger streaked with blood.   
  
“Okay. Were there any other vehicles involved?”  
  
Twice.  
  
“That’s good, sir. You’re doing great. Are you near the vehicle now?”  
  
Aaron taps once.  
  
“Inside?”  
  
Once.   
  
"Can you get out of the vehicle?"  
  
Twice.  
  
“That's fine. Don't try to remove yourself if you can't; emergency services will be there soon. Was there anyone in the vehicle with you when you had your accident?”  
  
Aaron swallows hard, then taps the speaker once.  
  
“Are they with you now?”  
  
Once, but that isn’t enough. “Dead,” he says, biting hard at his lip. “He was – he –“  
  
“I understand. Please, sir, try to keep calm. They’re almost to you. Just hold on a little longer, can you do that?”  
  
Aaron taps once.  
  
“Good. Very good.” She says something else, but Aaron is no longer listening. He can hear sirens, still distant, but growing closer. He closes his eyes, and doesn’t even try to fight the exhaustion he feels. He just lets himself go, body sagging sideways as he sinks gratefully down, into black.

When he wakes, he’s still in the car. He can hear the sounds of sirens and a couple of raised voices, so he knows that help is here. He must not have passed out for very long, then. He tries to see where his rescue is, but can really only see out of the demolished windshield and into the woods. He can see more if he turns his head towards the passenger window, but only sky and Lachlan’s mangled body, and he has no desire to look at either. He has no clue how long it is going to take for them to get him out of here, but just knowing that they are has him relaxing. He closes his eyes and listens for footsteps.

He must doze off a bit, because the next thing he hears is someone moving next to him, around the passenger side of the car. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he says, forcing down the cough that wants to follow. He feels like he can’t catch his breath. The words cost him, but he has to say them. He has to say them and hear the response, otherwise he won’t be able to believe that it’s real.

Only he doesn’t get a reply. He frowns. “Alright?” Still nothing. Aaron turns to look, and his body instinctively tries to jerk backwards. Pain rips through him but he hardly notices it, too busy staring in horror at Lachlan’s mutilated face. The eyes are lit up with a mad sort of glee and he lifts his arm, pointing the gun at Aaron’s head.

He doesn’t have a mouth to smile anymore, but Aaron senses that is exactly what he’s doing. “One bullet left,” he says, and fires, the sound of the gun very loud in the confines of the car.

Aaron jerks awake, scream lodged in his throat. He thrashes, and hears a shrill cry followed by footsteps, and then there are hands on him, trying to settle him back on the bed. But Aaron can’t settle. He’s terrified, jerking against the hands trying to hold him down, mindless of the way that every move he makes hurts. His eyes are open but seeing nothing, and later he will have series of frenzied images in his head: the nurses’ wide eyes as they try to calm him down, hands reaching out to press against his shoulders, his legs. Liv’s terrified face as she’s ushered out of the room, tears still shining on her cheeks. Then one of the nurses gives him a sedative and his struggles lessen and eventually stop. If he dreams this time, he doesn’t remember.


	18. Chapter 18

The next time he wakes there is no thrashing panic. He knows where he is and what has landed him here. Lachlan White is dead, and can do him no more harm. That only leaves the question of just how bad the damage he’d managed to cause actually is.

He opens his eyes.

The lights in his room are dim. The door is shut but the blinds are open, he figures so that passing nurses can look in on him as needed. His body hurts, but the pain seems far away, blunted by medication. His limbs feel heavy and his chest is tight.

His door opens, and blond nurse walks in. She smiles at him. “Hello, Aaron. Do you know where you are?”

Aaron nods, then reaches up with a hand filled with lead to tug the oxygen mask off of his face. “My mum…Robert,” he says, voice hoarse.

The nurse’s smile fades. “They aren’t -” she starts, but Aaron doesn’t hear anything more. He doesn’t need to; he thinks, looking at her somber face. He’s sure suddenly that either his mum or Robert did not make it out of this alive. An ache starts inside of his chest, one that drugs won’t touch, and tears fill his eyes. His breathing speeds up; he can’t get enough air. The monitor next to him starts beeping wildly as his heartbeat accelerates.

His nurse’s eyes widen and she rushes over to him, pulling the oxygen mask back up over his face. “Keep this on,” she says, “your lungs need the help right now. That’s it, breathe, Aaron. You’re alright.” Once Aaron’s breath has evened out, she gives him another smile. “They aren’t on my rotation, is what I was going to say. But they’re both alive and stable. I’m sure that someone will be by with more information soon.” She gives him a once over. “How is the pain?” Aaron starts to take the mask off again, but she shakes her head. “Scale of one to five?” He thinks, then holds up three fingers, shrugs, raises a fourth. She nods. “If it gets worse, ring for a nurse and we’ll bring you something.”

Aaron nods. She studies him a moment, then sighs and leaves without another word, the door closing behind her with a soft click. Aaron watches her go without really seeing her, his mind working. Stable. Stable is better than dead, but still isn’t enough. He needs to know how bad they both are – he doesn’t care much about his own injuries. He’s obviously going to be fine. But he can’t be sure that his mum and Robert are.

The door opens again, and the same blond nurse walks through. She’s grinning as she shuts the door.

“Your mum is going to be just fine,” she says. “The bullet didn’t enter her brain; she was very lucky. She’s been safely through surgery and has woken up; her motor function seems good and she has spoken a few words.” Her grin softens into a smile. “First thing she asked about was you.”

Relief fills Aaron so abruptly that he feels lightheaded. He closes his eyes and breathes out a shaky sigh. Then he opens them and looks at the nurse, waiting.

She shakes her head, smile gone. “Your husband is a bit worse off I’m afraid,” she says, regret lacing her voice. “He was brought in same time as your mum in critical condition. The bullet nicked an artery. He lost a lot of blood and was given a transfusion. He hasn’t woken up yet but they’re going to try and bring him out of it in a day or so, if he doesn’t wake on his own and save them the trouble.” She gives him a reassuring smile that Aaron can’t return. Instead he closes his eyes again, fighting back tears. He’d thought that if his mum was going to be fine than Robert would be too; he’d assumed that a gunshot wound to the head would be much worse than one to the body. He’s still not quite sure how it isn’t.

He takes a long, careful breath and then slides his hand out from under the nurse’s so that he can reach up and pull down his oxygen mask once more.

“There was someone else,” he says, speech slow and halting. “Shot in the shoulder. How is she?”

The nurse looks confused for a moment, then her face brightens with recognition. “Oh, she’s fine. Clean in and out, limited mobility in the shoulder now but she should recover full movement in time.”

“The baby?”

“Also just fine. Now please,” she affixes the mask to his face once more, “keep this on. And please don’t mention that I told you any of this; it’s really none of my business. You just looked so devastated I couldn’t leave it alone. Now, I’m going to give you something for the pain and you are going to promise me that you’ll sleep. You need it.”

Aaron nods, but he doesn’t think that he’ll be sleeping. He’s exhausted but his mind is whirling, still trying to process all that has happened. He’s having a hard time getting his head around it; keeps wondering what they’d all missed. That Lachlan was troubled was obvious, but to do this? Was there a way that he could have figured it out? Could he have stopped this if he’d paid just a little more attention? He wants to say no, wants to believe that he wasn’t in some way responsible for what had happened, but he can’t quite make himself believe it. He’d started this whole thing by visiting Lachlan, by continuing to visit even when he saw that Lachlan was becoming oddly attached. This is down to him.

He thinks of his mum, thinks of what might have happened had Lachlan’s bullet moved just a bit in any direction. He thinks of Vic, of how she might have lost her baby simply because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He thinks of Robert in a coma, and tears begin to leak out of his eyes. So many people hurt, and all because of him. Even Lawrence and Chrissie. If he had never started this, she would have never felt the need to come after him the way she had, and Lachlan would not have resorted to the gun.

Aaron’s eyelids feel heavy; despite himself he’s falling asleep, and he realizes that there must have been a sedative in the pain medication the nurse had given him. Obviously she hadn’t trusted his promise. He fights it; can’t help but do so when what he wants to do is go over every bit of Lachlan’s behavior in his head and pick out all the hints that he missed, all the things that he should have seen and didn’t, but the sedative is strong and soon enough he succumbs to it, falling into a restless sleep filled with tangled dreams that he won’t remember later.

He’s allowed up the next day, but his fractured femur and broken wrist make it near impossible for him to get around on his own. He makes noises about it because Liv is there and it makes her smile to see him grumpily insisting that he’s fine, he can handle himself, but the truth is that he’s glad for it. He’s tired and weak, and the medication that they have him on would probably leave him none too steady on his own feet anyway, let alone on the crutches he’d need to use with his broken leg. Besides, Liv is almost eager to push him around in it, to help in some small way, and he wouldn’t take that from her for the world.   
  
He visits his mum first. She’s only allowed one visitor at a time so a nurse wheels him in while Cain and Liv wait outside. She’s awake when they go in, although both Cain and the nurse had warned Aaron that she might not be; she spends most of her time asleep. Her head is swathed in bandages, and she looks so small and fragile in the hospital bed. When she sees him her eyes light up and her fingers twitch. “Aaron.”  
  
He takes her hand with his good one, tears filling his eyes. “Mum. I’m so sorry. I-“  
  
“Oh, baby,” she says. “No.” Her hand squeezes his; it’s weak, but not as weak as he would have thought. “This is not your fault. This is down to him. Do you hear me?”  
  
Aaron bites his lip so that the denials he wants to say won’t spill out. He nods for his mum’s sake, blinking, and the tears slide down his face. He absently reaches up to wipe them away, but stops when he sees the cast. He imagines that it wouldn’t feel too good to smack himself in the eye with that, so although there is a part of him that would like to do it anyway he puts his arm back down and lets the tears fall.   
  
Chas’ own eyes are wet. She squeezes his hand again. “Promise me you won’t go blaming yourself,” she says, voice fading at the end. Her eyelids droop slightly and she visibly fights to keep them open.   
  
“Sleep,” Aaron says. “You need it.”  
  
“Not until you promise.”  
  
Aaron bites his lip. “I promise,” he says, but he’s lying and they both know it. Chas opens her mouth to say something else, but nothing is said as her eyes fall closed and her hand grows lax in Aaron’s grip. 

  
“She gets tired quick,” Cain says when the nurse wheels him back out. “But they say she’ll be fine.”  
  
“She will be,” the nurse says. “She stayed awake longer today than yesterday, and she’ll keep improving. I know it’s hard but you have to be patient.”  
  
Cain makes a rude noise and she rolls her eyes, obviously too used to this kind of behavior to take offense. Her eyebrows do go up a bit when Liv gets in her space, but she relinquishes Aaron’s chair to her easily enough.  
  
“Sugden’s turn, is it?” Cain asks, and Aaron shrugs. Robert isn’t awake. No one is troubling to be worried though, not yet. No one but Aaron, who can’t help but think of the last time that Robert was in hospital.   
  
“Yes,” Liv says firmly. “Robert next.”  
  
He looks small, somehow, on the hospital bed. Pale. Aaron watches his chest rise and fall and wishes that Liv had stayed. He knows that she’d left to give him privacy but he doesn’t want to be here. It’s too awful. The last time he’d seen Robert like this he’d been a mess, wanting to hate him so badly and yet not quite able to make it, furious because he knew that if he were smart the best thing that he could do for himself would be a find a way to force himself over that line but he never could. He would never be free of Robert, not completely. He hates himself for it, but he could almost wish to have that fury back. It had saved him from the terror twisting in his gut now. The guilt.   
  
“I’m so sorry,” he says, grasping one of Robert’s limp hands with his good one. “It doesn’t matter what mum says. This is down to me.” He sniffles, then forces some levity into his voice. “Although you shouldn’t have tried to take him on. So stupid. Why are you always so stupid? So-“ he cuts himself off with a sigh. He’s so tired, but he can’t sleep. Even with sedatives his dreams are full of Lachlan. Some nights his corpse is after Aaron, others he kills everyone in the pub before shooting Aaron. By far the worst though are the dreams in which Lachlan survives the crash and begs Aaron to help him, bloodied hands reaching towards him, mangled face working. It’s those dreams that have him waking up with a scream lodged in his throat, eyes bulging. Easier not to sleep at all.  
  
He squeezes Robert’s hand. “I love you,” he says, voice cracking. “I do. I don’t know why I keep messing things up. I was going to tell you that, before.” He lets out a weak laugh that sounds more like a sob. “You can’t get out of talking to me this way, you know. We’re going to finish that fight when you wake up.” He closes his eyes and kisses the back of Robert’s hand. “If you’re lucky I might even say you were right. And the great Robert Sugden can’t miss an opportunity to gloat, yeah?”  
  
“Now he’ll wake up for sure,” Liv says from behind him. He hadn’t even heard her enter the room. She puts her hand on his shoulder and squeezes.

“He wouldn’t leave you anyway. You know that.”  
  
He cranes his neck to look back at her. “Since when do you take up for Robert?” he asks.  
  
She shrugs. “Since both of you decided to act like idiots.” Her mouth tightens and starts to work; tears fill her eyes. Suddenly she flings herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and squeezing tightly, burying her face in the side of his neck. “Don’t do it again,” she says, voice shaking. “I don’t like it.”  
  
He lets go of Robert’s hand so that he can return the embrace, hugging her back hard in spite of the pain in his chest, his hurt ribs protesting. “I’ll try not to,” he says.  
  
Liv sniffs hard and pulls back, but not completely out of his arms; only enough to meet his eyes. She wipes at her eyes with an almost angry gesture. “You’d better,” she says, “because if you do this to me again I’ll kill you myself.”  
  
He tightens his arms around her and kisses the side of her head. His eyes stray over to Robert, lying so still in the hospital bed. He bites his lip. “I promise.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end. Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, and kudosed. Sorry this took so long and I hope you enjoy! :)

Aaron doesn’t visit Robert again, and no amount of glaring from Liv or raised eyebrows from Cain can get him to do so. He still visits his mum, but he can’t go in there and see Robert on that bed, can’t look at him so still and so silent and think of all the ways that he screwed everything up. Bad enough that he relives it every night when he closes his eyes; he can’t deal with seeing just what he’s done to Robert.   
  
Chas is another story. He hates seeing her in the hospital bed, hates that he’s the one who put her there, but he can’t get away with not visiting. She won’t let him. The one time he’d tried it she’d set Cain on him, and though his uncle had seemed to sympathize he was far less scared of Aaron’s wrath and retribution than hers.   
  
She takes after him about Robert, too, but there he will not be swayed. Every time she brings it up he changes the subject, until she finally sighs, shakes her head, and lets it go…until the next visit. When Robert wakes up she is harder to distract, but Aaron manages it. She still tires too easily to put up a really good fight, and though he feels bad for taking advantage of it it doesn’t stop him.   
  
Other than his mum, he’s left alone about it. Even if no one understands, they accept that he’s dealing with what happened in his own way. Truth is that most of the people in his life still don’t care for Robert much, and they’re more willing to give Aaron leeway when it comes to him.   
  
Not so Vic, who is finally the one to say something. A few days after Robert wakes, she storms into the back of the Woolpack looking furious. She stands in front of Aaron with her hands on her hips and fixes him with a glare.   
  
“What exactly are you doing?” she demands. “Robert is awake and you haven’t been to see him once. Adam says I should leave you alone about it but I can’t. He needs you, Aaron, and you’re what? Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?” She shakes her head, and she looks so disappointed that Aaron has to look away.  
  
“I don’t get it. Adam said that you wanted to make it up as much as he did, and now here you are while he’s in hospital. He keeps asking for ya and I don’t know what to tell him. If you’re done with him that’s fine, but doing it this way is low.”  
  
Aaron’s head jerks up. “I’m not done with him, I just…I can’t…”  
  
“Can’t what? Spit it out.”  
  
“I can’t see him like that knowing it’s my fault.”  
  
She stares at him. “You’re joking me. That’s why you’re not going to see him?” She sits down on the sofa and rolls her eyes. “You might be too stupid to live. That wasn’t your fault, Aaron. None of it. Lachlan was the one who did this,” she gestured to her shoulder. “He shot Robert, he shot your mum, he kidnapped you.”  
  
“He only did all of that because of me.”  
  
She snorts. “The ego on you. Lachlan was nuts, alright, he was going to pop off on someone or other eventually.”  
  
“If I hadn’t encouraged him-“  
  
“If Chrissie hadn’t framed Andy for shooting Lawrence. If Robert hadn’t riled him up. If he hadn’t shot his granddad in the first place. If he wasn’t such a psycho. You want to place blame, put it where it belongs, which is definitely not on you. Trying to be there for the lad makes you soft, not responsible.” She balls one hand into a fist and hits him hard. “Now stop being a pillock and go visit my brother. I can’t deal with his moping.”  
  
Aaron laughs. “I will, I will,” he says, and is surprised when Vic stands and grabs his hand, pulling him up from the sofa. He wobbles awkwardly on one foot for a moment, then slides gratefully into his wheelchair. Vic steps behind him and starts pushing him out into the main bar. “What, now?”  
  
“No, I thought next year might work better. Yes, now. I’ve already got Adam waiting in the bar; he’ll drive you to hospital.”  
  
“Vic –“  
  
“No. You’re going to visit my brother if I have to wheel you there myself.”  
  
“I said I would,” he says, but he doesn’t try stop her from maneuvering his chair out of the back. He’s secretly glad that she’s effectively taking the choice out of his hands; he’s not entirely sure that he would go to see Robert without it.  
  
“You did, and no offense, but I don’t believe ya. Adam, make sure he doesn’t come home until he and Robert are sorted.”   
  
Adam gives her a grin and a kiss, then shrugs at Aaron. “It’s easier to just do what she says, mate, trust me,” he says, and then laughs and dodges out of the way when Vic swats at him.   
  
“Go on, then,” Vic says, making shooing motions with her hands. She looks at Aaron and smiles. “It’ll all be fine,” she says, and Aaron smiles back, but he can't help but think that Vic is being far too positive.

Robert is alone when Aaron enters the room. He spies one or two vases with flowers and a bag full of grapes on the table next to him – the flowers are more than likely Diane’s doing, the grapes Vic’s, or perhaps Bernice’s. Aaron wheels his chair close to Robert’s bed but doesn’t say anything. Robert doesn’t look at him.   
  
“Finally remembered that I exist, then?” Robert asks, voice cold. Aaron flinches.   
  
“I d-“  
  
“Shut up.” Robert still doesn’t look at him. “I don’t want to hear it. It’s obvious you don’t want anything to do with me, but I thought better of you than to do it this way.” He laughs bitterly. “I guess it’s what I deserve, after everything, eh?”  
  
“Don’t be an idiot,” Aaron says, voice rough. He reaches for Robert’s hand, but Robert pulls it away. Aaron closes his eyes for a moment and swallows hard. His throat is dry and swallowing is hurts, so he does it again. The hand that reached for Robert curls into a fist, nails biting into flesh. He presses harder, relishing the pain. He knows it’s wrong, but it calms him a bit. Steadies him so that he can get the words out.   
  
“I know I should have been here, but I couldn’t see you like this knowing that I did it to you. That if I hadn’t encouraged him, he never would have come to the Woolpack. Never would have shot you, or Vic, or my mum.” He keeps his head down, his eyes on his own lap. He can’t look at Robert for this part. “Even Chrissie and Lawrence. So many people, dead because I couldn’t leave him to it.”  
  
“Oh, and here we go.”  
  
Aaron’s head snaps up; Robert is looking at him now, eyes hard, mouth curled into a hard little smile. “What did I say at the scrapyard? Poor, pitiful Aaron? And you thought I was wrong, didn’t you? But here you are, once again playing the martyr.”  
  
The words cut like knives; Aaron winces away from them, eyes filling with always ready tears. “That’s n-“  
  
“Oh, no, you’ve had your say. It’s my turn. I bet everyone is just falling all over themselves to tell you that you have it wrong, too. That Lachlan was a little psycho who was bound to lose it at some point and that you were only trying to help. And no one has the guts to tell you to your face that you should have just backed off.” Robert’s eyes are too bright; he’s breathing too heavily, and suddenly Aaron’s more worried about what he’s doing to himself than what he’s saying. He’s getting too worked up. It can’t be good for him.   
  
“Robert-“  
  
“Shut up, shut _up_. I am so sick of you always doing this. Every time, you take the option that nearly gets you killed. I told you I couldn’t keep losing you. I told you. And then you did it again. What am I supposed to do when you keep on –“  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Robert -“  
  
Aaron cuts his own words off with a cry of alarm as Robert lurches at him. He fists his hand in Aaron’s hoodie and drags him forward, off of his chair. Both of Aaron’s feet hit the ground in an effort to stop himself falling, and he lets out another cry, but this one is all pain as the foot of his bad leg slams into the ground. Robert doesn’t seem to hear it, or if he does he doesn’t care. He pulls Aaron forward until they are practically nose to nose, so that he can hiss his next words right into Aaron’s face.   
  
_“You drove off with him_. Never mind the rest of it. You got in your car and you drove off with him, and I didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Do you get that? You went off to die and you just _left_ me there, let me lose you again, and I couldn’t do _anything_. I couldn’t even call the bloody police. And then, when I woke up you weren’t here, and I thought you had died. You let me think that. And I hate you for it.”  
  
Aaron is shaking. He’s terrified that Robert means what he’s saying, that he truly hates him. The thought takes his breath away; and he can’t help the tears that fall. Can’t help the way his hand reaches up to touch Robert’s face, or the way that the words spill out of him, too fast and too desperate.   
  
“I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t see you, not knowing – you nearly died. Again. Because of me. Because I couldn’t help myself, like you said. I didn’t know how to handle it; can barely handle looking at mum like she is. Can barely – I know it was selfish. I know. But I didn’t want you telling me that you were done. I couldn’t bear it. And I knew you would. Knew you’d hate me.”  
  
Robert sighs. It sounds like it hurts. He pulls Aaron’s hand off of his face and leans forward until their foreheads are touching. “I don’t hate you,” he says in a low, pained voice. “I don’t think I ever could. But I can’t keep doing this either.” He pulls back enough so that they can look at each other properly, and Aaron is dismayed to see the tears on his cheeks. “You have to promise me you won’t do this again. Please. If I lost ya, I wouldn’t be able to go on. I wouldn’t be able to make myself.”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  
  
“I mean it.”  
  
Aaron sniffs. “I don’t do it on purpose,” he says.  
  
“Don’t you? This is the second time you’ve done something like this, third if you count – it’s like you don’t even care what happens to you. I need you to care. I need you to want to keep going.”  
  
Aaron shakes his head. “I do. It killed me, going with him. I hated leaving you. Hated knowing that I could die, or you could. But if I hadn’t a gone with him, he’d have killed you. I couldn’t let that happen.”   
  
“Better me than you.”   
  
“How can you say that? I couldn’t –“ Aaron cuts himself off with a wry laugh. “Look at us. We’re a right pair, aren’t we?”  
  
Robert’s mouth twitches. “Perfect for each other, really. But you should have come to see me. You should have been here.” His eyes were filling again, and Aaron ignored the renewed pain in his leg to slide even closer, to press their foreheads together again.  
  
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again.”  
  
“Well, it's not like you'll have much opportunity, unless you have any more psychos you’ve been chatting up recently.” A pause. “You don’t, do you?”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Just you,” he says, then pulls back. Or tries to, because as soon as he starts moving Robert tightens his hold.   
  
“You’re not going anywhere.”  
  
“No,” Aaron promises, then winces. “But I really can’t stay like this; my leg is killing me.”  
  
Robert gives his hoodie a tug and starts to scoot over on the small bed. “Get up here, then.”  
  
Aaron raises a brow. “I don’t think that’s the best idea,” he says, but he doesn’t really mean it; even as he says the words he’s using his good leg to push himself on the bed.   
  
“Don’t care what you think. You aren’t allowed to do the thinking anymore,” Robert says, and though he’s not smiling his eyes are bright with amusement.   
  
“Well, you can’t do it either. Your ideas leave you hanging from trees.”  
  
“That was one time. One time.”  
  
Aaron laughs, then sobers. They’re both on their sides, facing each other, and Aaron reaches up to stroke Robert’s cheek. Robert’s eyes flutter closed at the touch.   
  
“I love you,” Aaron says. “And I really am sorry.”  
  
Robert’s eyes open and meet Aaron’s; he takes Aaron’s hand and twines their fingers together. “I love you too. And I lied before. It wasn’t your fault. I was just-“  
  
“I know.” Aaron shifts closer and presses their lips together. He intends for it to be a light kiss but Robert has other ideas; he presses into it and opens his mouth, keeps going until they are both breathless. Even then they can’t stop, keep pressing soft kisses into each other’s skin until Robert’s eyelids start to droop.  
  
“Go to sleep,” Aaron says. “You need your rest.”  
  
Robert looks at him through half-lidded eyes. “You’ll be here when I wake up?” he asks, and Aaron hates the touch of uncertainty in his voice.   
  
“’Course I will,” he says, squeezing his hand, and Robert lets his eyes close fully. He’s soon fast asleep, drooling a bit, and Aaron smiles fondly at him. He can’t believe how stupid he’d been, staying away, and he makes a promise to himself that he won’t be that stupid again.  
  
He means to get back in his chair, he really does, but he hasn’t been sleeping well either, guilt and worry making it nearly impossible, and soon enough he is just as gone as Robert is. When Robert’s nurse comes in to check on him she only debates making Aaron move until she sees how they’re as tangled together as they can get, what with two casts and a still healing chest wound, and notices the matching rings on their fingers. She doesn’t exactly keep up with the gossip, but she doesn’t try not to listen either, and it doesn’t take much guesswork to figure out who the other man is, and what his presence must mean to her patient. Her heart isn’t made of stone, after all, and it’s fairly obvious that both of them are better for being together. So instead of waking either of them she closes the blinds to Robert’s room and shuts his door quietly, a small smile on her face. 

*

“This is ridiculous; I can walk,” Robert says, folding his arms over his chest and looking like a sulky little boy.

“Hospital policy; no walking for you until you’re out,” Liv says back, giving the chair she holds a shake. “So get in and stop whining or stay here forever; I don’t care either way.”

Robert raises his eyebrow at her then turns his face to Aaron. “You said she was happy I’d lived,” he says. “Fibber.”

Aaron laughs. “This _is_ her being happy. If she wanted you dead she’d leave you here to rot.”

“But _you_ wouldn’t leave me,” Robert says smugly.

“Wouldn’t be able to push you down the halls though, would I?” Aaron gestures at his own chair, still grinning. “You’d have to do it all under your own power, and then we’d have to listen to you whinge about that.”

“If you really loved me you’d tell them I don’t need this stupid thing, Aaron.”

“True. Guess my secret’s out now, isn’t it?”

Robert laughs and sits in the chair, shaking his head. “Completely ridiculous,” he mutters, and then Liv’s shoving him forward and telling him to shut up.

He knows that she means to be sedate and keep pace with him, but then Robert starts egging her to go faster and faster and soon enough the two of them are zipping down the hall, both laughing at the admonishments of the nursing staff to slow down. They aren’t extremely forceful about it, though; Aaron suspects that they are glad to see the back of them. Robert isn’t the best patient in the world and the last few days of his recovery have been a trial for everyone involved. Aaron understands, but he’s glad for more than one reason that Robert is finally coming home.

He follows behind them more slowly, having no urge to race down the halls. His mum is still in hospital; he’d stopped to visit her before going down to Robert. She will be staying her for a while yet; she’s still got a long way to go before she’s fully recovered, although the doctors all say that she’s improving quickly. He’s glad for that, and gladder still for the spark he saw in her eyes today, the one that says that she’s ready to get the hell out of there. It’s that more than anything else that has him convinced that she is going to be okay.

“You like this place so well you want to stay here forever, or what?”

Aaron looks up, startled, and realizes that he’s stopped just past the doors. Robert has already abandoned his chair and has settled himself in the back of the car, his legs so long that they’re practically around his ears even though Vic has her seat pulled as far forward as possible. He’s grinning.

Aaron feels a smile stretch his own face. He wheels outside and maneuvers himself into the car, also in the back despite knowing that it’ll hurt his leg. Once he’s settled he turns and gives Robert a look. “Thanks for the help, mate. Really appreciate it.”

“I’m injured,” Robert says comfortably, and Vic laughs. As she pulls away from the kerb Aaron reaches over and clasps Robert’s hand with his own. Robert looks over at him, surprised but pleased, and Aaron feels the last bit of tension drain away. He can finally believe that it’s over.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please, leave a comment if you like. :)


End file.
